new 8 owner, running into problems with my build
 

Hello all! so I just got my rx-8 last month, 2004, 110,000km, manual (of course) and have been looking to increase my mods list and squeeze every last bit of power out of that silky rotary. So so far I have done the Revi intake which has given it a nice induction sound, straight pipe exhaust all the way and coilover suspension.

Heres is where my problems begin... I have been looking for other things to do without going the forced induction route. My friend who is a level 2 apprentice suggested that the engine could use a good port and polishing and that this would allow for really good gains while staying all motor. To me this sounded like a great idea because as I said before I dont want to go the forced induction route. So, we arrange a weekend to do it my buddy says hell bring all the tools necessary and will only take an hour or so to complete. With a bit of skepticism he begins working on the car, all he has is some basic tools in a grocery bag he brought, he unscrews the airbox and opens it up so its just the intake boot running to the engine. After this he tells me to start it up, its running like shit and stalls out, he says to me "hmm exactly what I expected.." He tells me to get back in the car as he is now going to start porting and polishing it, I hear the sound of a chip bag scrunching and see doritos flowing into the intake he tells me "start it and rev it to 10k and hold it there!" The sound i hear is terrible and worrying me... it sounds like a weed wacker trying to chew through rocks, but i still trust he knows what hes doing and after all hes my friend and a tech

We continue this process until hes gone through atleast 5 bags, the end result is that although my engine light is flashing and the cat light is on the dash the car pulls like a fuckin bat out of hell, anyone behind gets left in a cheesy inferno of cool ranch and raw fuel. He told me to keep adding 1 bag per week and to switch from cool ranch in the summer (to keep it cool) and zesty in the winter (to keep the car warm). So ive been doing this since, 1bag/week but yesterday I added about half a bag and the car just shut off... I havnt been able to get it to run since even bump starting doesnt work. I KNOW this is a proven method as my buddy wouldnt lie to me, anyone know what to do next to diagnose this?:scared:

I too am also a new 8 owner and as my first post id like to start off by saying this was a terrible idea, at any point did you not think to use ranch dip? where is the lubrication

new memba as well m8
 

In response to the first post m8 I just wanted to point out a few problems and a couple of missed steps. I did use the same method of port and polishing the integral dorito with some cool ranch or zesty doritos. Depending on climate. I went over to mazda amd consulted a master tech and recieved some vital information. I showed him what has happend to yours and he had a good laugh And proceded to tell me that you have missed the part where you are supposed to adjust the cam lobe rocker timing so no doritos get lodged inbetween major componets. Best way to solv this was to fill the rotors completely with powderd doritos and this can be achieved by using a blend tech blender. Procedure goes as followed.
step 1:blend doritos
step 2:shovel dorito powder into intake runner while revving those integral doritos to 2000-3500 rpm you must do this quite quickly to achieve full stoppage of the engine once it stalls out you must proceed to crank the engine with a 4 foot johnson bar. It might sound awful and crunchy at times but this is indicated as normal. Keep on doing this until you hear a snap or click of some sort thats when you know you have achieved a full polish.
step 3: once complete wash out engine with seafoam and proceed to crank engine. *SLOW CRANK WILL BE PRESENT*
Step 4: once running do a couple of throttle snaps to clear out any residue.
step 5: your all done and ready to race but remember to lubricate often with ranch and plastic explosive mixture for the extra gains..

Umm. just. wow. lol

Many cheesy, much dorito. Very polish, such gains

This... This is fucking hilarious.

If you're going to track it, then mix in Funyuns every other bag.
The fumes will make the other drivers eyes tear up and they won't be able to see well enough to keep up with you.

lol

Any bets on who actually trolled this? We should make it a poll, or just ask RIWWP to tell us who made these dupe accounts for this. My money is on LSX... :suspect:

But either way, congrats, pretty funny. I especially like the cool ranch in summer...

what in the world was this lol..