Help me get my car back :-(
04-06-2006, 05:13 PM
#52
Again I agree with everything Ike has said, which is really weird, aside from our beliefs in car trannies and their proper definition, I find myself agreeing with him more often then not.
That being said...
Dude, my guess is you're probably Asian yes? (Not racially motivated in anyway, just pointing it out as my friends, who are asian, are the only people that have the super over-controlling, mail opening nosy parents). I can sympathize with you because i know how out of control those type of parents can be, but honestly, if you knew that, you shouldn't have used your parents at all to buy a car or open a bank account (seriously WTF?).
My friend who has an over-controlling set of parents just stopped involving them in her life. Before she would use them for money, or whatever else she needed and if you're going to do that you have to deal with the consequences.
That being said...
Dude, my guess is you're probably Asian yes? (Not racially motivated in anyway, just pointing it out as my friends, who are asian, are the only people that have the super over-controlling, mail opening nosy parents). I can sympathize with you because i know how out of control those type of parents can be, but honestly, if you knew that, you shouldn't have used your parents at all to buy a car or open a bank account (seriously WTF?).
My friend who has an over-controlling set of parents just stopped involving them in her life. Before she would use them for money, or whatever else she needed and if you're going to do that you have to deal with the consequences.
04-06-2006, 06:04 PM
#54
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No not Asian.
It being a secret had nothing to do with growing up, more of the whole reason we did it was for us, and we didnt want to have to please anyone with the whole wedding stuff.
I guess the reason I never decided to get the stuff in my name before hand was that it was just easy/comfortable to leave it how it was since it wasn't a concern, obviously I know better now.
As far as me having to grow up lol, I have been working in the Federal Government for almost 4 years, most people never even touch there for work, and I am moving in the ranks and have many outs and chances to transfer into branches such as the FBI, ICE, FAM and others.
And people, I said if I could NOT get my car back, but also have my name off the credit I WOULD... like I said, I have now located a 2006 RX8 around the corner from me, and would love to get the 'one I want', instead of the one I settled with (only 2 on the lot at the time). I still love it though :-D
It being a secret had nothing to do with growing up, more of the whole reason we did it was for us, and we didnt want to have to please anyone with the whole wedding stuff.
I guess the reason I never decided to get the stuff in my name before hand was that it was just easy/comfortable to leave it how it was since it wasn't a concern, obviously I know better now.
As far as me having to grow up lol, I have been working in the Federal Government for almost 4 years, most people never even touch there for work, and I am moving in the ranks and have many outs and chances to transfer into branches such as the FBI, ICE, FAM and others.
And people, I said if I could NOT get my car back, but also have my name off the credit I WOULD... like I said, I have now located a 2006 RX8 around the corner from me, and would love to get the 'one I want', instead of the one I settled with (only 2 on the lot at the time). I still love it though :-D
04-06-2006, 08:13 PM
#55
Shock and Awe
Originally Posted by Ike
Says the girl that lives with her crazy stepfather and mom in a trailer park at the age of 25 and works a claimed 80 hours a week to afford a car that doesn't even have a parking spot at her residence. Lets not forget you considered becoming a prostitute about a month ago in order to pay for bills, yet you went out and bought a 33 thousand dollar car.
You both did some stupid things, but on the dumbness scale you kick his ***. At least it sounds like he's trying to get out on his own and grow up.
People in glass houses...
You both did some stupid things, but on the dumbness scale you kick his ***. At least it sounds like he's trying to get out on his own and grow up.
People in glass houses...
04-06-2006, 09:25 PM
#56
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Originally Posted by Acclaim99
Other person is a mom, and no where near a teenage kid....
I didn't know exactly what position I was in until everything went down (she also had her name on my bank account, and took that money) etc.
I didn't know exactly what position I was in until everything went down (she also had her name on my bank account, and took that money) etc.
04-06-2006, 09:49 PM
#57
Klingon Grammarian
A couple comments from the peanut gallery:
1) It is not at all hard to think of reasons why perfectly adult people might choose to keep a marriage secret from family. They would generally have to do with family members not being perfectly adult. Granted it doesn't *sound* extremely adult at first blush, but we don't know the whole story and it's not prima facie evidence of immaturity to wish to keep family out of marriage.
2) Prostitution is an ancient and honorable profession, and I see no reason to put someone down for considering it, or indeed actually practicing it.
1) It is not at all hard to think of reasons why perfectly adult people might choose to keep a marriage secret from family. They would generally have to do with family members not being perfectly adult. Granted it doesn't *sound* extremely adult at first blush, but we don't know the whole story and it's not prima facie evidence of immaturity to wish to keep family out of marriage.
2) Prostitution is an ancient and honorable profession, and I see no reason to put someone down for considering it, or indeed actually practicing it.
04-06-2006, 10:20 PM
#59
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Originally Posted by Acclaim99
No not Asian.
It being a secret had nothing to do with growing up, more of the whole reason we did it was for us, and we didnt want to have to please anyone with the whole wedding stuff.
I guess the reason I never decided to get the stuff in my name before hand was that it was just easy/comfortable to leave it how it was since it wasn't a concern, obviously I know better now.
As far as me having to grow up lol, I have been working in the Federal Government for almost 4 years, most people never even touch there for work, and I am moving in the ranks and have many outs and chances to transfer into branches such as the FBI, ICE, FAM and others.
And people, I said if I could NOT get my car back, but also have my name off the credit I WOULD... like I said, I have now located a 2006 RX8 around the corner from me, and would love to get the 'one I want', instead of the one I settled with (only 2 on the lot at the time). I still love it though :-D
It being a secret had nothing to do with growing up, more of the whole reason we did it was for us, and we didnt want to have to please anyone with the whole wedding stuff.
I guess the reason I never decided to get the stuff in my name before hand was that it was just easy/comfortable to leave it how it was since it wasn't a concern, obviously I know better now.
As far as me having to grow up lol, I have been working in the Federal Government for almost 4 years, most people never even touch there for work, and I am moving in the ranks and have many outs and chances to transfer into branches such as the FBI, ICE, FAM and others.
And people, I said if I could NOT get my car back, but also have my name off the credit I WOULD... like I said, I have now located a 2006 RX8 around the corner from me, and would love to get the 'one I want', instead of the one I settled with (only 2 on the lot at the time). I still love it though :-D
04-06-2006, 10:34 PM
#60
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Originally Posted by RedSheDevil
I don't think you can involve a lawyer, wouldn't registering it under her name only to get lower insurance be considered insurance fraud?
The good thing about this is it's your MOM. I'm sure this "psycho" behavior of hers probably has some backing in past issues. Sounds like you two need to work on the trust issue before you can worry about getting your car back. Why don't you approach this as an adult, propose a sit-down and work things out as adults do without yelling or threats or the like.
It just may be that she's trying to save you from yourself, and if you put her at ease, she will probably work with you to get you into a good situation for your finances.
Parents who snoop and act psycho have *usually* been pushed to that extreme. Take the reigns and show her you're an adult and she'll prolly come around.
The good thing about this is it's your MOM. I'm sure this "psycho" behavior of hers probably has some backing in past issues. Sounds like you two need to work on the trust issue before you can worry about getting your car back. Why don't you approach this as an adult, propose a sit-down and work things out as adults do without yelling or threats or the like.
It just may be that she's trying to save you from yourself, and if you put her at ease, she will probably work with you to get you into a good situation for your finances.
Parents who snoop and act psycho have *usually* been pushed to that extreme. Take the reigns and show her you're an adult and she'll prolly come around.
That assumes that his mother can be reasonable and sit down for a calm discussion. I'm sorry but if you believe that everyone can do this...
To be a bit crass... some people have serious issues and others have "Peter Pan syndrome"... you can't be reasonable with these people. Either you find a way to manage them/deal with them or you just effectively remove them from your life.
04-06-2006, 10:53 PM
#63
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Originally Posted by Ike
I'm not anywhere near perfect. I agree with you that he needs to grow up, I said it in this thread before you did. He's not the only one that needs to grow up and made some dumb decisions. My mortgage is twice what I was paying in rent a year ago, I could have been driving an M5 or a 911 and kept paying rent rather than buy a house, but that would have been DUMB. It would have been even more dumb if I had bought a new car when I had tons of medical bills and job stability was a question while I was paying rent and living in my parents trailer. Just because you pay your parents $250 a month doesn't make his decisions any more stupid than yours. When your car is worth more than the place you live in there's a problem, especially when you're considering becoming a ***** to pay for said car rather than cancelling the damn order.
I bet that when she read the first few sentences, she's cracking a smile and thinks you're a good guy. It's all downhill from there and suicide might not be such a bad Idea after reading the end of it........
Kinda reminds me of girl interupted. You know, the one that commits suicide after Jolie rips into her.
Warning, this post was not intended to harm the lives of rx8club members.......I'm just a likkle drunk and mean things make me laugh
04-06-2006, 10:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Acclaim99
No not Asian.
As far as me having to grow up lol, I have been working in the Federal Government for almost 4 years, most people never even touch there for work, and I am moving in the ranks and have many outs and chances to transfer into branches such as the FBI, ICE, FAM and others.
As far as me having to grow up lol, I have been working in the Federal Government for almost 4 years, most people never even touch there for work, and I am moving in the ranks and have many outs and chances to transfer into branches such as the FBI, ICE, FAM and others.
It is YOUR life don't have some else tell you how to live it. Get in your own mess don't drag anyone else with it and deal with it yourself and get out of them yourself. You didn't needed your mom to get in the loan for cheaper insurance. I have my wife under my insurance and she is not on the registration or the loan. now that you are married you dragged your wife into this too.
Last edited by hondasr4kids; 04-06-2006 at 10:59 PM.
04-06-2006, 11:02 PM
#65
Insanely Yellow
Originally Posted by Ike
Says the girl that lives with her crazy stepfather and mom in a trailer park at the age of 25 and works a claimed 80 hours a week to afford a car that doesn't even have a parking spot at her residence. Lets not forget you considered becoming a prostitute about a month ago in order to pay for bills, yet you went out and bought a 33 thousand dollar car.
You both did some stupid things, but on the dumbness scale you kick his ***. At least it sounds like he's trying to get out on his own and grow up.
People in glass houses...
You both did some stupid things, but on the dumbness scale you kick his ***. At least it sounds like he's trying to get out on his own and grow up.
People in glass houses...
Last edited by StewC625; 04-06-2006 at 11:09 PM.
04-06-2006, 11:19 PM
#67
I'm failry confident if BunnyGirl was BunnyGuy, everyone would be jumping on the Ike Train. Whooo Whooo. He makes valid points. I would have said the same things if I hadn't stopped reading her posts long ago. That Prosti business is unreal. I have to find those posts.
As far as sugar coating things, if you don't like the taste of your own reality, too bad, so sad.
As far as sugar coating things, if you don't like the taste of your own reality, too bad, so sad.
Last edited by BlueEyes; 04-06-2006 at 11:23 PM.
04-06-2006, 11:21 PM
#68
Sorry after reading all these ... allow me to say something.
In Short : You're such an idiot, period.
Full Version : I mean, you're 23 now, worked in government for 4 yrs? so you started at 19 ? In THAT case. shouldnt you have "more than enough" money to get a 33K car? and what I saw was "I need my mom to get lower insurance" "I need my mom to get lower APR" ???
WTF dude? Working in Government doesnt mean **** to me. You can work as a librarian and still claim as working in a government. Im 25 and trust me I've dealt with alot of "FBI/CIA/WHATEVER" people from different level. and some of them, like hondasr4kids said. Could be so cool that you want to broke back mountain with them, or dumb as **** that you want to stab them in their face. Transfer to FBI wow whatever.
AT least now you've learned. and I suggest that. She's still your mom, no matter how "crazy/psycho" she is,still your mommy who gave you your Soon-to-be-FBI-Life AND she cares about you (Maybe over the limit, but ahh).
Claim your Soon to be FBI-*** down. and try to talk to her. IF nothing works. do as Mazda told you.
I think you should worry more about the relationship between you and your mom than the Black RX8
In Short : You're such an idiot, period.
Full Version : I mean, you're 23 now, worked in government for 4 yrs? so you started at 19 ? In THAT case. shouldnt you have "more than enough" money to get a 33K car? and what I saw was "I need my mom to get lower insurance" "I need my mom to get lower APR" ???
WTF dude? Working in Government doesnt mean **** to me. You can work as a librarian and still claim as working in a government. Im 25 and trust me I've dealt with alot of "FBI/CIA/WHATEVER" people from different level. and some of them, like hondasr4kids said. Could be so cool that you want to broke back mountain with them, or dumb as **** that you want to stab them in their face. Transfer to FBI wow whatever.
AT least now you've learned. and I suggest that. She's still your mom, no matter how "crazy/psycho" she is,still your mommy who gave you your Soon-to-be-FBI-Life AND she cares about you (Maybe over the limit, but ahh).
Claim your Soon to be FBI-*** down. and try to talk to her. IF nothing works. do as Mazda told you.
I think you should worry more about the relationship between you and your mom than the Black RX8
04-06-2006, 11:44 PM
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Originally Posted by nycgps
Sorry after reading all these ... allow me to say something.
In Short : You're such an idiot, period.
Full Version : I mean, you're 23 now, worked in government for 4 yrs? so you started at 19 ? In THAT case. shouldnt you have "more than enough" money to get a 33K car? and what I saw was "I need my mom to get lower insurance" "I need my mom to get lower APR" ???
WTF dude? Working in Government doesnt mean **** to me. You can work as a librarian and still claim as working in a government. Im 25 and trust me I've dealt with alot of "FBI/CIA/WHATEVER" people from different level. and some of them, like hondasr4kids said. Could be so cool that you want to broke back mountain with them, or dumb as **** that you want to stab them in their face. Transfer to FBI wow whatever.
AT least now you've learned. and I suggest that. She's still your mom, no matter how "crazy/psycho" she is,still your mommy who gave you your Soon-to-be-FBI-Life AND she cares about you (Maybe over the limit, but ahh).
Claim your Soon to be FBI-*** down. and try to talk to her. IF nothing works. do as Mazda told you.
I think you should worry more about the relationship between you and your mom than the Black RX8
In Short : You're such an idiot, period.
Full Version : I mean, you're 23 now, worked in government for 4 yrs? so you started at 19 ? In THAT case. shouldnt you have "more than enough" money to get a 33K car? and what I saw was "I need my mom to get lower insurance" "I need my mom to get lower APR" ???
WTF dude? Working in Government doesnt mean **** to me. You can work as a librarian and still claim as working in a government. Im 25 and trust me I've dealt with alot of "FBI/CIA/WHATEVER" people from different level. and some of them, like hondasr4kids said. Could be so cool that you want to broke back mountain with them, or dumb as **** that you want to stab them in their face. Transfer to FBI wow whatever.
AT least now you've learned. and I suggest that. She's still your mom, no matter how "crazy/psycho" she is,still your mommy who gave you your Soon-to-be-FBI-Life AND she cares about you (Maybe over the limit, but ahh).
Claim your Soon to be FBI-*** down. and try to talk to her. IF nothing works. do as Mazda told you.
I think you should worry more about the relationship between you and your mom than the Black RX8
Maybe you should start trying to understand people's problems rather than ridiculing them. You should also have more respect for people defending this country. If he was working as a librarian I don't think he'd try to sugar coat it like that.
There's probably more to the story than he's disclosing. He just wants to know how to get it back. The rest is HIS business. If he's willing to give a little personal info, people need to respond in a mature manner. He's obviously not going to tell every detail of the story.
How have you dealt with FBI,...etc? Are you a janitor at the FBI building in NYC? Please elaborate.
You sound like a punk kid.
The way you responded makes you sound like you're the one who's an IDIOT.
As for IKE bashing Bunnygirl.
I realize you've been on this forum for a long time but that doesn't give you the right to insult her for things she's done in the past. She put some of her deepest private problems out for everyone to see and maybe she was better off not doing that. BUT she probably did that under the pretense that people like you wouldn't make fun.
If she wants to live in a trailer and drive a sweet ride then that's her decision. Just because your priorities don't match hers doesn't give you the right to tell her that she's inferior.
Everybody has done things in the past that they regret. Some people have done things that seem to be horrible and even idiotic to others. I notice that many people on this forum and most other forums are very immature and inconsiderate of other people's problems.
Ike, does insulting Bunnygirl make you feel better about yourself? Are you mad at her for something? Did she **** in your Cheerios? What's the deal? I think you were way too harsh. She probably has enough people giving her **** in her life without the people on the forum doing it too.
You have over 5,000 posts? Looks like you got a little too much time on your hands for a 31 year old. Maybe you should take up another job instead of trying to make people feel bad about themselves.
Last edited by born2drive; 04-07-2006 at 12:48 AM.
04-07-2006, 12:20 AM
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wow - lots of **** flying in this thread.
I will generally agree that your whole situation is fucked up. My first advice would be to grow some ***** and put a stop to the mail opening thing. I just got outta college last may and my work sitation had it for a while where my bank statements would come to my parents house (even though I didn't live there - I was living in hotels (still am) ) anyway, one day im just chatting with my mom (we all have a very good relationship and she goes: "you sure are spending a lot of money at outback steakhouse" and im like WTF - you opened my bank statement, you BITCH!
my mom is generally nosey, and I know she doenst mean it in a bad way but mothers never seem to want to let go of their kids. Too damn bad, I got my statement done 100% electronically (along with everything else)
Depending on how psycho your mom is, try the adult route first, you know, the sit down calm discussion about what both parties want and try to come to a resolution. If you have the money to make the monthly payments and re-imburse your mom for the down payment etc etc... if she's logical she will give you the car back and let you continue paying on it like a normal person would. Now I can understnd her taking it away if you arent paying for it, being late with money, etc etc.
I hope you get your car back, but i damn sure hope you learned a BIG lesson here. Thats why I'm very wary of doing (major)business with family members, even though we all get along great you never know what could happen.
Oh and bunnygirl, did you really consider prostitution a ways back? I'm sorry you hit a point where you actually considered it. On the act itself I have no problems with... it is the worlds oldest profession. I'm 24 and painfully-single and havent had sex in over a year and find myself thinking "hmmm only 200 dollars". But i've never paid for it and never will. The problem I have with it is the general "bad" things that go along with it (drugs, violence, and the STD part)
I will generally agree that your whole situation is fucked up. My first advice would be to grow some ***** and put a stop to the mail opening thing. I just got outta college last may and my work sitation had it for a while where my bank statements would come to my parents house (even though I didn't live there - I was living in hotels (still am) ) anyway, one day im just chatting with my mom (we all have a very good relationship and she goes: "you sure are spending a lot of money at outback steakhouse" and im like WTF - you opened my bank statement, you BITCH!
my mom is generally nosey, and I know she doenst mean it in a bad way but mothers never seem to want to let go of their kids. Too damn bad, I got my statement done 100% electronically (along with everything else)
Depending on how psycho your mom is, try the adult route first, you know, the sit down calm discussion about what both parties want and try to come to a resolution. If you have the money to make the monthly payments and re-imburse your mom for the down payment etc etc... if she's logical she will give you the car back and let you continue paying on it like a normal person would. Now I can understnd her taking it away if you arent paying for it, being late with money, etc etc.
I hope you get your car back, but i damn sure hope you learned a BIG lesson here. Thats why I'm very wary of doing (major)business with family members, even though we all get along great you never know what could happen.
Oh and bunnygirl, did you really consider prostitution a ways back? I'm sorry you hit a point where you actually considered it. On the act itself I have no problems with... it is the worlds oldest profession. I'm 24 and painfully-single and havent had sex in over a year and find myself thinking "hmmm only 200 dollars". But i've never paid for it and never will. The problem I have with it is the general "bad" things that go along with it (drugs, violence, and the STD part)
04-07-2006, 12:59 AM
#71
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OK....
So this thread's gotten way off track here. Maybe it's just the fact that I have a raging case of pnuemonia, or maybe not; either way, allow me to remind everyone about the rules regarding personal attacks. Don't know where to find them? HERE.
Can we please get this thread back on track?
So this thread's gotten way off track here. Maybe it's just the fact that I have a raging case of pnuemonia, or maybe not; either way, allow me to remind everyone about the rules regarding personal attacks. Don't know where to find them? HERE.
Can we please get this thread back on track?
04-07-2006, 01:06 AM
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bunny girl might not have made bright decisions, please cut her some break.. shes been through some crazy ****, such as having a miscariage etc. we can be more constructive by guiding her toward the right path rather than flaming her.
04-07-2006, 04:02 AM
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I just think that people should focus on the positive rather than the negative.
Instead of asking, "What has this person done wrong?" People should start asking, "What has this person done right?" How has this person improved his/her life and the lives of people around him/her? Most of the time the positive's will out weigh the negatives.
Instead of asking, "What has this person done wrong?" People should start asking, "What has this person done right?" How has this person improved his/her life and the lives of people around him/her? Most of the time the positive's will out weigh the negatives.
04-07-2006, 04:55 AM
#75
The Professor
I think its hilarious that your mom is completely up in your buisness and then you want to push her out of your life and she gets mad.
As said before there really is no way to "take" it back as you are implying. You can ask for it back from her but its in her hands now. Even if you did stop making payments assuming you are actually making payments and you mom isn't completely buying your car for you. Your mom could sell it and close the loan pretty easily. In which case the car would be gone. Just be nice, admit to your mom you were wrong in hiding your marriage from her and maybe she will forgive you for hurting her emotionally.
One of my cousins actually was living with his parents and did pretty much the same behind the back marriage thing, but he had tons of education and was pulling in $120k-ish a year so when his parents got pissed he just moved out and bought a house much bigger than theirs. But this is nowhere near the case with you, your mom has you completely by the *****. Apologise I think your mom deserves it for all she obviously does for you.
PS- as said government jobs dont really mean jack, when you said you were 19 with a job capable of being transfered around easily between branches and still living with the parents the first thing I thought was janitor.
PPS- "If she wants to live in a trailer and drive a sweet ride then that's her decision." I believe the scientific term for that is "ghetto fabulous"
As said before there really is no way to "take" it back as you are implying. You can ask for it back from her but its in her hands now. Even if you did stop making payments assuming you are actually making payments and you mom isn't completely buying your car for you. Your mom could sell it and close the loan pretty easily. In which case the car would be gone. Just be nice, admit to your mom you were wrong in hiding your marriage from her and maybe she will forgive you for hurting her emotionally.
One of my cousins actually was living with his parents and did pretty much the same behind the back marriage thing, but he had tons of education and was pulling in $120k-ish a year so when his parents got pissed he just moved out and bought a house much bigger than theirs. But this is nowhere near the case with you, your mom has you completely by the *****. Apologise I think your mom deserves it for all she obviously does for you.
PS- as said government jobs dont really mean jack, when you said you were 19 with a job capable of being transfered around easily between branches and still living with the parents the first thing I thought was janitor.
PPS- "If she wants to live in a trailer and drive a sweet ride then that's her decision." I believe the scientific term for that is "ghetto fabulous"