winter. dead battery. CEL+BAT light after jump
 

I haven't driven for soooo long. Since mid November, after my pole kiss (NOHOMO), the car has been sitting outside my apartment. The winter was record-breaking as far as temps and snowfall go.
Sometime in late Feb I bought a new bumper, fixed it up, and the car started after less than 3 secs of cranking. I drove to the garage, which is like 5 minutes away, and left the car there until 3 days ago. Battery was dead. Not even a click. I had my friend come out to jumpstart it. He drives a 2009 Civic 1.4 and even after 10 minutes of charging with maybe half that time spent revving, my car would only turn over for maybe 2 or 3 seconds.
So, next day I got another friend to come with his Saab 900. We jumped it, revved for a minute and car started right up. But now, every time I turn the key to ON, the CEL and battery lights stay on. When I start the car up, they go away. Normal? Why wasn't the first car able to get it running? Weaker alternator?

IB4CSB

If your battery lite is on it could be your alternator and I wouldn't drive it much at all especially with anything but the ignition on. How old is your battery? Check the battery connections and then the voltage as it's running should be about 14v and just over 12v when off.