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(This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate
Journal)
"This toast is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that
finish last, that never become more than friends, that
endure hours of whining and bitching about what
******** guys are, while disproving the very point.
This toast is dedicated to those guys who always provide a
shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to
tentative hugs and not grab-***. Those guys who hold open doors and
give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently
outside the changing room at department stores.
This toast is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how
cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends
are at the appropriate moment, because they understand most
girls need that litany of support, even though it changes nothing about how they feel about you.
This toast is in honor of the guys with open minds, with
laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor
of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy
to her theology to her clothing style.
This toast is for the guys who escort their drunk-off-their-*** puke-in-the-car
female friends back home from parties and never
take advantage once they’re at her door, and for the guys
who accompany them to bars as buffers against the
some really creepy male predators looking to "get some". We can spot *****
just as good as thet can, regardless of gender.
A toast to the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them
out anyway, and for the guys who always play by the rules in a game
where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who
are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow
don’t end up being boyfriends. For all the nice guys
who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated.
For all the nice guys who are manipulated, mis-led, and
unjustly shrugged off, this toast is for you.
This toast is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on
your cell phone, and when you called her back, she
spent three hours pain-stakingly dissecting two
sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And
even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and
a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she
shouldn’t worry about it.
This toast is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever
orchestrated in GTA3, Counterstrike or UT2K4 to rant about a rumor that
romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the
most repulsive person in the world. And even though
you thought it was immature and you had nothing
against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and
helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around
the floor.
This toast is also for that time she didn’t have
a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing
“serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a
party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and
she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit
of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh,
but we’re just friends!” And even though you were
invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego,
you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is
due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t
seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I
could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From
what I have observed on campus and what I have learned
from the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many
girls are just illogical, manipulative creatures who have no clue what they want.
Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but
when presented with such an opportunity, they say
irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too
nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but
he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much
from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!”
Or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.”
Yet, they continue to lament the lack of dateable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and
apologize for the men that are jerks.
Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I
can’t figure out why or where the connection breaks down
between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what
they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ***
tonight!).
But one thing I can do, is say that the
nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last
forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out
of that train of thought and realize they should be
dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted as their bio clocks start ticking. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier,
finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose this toast to
all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know
you’re sick as hell of hearing yourself described as
ubiquitously "nice". But the truth of the matter is, the
world needs your patience in the department store,
your holding open of doors, your party escorting
services, and your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty
smile.
For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you
tolerate, for all the situations where you are the
faceless, name-less hero, my accolades, my
acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You
do have credibility in this society, and your well
deserved vindication is coming."
Cheers! *Clink*
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I've seen this before, it's a cool article, and way too true!
__________________
Where do you go when it gets dark?
Is there room for me there?
How long will it take you to wake up?
Before you go will you wake me?
Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I
can’t figure out why the connection breaks down
between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what
they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ***
tonight!). B
ok i know i can be mean sometimes but i'm not a "complete ***"! but yea ok, i'll sleep with her...what's her name?
i have a feeling that girls wont talk in an open forum about 'nice guy' syndrome...i know i suffer from it...sigh
Girls don't want a 'nice guy!' When they come over to "cry on your shoulder" they are really saying I need some 'get over it sex.' Otherwise they would call up their girlfriends for the inevitable 'guys are ***holes' eat fest. When they call up the 'nice guy' it's for some guilt free sex but most nice guys are too stupid to see it.
Girls don't want a 'nice guy!' When they come over to "cry on your shoulder" they are really saying I need some 'get over it sex.' Otherwise they would call up their girlfriends for the inevitable 'guys are ***holes' eat fest. When they call up the 'nice guy' it's for some guilt free sex but most nice guys are too stupid to see it.
If that's the case, I've missed out on a TON of guilt free sex... Wait.. I'd feel guilty tho.
Girls don't want a 'nice guy!' When they come over to "cry on your shoulder" they are really saying I need some 'get over it sex.' Otherwise they would call up their girlfriends for the inevitable 'guys are ***holes' eat fest. When they call up the 'nice guy' it's for some guilt free sex but most nice guys are too stupid to see it.
See I thought so.....you are not really a "nice guy." Us really nice guys wouldn't have figured that out.
Ugh. Substitute "desperate needy loser/doormat" for "nice guy" and everything's spot on. Or, do a google search for the term "average frustrated chump" for more info. A couple of especially choice bits though:
Quote:
This toast is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever
orchestrated in GTA3, Counterstrike or UT2K4 to rant about a rumor
lolol...no wonder you aren't getting any
Quote:
But one thing I can do, is say that the
nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last
forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out
of that train of thought and realize they should be
dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted as their bio clocks start ticking. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier,
finding the ones that are single.
Wrong. Chances are, "she" didn't grow out of it at all. She is probably thinking of the hot Jerk as she doles out the once-a-week to Mr. Nice, and She merely settled for what she could get. The part about the bio-clocks is almost right, except it's more like..."has been ticking for a few years, and in fact went off; now she has a screaming little bastard or two that needs to be paid for and Mr. Jerk has moved out".
So basically Mr. Jerk busts off, and Mr. Nice Guy gets to pay bills and play daddy for over a decade. What a great evolutionary strategy! No wonder the world is full of jerks.
Last edited by BaronVonBigmeat; 10-27-2004 at 06:31 PM.
Girls don't want a 'nice guy!' When they come over to "cry on your shoulder" they are really saying I need some 'get over it sex.' Otherwise they would call up their girlfriends for the inevitable 'guys are ***holes' eat fest. When they call up the 'nice guy' it's for some guilt free sex but most nice guys are too stupid to see it.
i should really start taking advantage of those situations is what you're saying. well i ve got someone in mind who keeps this charade on with me time to test the waters?
We might figure it out but we'd also think about it a different way. We'd see it as taking advantage of the situation and not a nice thing to do.
that reminds me of the time i was driving a girl home after she got totally wasted, she kept falling in my lap, but i couldnt take advantage of a drunk girl no matter how inviting it was.
that reminds me of the time i was driving a girl home after she got totally wasted, she kept falling in my lap, but i couldnt take advantage of a drunk girl no matter how inviting it was.
MazdaspeedFeras <--hopeless perhaps?
Most likely she wasn't that drunk but wanted the guilt free sex. Many girls have used excuses for it. But let me clarify very seriously that you were wise not to tap that ***. If she was really drunk then you could be facing some very serious criminal offenses in some areas. And taking advantage of drunk people is only acceptable when a Sharpie is involved... :D
And for those girls out there, don't use the drunk rouse for guilt free sex because we aren't takin' any chances.
I read that whole toast and kept thinking of my nice guy -- he's also my doctor, and we've been good friends for years. We met when I had to rush my then-husband to an emergency clinic for a severe asthma attack, and he was the doc on duty. He became our friend, we went to his wedding, we socialized as couples for years, and were there for each other through respective divorces.
Tried the dating thing and.... ugggh. Just uggh! NO CHEMISTRY whatsoever. It just felt weird and wrong and ... uggh! He's the perfect guy in many ways (intelligent, beautiful home, car aficionado, no kids, etc.), and I know that I can always call him up and talk over anything that's bothering me, but I could no more become romantically involved with him than I could with my brother (if I had one).
There's the true nice guy, and then there's the "really just hoping to get some but too timid to ask for it" guy. Guess which one gets taken advantage of? There's a line I've never forgotten from the movie "The Flim-Flam Man": "You can't cheat an honest man". I really believe that.
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