dazygirl415

OK, I have a serious question and it has to do with a past relationship so I guess it fits best in this thread.

My ex's best friend/room mate, Lo, is getting married on March 19. Lo calls me last week to tell me this and says that he told my ex to call, but he didn't want to because it might be weird. We broke up over a year ago now. I'm completely over him, pretty much was when I left, but I know he's not over me. Should I go to the wedding? I was friends with all of his cousins who are our age, and it would be neat to see them all again, but at the same time, I don't want to make it weird and when I moved to FW I decided to move forward and leave that part of my life behind. What do you guys think?

NYT-OWL

The final decision is really up to you. It all depends on your wants, how badly you want to see your other friends, his cousins and so forth. Your ex is and ex for a reason. You can still go to the wedding and still move forward. If your ex feels weird, then that's something you can't help. You can't help the way other people feel about you, I know. I also believe that destiny has a hand in a lot of things and maybe yours lie in meeting someone new at the wedding. If not, at least there's free food and drinks.
peace.... Brian.

dazygirl415

Alright. I don't want to go.

ALWAZL8

If it were me, I would send Lo a wedding gift and call it "done".

ALWAZL8

LOL... you are soooo right!

NYT-OWL

BTW Dazy, how long have you and Lo been friends? If you have known Lo longer than your ex. I say you should go. Maybe you ex won't even be there and you then take the risk of hurting your friends feelings by not showing. Especially if this is a decent size wedding, you might not even run into your ex. Even if your ex is there, you're not obligated to talk to him/her. If he/she approaches you, just be polite and if he/she tries to start things back up with you, just say that you've moved on and you're happier now.

dazygirl415

Lo is his cousing--I met him because of my ex and I know for a fact he'll be there. I seriously doubt it'll be a big wedding, and my ex knows darn well that I don't want to be with him. I think I've made that clear enough, but it still doesn't stop him from doing the "Are you sure," "Are you seeing anyone?" OF COURSE I'M SURE--I LEFT YOUR ***! And it's none of his business whether or not I'm seeing anyone. Geez!

Ah, <sigh> that felt good.

NYT-OWL

Maybe you should go just to spite him. Even bring someone. Does he know your roommate Jessie? If not just tell him that she's your lesbian lover and that you two are exclusive.

dazygirl415

I've thought about going to "show off" the fact that I'm happier without him and show him how far I've come (especially the 8), but that may be mean. He hasn't met Jessie and that would be hilarious if we did that, but I don't want her to meet him. There's no reason for her to. Any of you guys wanna be my "date?" You'd get to pretend to be my boyfriend and put your hands all over me...

NYT-OWL

Ok, lets go back a little. What was the reason for the break up between you two?

dazygirl415

Oh man, you really want me to go through that? He did drugs and hated my family and never helped out around the house (we lived together) while I worked full-time and went to school full-time. I would leave before he got up and get home when he was asleep. He worked 8-5 M-F and wouldn't even do the dishes. I told him that I needed him to help around the house, quit the drugs and go with me to family functions (BBQs, b-days, etc.) Stupid me gave him a 2nd chance after he begged me to stay. He didn't fix it and I got tired of it so I left (that's how I met Jessie). Turns out that he fooled me the entire time after the 2nd chance talk into thinking he quit the drugs. He admitted to me a couple months after I left that he had been doing it the whole time--never stopped. Made me look like a fool in front of everyone b/c they all knew and I didn't. I guess it boiled down to the fact that I grew up in college and he didn't and that all the mis-treating he did made me not love him anymore.

dazygirl415

I've learned a lot though. I don't take any **** from any man when it comes to relationships. It doesn't take much to treat someone with respect, and that's what I expect--especially since I give respect in return. Don't lie to me and don't treat me like I'm beneath you. Be a grown up and do your own **** (like have a job, pay your bills, do your own laundry and dishes and cleaning), don't expect "your woman" to do it for you.

ALWAZL8

AMEN to that, sister!

brothervoodoo

I couldn't even get past the first page in this thread too damn depressing...

dazygirl415

Yeah, don't read this one if you're looking for a pick-me-up. We dump all of our "crap" here.

NYT-OWL

He didn't make you look like a fool. He just lifted his guise and showed you his true self, that he's a drug using looser. Basically it comes down to this, you trusted him and his word. For him to admit it after you guys broke up just shows how immature and stupid he is. "ha ha I'm a drug addict and now you look like a fool". Seriously! You should have just laughed in his face and said you're right, you are a junkie and I deserve better, that's why I left your sorry ***.

dazygirl415

You know I would never say that. I should though.

NYT-OWL

That's what's really sad, most people don't know what they have or appreciate what they have until you take it away.

dazygirl415

Odd that you say that. He said that too the few times we saw each other after the break-up. Anyways, I talked to my all-knowing co-worker Bob and I'm not going.

NYT-OWL

I was telling a friend of mine at work about our forum. He said that our forum sounds like we have a lot more fun than the forums that he's been on. I told him to join up so he can post stories of his ex- here as well.

dazygirl415

This is much more than a forum. All of these discussions are free group therapy sessions and our meets are really excuses to get out and drink while we admire our cars.

Ajax

who said they're free? I see you haven't gotten my invoice yet.

dazygirl415

I don't think your secretary is doing her job then. Just charge it to my account.

NYT-OWL

Yeah, I think your secretary is cheating on you by taking dictations for another therapist. Look under his desk you'll probably find her. You can leave her $2 for her severance pay. When she asks you what's the $2 for, you can reply,"the going rate for $2 ******...right?"

dazygirl415

I think it went up to $2.50 for cost of living increase. Mouthwash is getting expensive.