Classic fable - Canadian version
04-04-2005, 10:11 AM
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Mentalhealth is overrated
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Classic fable - Canadian version
THE CLASSIC VERSION OF THIS FABLE - (THE ONE THAT MAKES SENSE TO US!)
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool,
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is
warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he
dies out in the cold.
THE CANADIAN MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool,
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is
warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others less fortunate like him are cold and starving. CBC shows up to
provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of
the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food.
Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The New
Democratic Party, the Canadian Auto Workers and the Coalition Against
Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an
Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavat with breaking news, broadcasts
them singing "We Shall Overcome." Svend Robinson rants in an interview with
Pamela Wallin that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers,
and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair
share." In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic
Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning
of the summer. The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for
failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both
the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by
the government. The ant moves to the US and starts a successful agribiz
company. The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last
of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the government
house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house crumbles around
him because he hadn't maintained it. Inadequate government funding is
blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will
cost $10,000,000. The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose. The
Toronto Star blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root
causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken
over by a gang of migrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching
Canada's multicultural diversity, who promptly terrorize the community.
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool,
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is
warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he
dies out in the cold.
THE CANADIAN MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool,
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is
warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others less fortunate like him are cold and starving. CBC shows up to
provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of
the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food.
Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The New
Democratic Party, the Canadian Auto Workers and the Coalition Against
Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an
Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavat with breaking news, broadcasts
them singing "We Shall Overcome." Svend Robinson rants in an interview with
Pamela Wallin that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers,
and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair
share." In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic
Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning
of the summer. The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for
failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both
the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by
the government. The ant moves to the US and starts a successful agribiz
company. The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last
of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the government
house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house crumbles around
him because he hadn't maintained it. Inadequate government funding is
blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will
cost $10,000,000. The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose. The
Toronto Star blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root
causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken
over by a gang of migrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching
Canada's multicultural diversity, who promptly terrorize the community.
I love it, its so true!! 
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