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Help me get my car back :-(

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Old 04-06-2006, 03:42 AM
  #26  
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It doesn't really matter, but I'm 23, the loan was made in her name, because I never purchased a car really, and she fronted me the down payment. I didn't know about things like co signing and stuff. Now I do, my mistake.

She didn't really take my car, I had it, she called and said if it wasn't back by 6pm she was calling it in stolen.

Why? I got married secretly behind her back (it was going to be a secret to everyone for a while, but shes a very nosey person and opens my mail and saw a paper about the license). So it led to her changing the locks before I could get off from work, me breaking in through my window and raiding it to get my stuff out before she got home.

Then she went and emptied my bank account (her name was on that too), so lesson learned, you think your parent is doing a good helping thing with names on things, but it can tie you in a knot real quick.

So, I had no money, no car, and no place to live. But I straigtend everything out but the car.

So, like I said, should I get a loan and pay off the remaining balance on my 05, or say eff them, let them keep it and worry about it, and go buy a 2006?
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Old 04-06-2006, 04:00 AM
  #27  
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Originally Posted by Acclaim99
It doesn't really matter, but I'm 23, the loan was made in her name, because I never purchased a car really, and she fronted me the down payment. I didn't know about things like co signing and stuff. Now I do, my mistake.

She didn't really take my car, I had it, she called and said if it wasn't back by 6pm she was calling it in stolen.

Why? I got married secretly behind her back (it was going to be a secret to everyone for a while, but shes a very nosey person and opens my mail and saw a paper about the license). So it led to her changing the locks before I could get off from work, me breaking in through my window and raiding it to get my stuff out before she got home.

Then she went and emptied my bank account (her name was on that too), so lesson learned, you think your parent is doing a good helping thing with names on things, but it can tie you in a knot real quick.

So, I had no money, no car, and no place to live. But I straigtend everything out but the car.

So, like I said, should I get a loan and pay off the remaining balance on my 05, or say eff them, let them keep it and worry about it, and go buy a 2006?
That makes things a little more clear, you're 23, you live at home with your mom, and you ran off and got married behind her back. Sounds like you have some serious growing up to do. Has your mother helped pay for you car in any way, and why in the hell was she on your bank account in the first place? You sound like my 19 year old nephew, his mother is always in his business, but he allows her to be, he also lets it happen because he relies on her for handouts.
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Old 04-06-2006, 05:45 AM
  #28  
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Originally Posted by Acclaim99
It doesn't really matter, but I'm 23, the loan was made in her name, because I never purchased a car really, and she fronted me the down payment. I didn't know about things like co signing and stuff. Now I do, my mistake.

She didn't really take my car, I had it, she called and said if it wasn't back by 6pm she was calling it in stolen.

Why? I got married secretly behind her back (it was going to be a secret to everyone for a while, but shes a very nosey person and opens my mail and saw a paper about the license). So it led to her changing the locks before I could get off from work, me breaking in through my window and raiding it to get my stuff out before she got home.

Then she went and emptied my bank account (her name was on that too), so lesson learned, you think your parent is doing a good helping thing with names on things, but it can tie you in a knot real quick.

So, I had no money, no car, and no place to live. But I straigtend everything out but the car.

So, like I said, should I get a loan and pay off the remaining balance on my 05, or say eff them, let them keep it and worry about it, and go buy a 2006?
Are you and your wife now going to live with your mother as well? Perhaps instead of buying another $30k car, you should think about getting your own home.
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Old 04-06-2006, 06:05 AM
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No, see you guys know nothing about me or whats going on so don't try to sound like you do. We were moving out that week anyway... and we already have a place together now, if you read any of my other messages, I said getting back my car is the last step, meaning everything else has been taken care of.

What happend was a psycho over controlling person started/knew she was losing her ability to snoop throughout my room, check my comp, open my mail, etc. and she went psycho.

Now, back on topic, the rx8.
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Old 04-06-2006, 07:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Acclaim99
No, see you guys know nothing about me or whats going on so don't try to sound like you do. We were moving out that week anyway... and we already have a place together now, if you read any of my other messages, I said getting back my car is the last step, meaning everything else has been taken care of.

What happend was a psycho over controlling person started/knew she was losing her ability to snoop throughout my room, check my comp, open my mail, etc. and she went psycho.

Now, back on topic, the rx8.
Yea, you are right, we don't know everything about you. You came here for help and only gave us part of the story. You expected an intelligent answer when we weren't given all the facts. Plus, you need a thick skin when asking for help from strangers on a internet site about personal problems. You are bound to hear things said about you that you will not like.

Last edited by alnielsen; 04-06-2006 at 07:37 AM.
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Old 04-06-2006, 07:49 AM
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If you can somehow get your name off the title/loan of this RX-8, then that would leave it completely in your mom's hands to pay for and take care of, you are free of the car. That is your best option right now, then if you can get a care on your own do it that way.

The way your mom is acting from what you have told us, tells me you need to be free of that car all together and let her figure out how she is going to pay for it when you aren't a partical owner anylonger.
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Old 04-06-2006, 07:54 AM
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That's the thing that sucks, I've been calling them all week, they all keep telling me that they "generally don't take names off loans or titles".

They haven't offered any suggestions on a way to do that or anything. They only say fill out this paper, it doesn't take any names off it, but it switches the primary and cosigner, last thing I want to do is get a loan and pay for something that isnt even in my name.
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Old 04-06-2006, 08:56 AM
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Ok, so I talked to a buddy that had a similar experience and here is what he said.

Your mom cannot report that you stole the car if you are on the TITLE, but if you are not on the title then she can. Now, I am not sure how you are cosigned, but you can cosign the loan and not be on the title or you can cosign and be on the title as well, basically being a part owner. If you are on the title you have as much rights to the car as your mom, no matter if she is the primary or not.

Now, to get out of the loan and off the title (if you are on there) you have to have them agree to it as well, and the car has to be refinanced for just the person that is going to own it on thier own, so my earlier thought of you just sticking it to your mom by sneaking off the loan and/or title will not work, she has to agree to it.

The only other way to rid yourself of the car all together is to just stop paying for it, but I really do not suggest this as your credit would probably go to **** very fast doing this.

Finally, my personal thoughts, if you can't buy something on your own then you shouldn't buy it, whatever it might be. I know it is your mom and we should all trust and think our moms wouldn't do something like this, but you never know, and apparently knowing how "pyscho" your mom has been, you really should have known better than to get in something like this. Also, get all money that has her name on the account out and moved to an account just for you. Good luck.
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Old 04-06-2006, 09:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Acclaim99
It doesn't really matter, but I'm 23, the loan was made in her name, because I never purchased a car really, and she fronted me the down payment. I didn't know about things like co signing and stuff. Now I do, my mistake.

She didn't really take my car, I had it, she called and said if it wasn't back by 6pm she was calling it in stolen.

Why? I got married secretly behind her back (it was going to be a secret to everyone for a while, but shes a very nosey person and opens my mail and saw a paper about the license). So it led to her changing the locks before I could get off from work, me breaking in through my window and raiding it to get my stuff out before she got home.

Then she went and emptied my bank account (her name was on that too), so lesson learned, you think your parent is doing a good helping thing with names on things, but it can tie you in a knot real quick.

So, I had no money, no car, and no place to live. But I straigtend everything out but the car.

So, like I said, should I get a loan and pay off the remaining balance on my 05, or say eff them, let them keep it and worry about it, and go buy a 2006?
I swear I just saw this story on Jerry Springer ... or was it Maury Povich? How about Montel Williams?

Naw, had to be Jerry Springer.

Damn, this sounds like a country western song being written!
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Old 04-06-2006, 09:10 AM
  #35  
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Hmm can you afford a laywer? Now I know taking your mom to court may not be the "nice, son like thing" to do, but look at what she did to you. Also opening up other people's mail is a federal offense I believe. Going through a laywer is just so much more peaceful but then again it has its downsides like almost everything in this world does. Yup I'm a criminal justice major if you couldn't tell
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Old 04-06-2006, 11:47 AM
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Originally Posted by ndtechie09
Hmm can you afford a laywer? Now I know taking your mom to court may not be the "nice, son like thing" to do, but look at what she did to you. Also opening up other people's mail is a federal offense I believe. Going through a laywer is just so much more peaceful but then again it has its downsides like almost everything in this world does. Yup I'm a criminal justice major if you couldn't tell

yeah, I'm kinda thinking the same thing- Lawyers can make things ugly, but sounds like this situation can't get much uglier than it already is. I think you guys are being way to hard on him.
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Old 04-06-2006, 12:09 PM
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I don't think you can involve a lawyer, wouldn't registering it under her name only to get lower insurance be considered insurance fraud?

The good thing about this is it's your MOM. I'm sure this "psycho" behavior of hers probably has some backing in past issues. Sounds like you two need to work on the trust issue before you can worry about getting your car back. Why don't you approach this as an adult, propose a sit-down and work things out as adults do without yelling or threats or the like.

It just may be that she's trying to save you from yourself, and if you put her at ease, she will probably work with you to get you into a good situation for your finances.

Parents who snoop and act psycho have *usually* been pushed to that extreme. Take the reigns and show her you're an adult and she'll prolly come around.
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Old 04-06-2006, 12:31 PM
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I remember when i purchase my first car i had my dad co sign but he was never on the title so i dont now how shes showing up... another thing theres nothing wrong with letting your mom or dad co sign some people dont have that luck some parent will not do it take it as a way to learn and build your credit when you dont have one.
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Old 04-06-2006, 12:41 PM
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Holy carp! Mom was on your bank account as well?

You may want to try these....they're used to cut the umbilical cord.

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Old 04-06-2006, 12:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Red_X8
I'd leave them with the car and go get another one.
+1, you might even end up saving more money considering how cheap rx8s are these days.
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Old 04-06-2006, 12:54 PM
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I think this is pretty funny, actually. Your mother put up the down payment on "your" car and took out the loan for "your" car and had "her" name put on the title. Sorry, but that's her car. You thought this was a good idea because you couldn't get this on your own and then you were looking for cheap insurance on it by using her again. Clearly you shouldn't have this car if you had to take all those steps to get it and pay for it. Meanwhile, you are 23 and she is still listed on your bank account where she can access your money? That's pretty dumb.
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Old 04-06-2006, 02:05 PM
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Brice, both names are on the title. But, I was talking to our police, they said she can report it stolen, and since her name is on the vehicle registration, I would get arrested. Called Mazda again lol, they did say the best thing to do was to get a loan and pay them off, then the title would be in my name only. My parents agreed to this happening already, going tomorrow morning to look into it. I won't get my low 4.9% :-(. I have perfect credit and like you said, don't want it to turn to ****.

Ndtechie, trust me I looked into the mail opening thing hehe.

Thanks, Raz.... I was trying that for the last 5 years though.

playdoh, trust me, if I could leave them with the car I would gladly move onto a 06, but with my name being on the credit (and I have perfect credit, not a single 30 day/60/90 day lateness, etc.), I don't want them to not pay it and have it effect me.

Bunny... I guess, at least I know how the process of buying a car and what to watch out for :-\. And she isnt on my acct anymore, when we moved here she was with me when I opened the acct up, and I never thought about/bothered to take her name off. Didn't think she'd sink that low, but meh.
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Old 04-06-2006, 02:13 PM
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I had a cosign (dad) as well b/c it saved me ~3% apr. When I signed the dealer asked if both names should be on the title . . . I hope you were paying attention when signing.

Originally Posted by Acclaim99
they all keep telling me that they "generally don't take names off loans or titles". They haven't offered any suggestions on a way to do that or anything.
If the dealership actually used this phrasing, push a little more. The translation is probably something like this: "generally this is way to much hassle for us what w/all the paperwork, and we've already completed the sale. So leave us the hell alone & give us the $$$$$"

Tough deal. Good luck with the car. And better luck w/the marriage. Sounds like you and the new Mrs. will need huge amounts of patience to get back to good faith.
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Old 04-06-2006, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted by BunnyGirl
I think this is pretty funny, actually. Your mother put up the down payment on "your" car and took out the loan for "your" car and had "her" name put on the title. Sorry, but that's her car. You thought this was a good idea because you couldn't get this on your own and then you were looking for cheap insurance on it by using her again. Clearly you shouldn't have this car if you had to take all those steps to get it and pay for it. Meanwhile, you are 23 and she is still listed on your bank account where she can access your money? That's pretty dumb.
Says the girl that lives with her crazy stepfather and mom in a trailer park at the age of 25 and works a claimed 80 hours a week to afford a car that doesn't even have a parking spot at her residence. Lets not forget you considered becoming a prostitute about a month ago in order to pay for bills, yet you went out and bought a 33 thousand dollar car.

You both did some stupid things, but on the dumbness scale you kick his ***. At least it sounds like he's trying to get out on his own and grow up.



People in glass houses...
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Old 04-06-2006, 02:57 PM
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Nobody helped me buy my car or take out my loan and nobody pays my bills for me either. I split all rent and utilities three ways, like having a roommate. Besides, I "pre-purchased" my car before I had the financial issue with my first job restructuring. I then got my second job before my car came and am making more money now with the two jobs together. Two full time jobs pays medical bills, because it is certainly far more responsible to pay your debts than it is to file bankruptcy on them, otherwise you would be stealing. Sneaking off and getting married is not "growing up," particularly since he said they wanted to keep it a "secret" for awhile. Sorry but I can't think of any good reason why adults need to hide their marriage from their family.

You may not like or agree with my choices, how I live, et cetera, but I guess we can't all be as perfect as you.
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Old 04-06-2006, 03:13 PM
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Old 04-06-2006, 03:27 PM
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Awwww. I love hugs.
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Old 04-06-2006, 03:48 PM
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Originally Posted by BunnyGirl
Nobody helped me buy my car or take out my loan and nobody pays my bills for me either. I split all rent and utilities three ways, like having a roommate. Besides, I "pre-purchased" my car before I had the financial issue with my first job restructuring. I then got my second job before my car came and am making more money now with the two jobs together. Two full time jobs pays medical bills, because it is certainly far more responsible to pay your debts than it is to file bankruptcy on them, otherwise you would be stealing. Sneaking off and getting married is not "growing up," particularly since he said they wanted to keep it a "secret" for awhile. Sorry but I can't think of any good reason why adults need to hide their marriage from their family.

You may not like or agree with my choices, how I live, et cetera, but I guess we can't all be as perfect as you.
I'm not anywhere near perfect. I agree with you that he needs to grow up, I said it in this thread before you did. He's not the only one that needs to grow up and made some dumb decisions. My mortgage is twice what I was paying in rent a year ago, I could have been driving an M5 or a 911 and kept paying rent rather than buy a house, but that would have been DUMB. It would have been even more dumb if I had bought a new car when I had tons of medical bills and job stability was a question while I was paying rent and living in my parents trailer. Just because you pay your parents $250 a month doesn't make his decisions any more stupid than yours. When your car is worth more than the place you live in there's a problem, especially when you're considering becoming a ***** to pay for said car rather than cancelling the damn order.
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Old 04-06-2006, 03:53 PM
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1. Insurance fraud....BIG TIME!
2. Perfect credit? Then why did you mother have to help you buy the car. You could have just borrowed the money for the down payment and purchased the car yourself.

I hope everything works out and that you learned some valuable lessons. Just from what you said, I have to agree with most on this thread. You probably shouldn't keep the car. If you have to do go through so much trouble to "buy" the car, and so much more work to "buy" the car again, it may not be the best choice to keep the car. I don't know how much money you make, but if you had to do so much just to save money you may not be able to afford it anyway. Especially when you now have many more responsiblities (wife, rent)

Just some things to think about.
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Old 04-06-2006, 03:57 PM
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This thread rocks.
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