WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! I don't even know when this happened. It really pisses me off though. Anyways, most of it can be scratched off although there are some deeper scratches. Whats the best way to deal with this? All help is appreciated...and yea...I know my car is filthy.

 

damn. get a mobile detailer to quote u. maybe they can polish or buff most of it out

 

looks like a paint transfer
paint thinner on a rag will take it right off; you will have to polish and wax the spot after however as the thinner might make the clear coat dull

or rotary buffer with a wool pad and light or medium cutting compound if that doesn't work
if you have no experience with this, you may want to take it to a professional detailer