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Location: Free ice scraper with every speeding ticket
Posts: 288
Top Ten Reasons to Live in.... ??
Subject: Top Ten Reasons to Live in Canada
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4. There is always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big Rock between you and BC
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 7 per cent instead of approximately 200 per cent for the rest
of the country.
4. Flames vs. Oilers.
5. Stamps vs. Eskies.
6. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
7. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country .
8. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning.
3. Your province is really easy to draw.
4. You never have to worry about car roll-back if you have standard transmission.
5. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbour's house.
6. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
7. People will assume you live on a farm.
8. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront property.
2. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal government.
3. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
4. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
5. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work.
6. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
7. Because of your licence plate, you are still friendly even when you cut someone off.
8. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. There is no such thing as an Ontario Separatist. Separate from what?
You are the centre of the universe.
5. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
6. Much Music's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a dollar.
> > TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians.
3. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will
move out next.
4. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
5. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *#!%".
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. One way or another, the government gets 98 per cent of your income.
2. You are poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours.
4. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists to Boston.
5. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.
6. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
7. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen.
8. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
2. You are the "only" reason Anne Murray makes money.
3. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and
wear a kilt.
4. The economy is based on lobster and fiddle music.
5. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered
Canada's most beautiful city.
> > TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the
big new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea".
4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from.
5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows.>
6. Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly leave.
7. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates.
9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for that
matter.
10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss dead cod.
3. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products.
4. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
5. You and only you understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics.
6. The workday is about two hours long.
7. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-poweredflashlight and the screen door for submarines.
8. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding
day.Top Ten Reasons to Live in CanadaTop Ten Reasons to Live in.... ??
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__________________
(17 June 2004) Lightning Yellow GT AT c/w Nav, roof, aluminum sill trim plates, Bose sound, shock alarm, 3 M stone guard, 35% sides and rear /20% front extra tint, rear rotary accent, rear licence plate surround, & rear splash flaps.
9. To drive 900 miles and still not be out of state
8. To see high school football stadiums bigger than Wrigley Field
7. To hear people take forever to say good-bye
6. To hear people turn a one syllable word into a three syllable word, like "re-e-all" gude pie!
5. To actually see grown men going to gun and knife shows
4. Where you don't need a toothpick to pick that good sweet corn out of your teeth cause you can't find good sweet corn in Texas.
3. Where people actually have the gall to call their football club "America's Team"
2. To turn on your heater when it falls below 70 degrees, and your air conditioning when it skyrockets to a blistering 72 degrees.
1. To laugh yourself silly watching people drive in 1/8" of snow.
__________________
Jason C. Williams
93 VR RX-7 FD3S (sold), In the market for a new toy.
Politically Correct Members and Mods = PC Patrol.
(Some people on this forum are so PC it’s disgusting.)
Location: Free ice scraper with every speeding ticket
Posts: 288
Good ones! Have been to San Antonio and loved it..spent 3 hours at the Alamo..a truly moving experience...glad I saw the new movie. Didn't know much about Col. Travis , or Texas during the Mexican 'occupation', or even Gen. Santa Ana before.
Col. Bowie and David Crockett ~I knew fairly well. After seeing the show, a friend gave me a really good book, 'The Alamo', but darned if I can remember the writer's name. Tried Amazon.. too many titles..
But as usual, I digress....
I liked when the waitresses took our orders, (same in Atlanta and often in Florida) we said "Thanks," and they replied, "Uh..Huh!" Or, "May we please have more cream when you're coming back?" ..."Thanks!" ..."Uh.. Huh!"
__________________
(17 June 2004) Lightning Yellow GT AT c/w Nav, roof, aluminum sill trim plates, Bose sound, shock alarm, 3 M stone guard, 35% sides and rear /20% front extra tint, rear rotary accent, rear licence plate surround, & rear splash flaps.
10. California's GDP rivals that of most countries.
9. It aint New Jersey.
8. You're a Californian, so you're naturally better than everyone else.
7. Because no good rappers ever came from Wichita, Kansas.
6. Our nuclear power plant look like a pair of *****.
5. In-n-Out Burgers.
4. San Fernando Valley. Porno capitol of the WORLD.
3. You never have to travel outside of California, because the best things in the world are already here.
2. You can finally put those 3 years of Spanish you learned in high school to use.
1. We dont know **** about whats going on in the real world. But we always complain the loudest. But hey, thats ok, cuz we're Californians.
Location: Free ice scraper with every speeding ticket
Posts: 288
3 000 000 Canadian seniors agree, Jason, which is why all we go [or wish we could] to St. Petes, Miami, Lauderdale and Clearwater from November to March. We return only to be replaced by hordes of zonked out teens and families taking over Wally World...Universal..Busch Gardens ...
P.S. It's 86 F in TO today
__________________
(17 June 2004) Lightning Yellow GT AT c/w Nav, roof, aluminum sill trim plates, Bose sound, shock alarm, 3 M stone guard, 35% sides and rear /20% front extra tint, rear rotary accent, rear licence plate surround, & rear splash flaps.
Nope I can't think of anywhere that has more **** industry than Chatsworth, Woodland Hills, Canoga Park, North Hollywood, West Hills, etc. basically all of the San Fernando Valley. I moved from there in '92 and the industry was booming then... now it's bigger than ever.
Top Ten Reasons to Live in.... ??
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