The Wal-Mart Greeter

After landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many
retirees, I lasted less than a day......
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive,
mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling
obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been
instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart.

Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no,they ain't
twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you
think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't
believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping
at Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

 

from www.bash.org

<born1986> why the **** isn't my disc drive working
<born1986> i ******* worked on that essay for three friggin' hours in school
<born1986> i now i cant finish it 'cos my ****** drive ain't working
<Z00ass> you got the right drivers?
<born1986> hell yes
<born1986> it was working fine yesterday
<born1986> why does this **** always happen to me?
<Z00ass> maybe that little clip on the side is i nthe wrong position
<born1986> i havent touched it since school
<born1986> i'm growing impatient
<born1986> ANGRY even
<Z00ass> throw that **** out tha window

. . .

<born1986> OMG i ****** did it!!!
<born1986> ****!!!!!
<Z00ass> it works?
<born1986> no, i threw it out the window
<Z00ass> the disk?
<born1986> NO the whole drive
<born1986> i live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash*
<Z00ass> :D
<born1986> **** **** ****
<born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE
<born1986> brb

. . .

<born1986> ****
<Z00ass> what? did ya break it?
<born1986> well i couldn't open the drive
<born1986> so i had to pound it against a rock
<Z00ass> :o
<born1986> quite HARD
<born1986> and you know what?
<born1986> that ******* disk wasnt even there
<Z00ass> ???
<born1986> i got so mad i threw the remaiders of the drive on to the freeway
<born1986> and when i got back upstairs i foud the disk inside my bag
<Z00ass> lol
<born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE
<born1986> i'm actually cryin right now

. . .

<born1986> wonder if i could make that drive work again
<born1986> brb


gives me a laugh everytime i read it ^_^