How to clean cat?
05-19-2011, 01:25 AM
#2
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With whiskers or no? Cat’s usually don’t like water but hey I have one that actually likes it. A little suave shampoo and conditioner and they’re great.
For the non-feline cat I’d suggest remove it, dawn, hot water and an old tooth brush. Not sure if that is what others have done as I’ve never cleaned a non-feline cat.
For the non-feline cat I’d suggest remove it, dawn, hot water and an old tooth brush. Not sure if that is what others have done as I’ve never cleaned a non-feline cat.
05-19-2011, 05:08 AM
#4
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Step 1: Remove cat
Step 2: Tie 3 to 4 M-80's together
Step 3: Light M-80's and insert in hole at either end
Step 4: Move away and wait for the "pop"
Step 5: Admire your handy work
Works for feline and non-feline.... On second thought don't do this. But if you do, let me know if it works, I was always curious
NDA: I neither condone or recommend said actions for sarcastic purposes only. That is all
Step 2: Tie 3 to 4 M-80's together
Step 3: Light M-80's and insert in hole at either end
Step 4: Move away and wait for the "pop"
Step 5: Admire your handy work
Works for feline and non-feline.... On second thought don't do this. But if you do, let me know if it works, I was always curious
NDA: I neither condone or recommend said actions for sarcastic purposes only. That is all
05-19-2011, 08:43 AM
#6
Extraordinary Engineering
http://f2.org/humour/catbath.html
How to Bath the Cat
This handy hint arrived in my mailbox via Stephen Barnes:
Thoroughly clean the toilet.
Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids lifted.
Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I found to be quite effective.
Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.
The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The Dog
Cat Bathing As A Martial Art
Know that although the kitty cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, we recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)
Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. We recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.
Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.)
Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have now begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.)
Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg.
You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.
In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But at least now he smells a lot better.
How to Bath the Cat
This handy hint arrived in my mailbox via Stephen Barnes:
Thoroughly clean the toilet.
Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids lifted.
Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I found to be quite effective.
Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.
The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The Dog
Cat Bathing As A Martial Art
Know that although the kitty cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, we recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)
Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. We recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.
Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.)
Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have now begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.)
Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg.
You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.
In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But at least now he smells a lot better.
05-19-2011, 08:49 AM
#7
Personally, I have never done this, though I would imagine you would have to tie him or her down with something before inserting into bath tub. Then use your favorite Kitty Shampoo and Conditioner. Once all is washed, hang kitty on your clothes line and allow drying for up to 24 hours. But dont worry - He or she will stop moving after only a few minutes.
Lol, on a serious note, take off the CAT to start with - There are many DIY's on how to do this. I simply gutted mine when it went. Just take a long bar and pound ALL of the contents out of it. There will be a first section that you will break through, then a space (Where the O2 sensor is, so don't hit it), and then there will be a second section. Hit through this and make sure to clear out the entire CAT of all remnants and pieces. And remember not to hit the O2 sensor.
Lol, on a serious note, take off the CAT to start with - There are many DIY's on how to do this. I simply gutted mine when it went. Just take a long bar and pound ALL of the contents out of it. There will be a first section that you will break through, then a space (Where the O2 sensor is, so don't hit it), and then there will be a second section. Hit through this and make sure to clear out the entire CAT of all remnants and pieces. And remember not to hit the O2 sensor.
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