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My rx8 Poem

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Old Mar 4, 2008 | 05:04 PM
  #1  
dshiznit1489's Avatar
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My rx8 Poem

Please give me your feedback, and any ideas. This poem has to be abot 150 words long, it's only 118 right now! HAALP!


Rotor Head

My idea of a symphony;
Two rotors playing the tune my right foot tells them too.
They spin with swift might,
And fill feeble pistons with panicking fright.
When I stop at the red light,
I rev my engine to it utmost height.
The light turns green,
My wheels begin to uncontrollably scream.
The screeching music fills my ears as we slip,
My heart pounds, as my tires are looking for grip.
The endless power of my Wankel can be heard from afar,
People hear it and gaze out the windows of their car.
Testosterone on wheels,
Wheels which hold up an engine with apex seals.
No symphony sounds as great,
As the one played by my RX-8.

- Dshiznit1489

if you steal my poem, i will kill you.

that is all.
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Old Mar 4, 2008 | 05:10 PM
  #2  
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From: Mineola, TX
Looking good so far. I'm no poet (at least when I'm sober) so I can't help you there...
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Old Mar 4, 2008 | 05:22 PM
  #3  
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From: New Jersey
hey my uncles a doctor in CO, DR. Joshi. Maybe youve heard of him.
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Old Mar 4, 2008 | 05:27 PM
  #4  
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I like it!
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Old Mar 4, 2008 | 05:39 PM
  #5  
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you need to put something in there about either:

- you've heard rumors that these cars can flood
but not your car, because your car is a Stud.

OR

who would have thought I'd have a piece of heaven
and not even have to buy a Mazda RX-7.

I don't know; just stuff off the top ofmy head.
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Old Mar 4, 2008 | 05:56 PM
  #6  
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From: Joplin, MO
Originally Posted by Jedi54
you need to put something in there about either:

- you've heard rumors that these cars can flood
but not your car, because your car is a Stud.

OR

who would have thought I'd have a piece of heaven
and not even have to buy a Mazda RX-7.


I don't know; just stuff off the top ofmy head.
I like
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Old Mar 4, 2008 | 05:57 PM
  #7  
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From: New Jersey
I like em both Jedi! Permission to use in my poem?
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Old Mar 4, 2008 | 05:58 PM
  #8  
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Permission granted
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Old Mar 4, 2008 | 06:02 PM
  #9  
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From: New Jersey
thanks man!
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Old Mar 4, 2008 | 10:34 PM
  #10  
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From: New Jersey
any other opinions?
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Old Mar 4, 2008 | 10:35 PM
  #11  
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From: Cali
Sound like you need to get back to work.
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Old Mar 5, 2008 | 12:11 PM
  #12  
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Originally Posted by Dshiznit1489
hey my uncles a doctor in CO, DR. Joshi. Maybe youve heard of him.
Dr. J. Joshi on Union Blvd, Colorado Springs?
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Old Mar 5, 2008 | 12:20 PM
  #13  
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shiznit: update on poem?
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Old Mar 5, 2008 | 12:22 PM
  #14  
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From: Worcester, MA
I want a rotor rotor rotor
For my motor motor motor
If you wontor wontor wontor
Then I'll kill you
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Old Mar 5, 2008 | 05:26 PM
  #15  
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From: Bend, OR
Originally Posted by Dshiznit1489


I rev my engine to it utmost height.
make sure you make "it" "it's"
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Old Mar 5, 2008 | 09:35 PM
  #16  
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Mu ha.. ha...
 
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From: Cali
I rev my enine to it's utmost height
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Old Mar 5, 2008 | 10:51 PM
  #17  
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From: Vegas Baby!
Originally Posted by Dshiznit1489
Please give me your feedback, and any ideas. This poem has to be abot 150 words long, it's only 118 right now! HAALP!


Rotor Head

My idea of a symphony;
Two rotors playing the tune my right foot tells them too.
They spin with swift might,
And fill feeble pistons with panicking fright.
When I stop at the red light,
I rev my engine to it utmost height.
The light turns green,
My wheels begin to uncontrollably scream.
The screeching music fills my ears as we slip,
My heart pounds, as my tires are looking for grip.
The endless power of my Wankel can be heard from afar,
People hear it and gaze out the windows of their car.
Testosterone on wheels,
Wheels which hold up an engine with apex seals.
No symphony sounds as great,
As the one played by my RX-8.

- Dshiznit1489

if you steal my poem, i will kill you.

that is all.
This one is my Poem/riddle
To be, or not to be? that is the next RX-7
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Old Mar 5, 2008 | 10:58 PM
  #18  
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From: jersey, BITCH
Originally Posted by Ross_Dawg
make sure you make "it" "it's"
yeah it's "its" with no apostrophe
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Old Mar 5, 2008 | 11:38 PM
  #19  
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From: Vegas Baby!
Apostrophe's rule!
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Old May 6, 2008 | 05:55 PM
  #20  
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From: New Jersey
Originally Posted by JRichter
Dr. J. Joshi on Union Blvd, Colorado Springs?
Yea thats him!!!


Originally Posted by Jedi54
shiznit: update on poem?
I got 100% on it. She loved how creative it was, blah blah blah, she had no idea what I was talking about, but gave me an A+ anyway.

win!
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Old May 6, 2008 | 06:03 PM
  #21  
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chalk up another point for the good guys.
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