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Merry Christmas, and A Happy New Year !

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Old Dec 24, 2005 | 10:47 AM
  #1  
Pete's Avatar
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From: Toronto
Merry Christmas, and A Happy New Year !

Wishing you all the best this holiday season.
Enjoy your company with one another and be safe.


Christmas Rules:



1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum *****.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like in single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards!!!!!!!!!!!!

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. ENJOY!
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Old Dec 24, 2005 | 01:13 PM
  #2  
spd frk's Avatar
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Joined: Aug 2005
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From: Stouffville
Good Rules. Merry Christmas to everyone.
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Old Dec 24, 2005 | 01:58 PM
  #3  
BlueFrenzy's Avatar
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,618
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From: Calgary, AB
EXCELLENT rules! Mmmm ... eggnog. Have a good holiday y'all
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Old Dec 24, 2005 | 02:27 PM
  #4  
Neo's Avatar
Neo
I am The One!
 
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,754
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From: Aurora, ont
Pete, how many of those rules are you going to follow???

Merry Xmas everyone!!!

Lates,
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Old Dec 25, 2005 | 08:19 AM
  #5  
apaul's Avatar
Always like this
 
Joined: May 2004
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From: Free ice scraper with every speeding ticket
And best of the season to you, Pete, and all.
Here's the link to a really pretty and fun Christmas holiday e-greeting:

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcar...ode=ER13610552
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Old Dec 25, 2005 | 03:54 PM
  #6  
hobbes's Avatar
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 627
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From: Richmond Hill, Ontario
Merry X-mas to all, and to all a safe drive.
________
Honda Z history

Last edited by hobbes; Mar 3, 2011 at 02:56 AM.
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Old Dec 26, 2005 | 01:49 AM
  #7  
HELAS's Avatar
Kal-El Is The One
 
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 745
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From: Brampton. Ontario
Merry Christmas to all and to all alot of Jack Daneiles.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year. Lets be safe everyone. All the best
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Old Dec 26, 2005 | 08:45 AM
  #8  
Gohan's Avatar
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 146
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From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
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