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Old 08-04-2004, 12:37 PM   #1
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What makes life 100%? FUNNY!

Ever wonder about people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How
about achieving 103%? Here is a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100%?

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:

H A R D W O R K

8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%.

K N O W L E D G E

11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But,

A T T I T U D E

1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

And,

B U L L S H I T

2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, and bullshit will take you over the top.

But look how far *** kissing will take you.

A S S K I S S I N G

1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%.

So the next time someone asks you to give more than 100%, you know what is
required of you.
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Old 08-04-2004, 12:44 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abbid
So the next time someone asks you to give more than 100%, you know what is
required of you.
MEOWLOUD = 108%

COWBELL = 90%

I guess I need to put out more :D :D
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Old 08-04-2004, 12:46 PM   #3
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abbid = 18%

i need alot of A S S K I S S I N G
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Old 08-04-2004, 03:10 PM   #4
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That certainly makes a lot of sense to me! That is the exact reason that I resigned from my position at my restaurant, 4 partners against one but he kissed the most butt so the majority shareholder took his side. I'm Quadrupling his salary now and don't care that much anymore. They got what was coming to them after I left.
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Old 08-04-2004, 03:56 PM   #5
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thats pretty funny.

Do you guys remember Wesley "Two Scoops" Berry from American gladiators back in the day. He won everything and always said he gave 115% or something. I always think of that guy when I hear about >100%
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Old 08-04-2004, 04:02 PM   #6
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2 Scoops!! I watched the re-runs of AG on USA until they finally re-ran them too. He was the man though!
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Old 08-04-2004, 04:03 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meowloud
MEOWLOUD = 108%

COWBELL = 90%

I guess I need to put out more :D :D
I have a fever...
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Old 08-04-2004, 04:15 PM   #8
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kid icarus
11+9+4+9+3+1+18+21+19=95% dam I need more attitude. As for Two Scoops I remember he started at 100% then by the end of the grand champions I think he hit 230%. That guy was comedy.
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Old 08-04-2004, 04:59 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pmacwill
I have a fever...
and the only prescription.. is more COWBELL! :D
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Old 08-04-2004, 05:02 PM   #10
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Don't Fear the Reaper is not even a song without the cowbell!
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Old 08-04-2004, 05:08 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mpt_yellowRX8
Don't Fear the Reaper is not even a song without the cowbell!
Amen! These guys know what we're talking about: http://www.geekspeakweekly.com/cowbell/
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Old 08-04-2004, 05:15 PM   #12
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HAHA! I disagree with them on Time in a Bottle. That is one of the greatest songs ever written, and it means so much more because of Jim's death.
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Old 08-04-2004, 05:21 PM   #13
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"give 110%" - these are the same people who usually want it "done yesterday". Oops, wrong universe - get back on the bus! :p
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Old 08-04-2004, 06:53 PM   #14
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M a g i x P u m a
13 1 7 9 24 16 21 13 1= 105% I always new it was magical see its the extra 5% that gives me that edge
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Old 08-04-2004, 08:34 PM   #15
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wakeech = 23 + 1 + 11 + 5 + 5 + 3 + 8 = 56%

man, i'm such a fuggin' slacker.
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Old 08-04-2004, 08:57 PM   #16
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mpt_yellowrx8 = 13+16+20+_+25+5+12+12+15+18+24(+8)= 160% (168%)

Wakeech, you can take some of mine, I don't need it anymore!
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Old 08-04-2004, 08:57 PM
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