It happens

Yes that is what I am saying. Wear to the clutch disc only occures when you are applying torque. No torque is applied when the transmission is in neutral.

Not really. The only time that clutch wear is unavoidable is when you're starting from a stop. The clutch is slipping, and torque is being transmitted.

If you rev match when shifting, there will be very little slippage and hence very little wear. If you re-engage the clutch (take your foot off the pedal) with the transmission in neutral, there's virtually no torque, hence no wear.

The throwout bearing is under no load when the clutch is engaged. It is under load when you step on the clutch. Sitting at a light with the clutch pedal down means you're putting wear on the throwout bearing. Think about how much time you're on the clutch pedal when you start from a stop and shift up through the gears. Ten seconds total? 15 if you're a granny? Sitting at a light for a minute with your foot on the clutch means 4 to 6 times that wear.

Not to mention the mess if your foot slips while juggling that drink at a drive through. ;)

Ken

clutch is wearing is when theres a rotation difference and slipping happpens
when you in neutral, theres almost no resistance on the output shaft, the moment you release the clutch the rotation speed would be instantly the same.

clutch out does spin the tranny and synchros though and you can hear that part. Id rather wear on a throwout bearing than the transmission unnecessarily. Either way though its more personal choice. my 1958 has a 10 year old clutch and a 52 year old 4 speed transmission on it running on a Porsche 2.1L dual carburetor engine.

On a second note. My gf has an RX8 as well, she sits with the clutch out, I sit with the clutch in. We are both around the same mileage with the original clutch and transmissions in our cars. So on the note of if it truly matters or not I would say its personal preference.

I cant do clutch in at lights cuz I have ADD my mind would wonder and I would foget that Im still in gear and let out the clutch stall the car. did that once already.

I could find no mention of this in the annotated vehicle code for the State of New York.
The only thing about "in gear" is the same rule for every state that I'm aware of and that is you cannot "coast" in neutral for more than 500 feet.

Holding the clutch in puts stress on the hydraulic system, release bearing and pressure plate.
Just keep your foot near the pedal and your hand on the shifter. The potential time delay far outweighs the likely dim-witted mistakes that could be made leaving it clutched in gear for a minute or more.

Put brake caliper grease on the pivot where the release cylinder engages the release fork on the upper-left side of the transmission. Problem solved.