Fender side marker removal
 

How the hell do they come off? Manual says push rearward and turn clockwise but those bastards don't budge!

Could just be crud buildup. If the lens cover does not budge you can access the back of the side marker housing by removing the wheel liner and reaching behind to push in the holding tabs. Be careful not to break the tabs. Once the housing is out unclip the wire connector. Then do a good cleaning on the housing and you should be able to remove the lens to get access to the bulb.