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Old 04-11-2005, 04:20 PM   #1
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Terror Alert TV Van - Makes Me Proud To Live In Tennessee

MURFREESBORO, TN—Touting itself as "the only channel with a terror-alert system designed to meet the specific needs of central Tennessee," Fox News affiliate WMFB-TV Channel 11 debuted its terror-alert van Monday.

"The team you trust to keep you informed is working to keep the greater Murfreesboro area—and your family—safe from Muslim extremists," said station manager Carl Bogert, unveiling the TerrorFirst! van at a press conference held in the "Terrorist No Zone" in the back parking lot. "When terrorism threatens the people of central Tennessee, Fox 11 is there first. Watch Channel 11 for up-to-the-minute coverage of where, when, and how the enemies of freedom are coming to get you."

Painted red, white, and blue, the TerrorFirst! van is the first mobile unit devoted to monitoring terrorist threats on a local level. The van is equipped with live satellite feeds to and from the Fox News channel, a fax machine prepared to receive alerts from the Department of Homeland Security in Washington, an English-Arabic phrase book for translating any intercepted al-Qaeda correspondence, and a field-issue anthrax-detection kit.

"In a minute's notice, the van can be completely prepped, on the road, and speeding toward any site of terrorist activity within the WMFB broadcast area," Bogert said. "Assuming two attacks don't happen concurrently, of course."

According to Bogert, the TerrorFirst! van features a rooftop satellite dish, a diesel-powered generator in case terrorists take down the Tennessee power grid, emergency snow chains for use in the event of a nuclear winter, a supply of promotional "Fox 11 News...Looking Out For You" T-shirts and bumper stickers, and a gun rack. The van is outfitted with several state-of-the-art monitoring systems, as well.

"TerrorDoppler can detect a dirty-bomb detonation of any significant magnitude from up to 40 miles away," Bogert said. "The van can transmit a map of contaminated areas to the station for broadcast. That way, Fox 11 viewers gain valuable minutes—time which could be used to plan escape routes, call loved ones, and gather survival supplies."

A Fox 11 News promotional spot features footage of the van driving down Murfreesboro thoroughfares while flashing its trademark Terror Alert Warning Light, which informs Murfreesboro citizens of the current Homeland Security Advisory System terror-threat level. The images of the van are juxtaposed with grainy, black-and-white footage of a terrorist—actually WMFB production assistant Fred Fromme clad in a towel and bathrobe—lingering in doorways and back alleys.

The commercial ends with a message from Fox 11 anchor Bob Herlihy: "When terror strikes, don't get left behind. Stay ahead of the game with Fox 11."

Although the only criminal activity the van has uncovered thus far was the illegal dumping of several quarts of used motor oil into the sewer, response from Fox 11 viewers has been overwhelmingly positive.

"When it comes to keeping me and my loved ones safe, Fox 11 is 'on the case!'" said Murfreesboro resident Ed Nelson, expressing his enthusiasm about the new van to a Channel 11 camera crew. "Seeing the Fox News terror-alert van parked in front of the credit union or driving through the Piggly Wiggly parking lot makes me feel secure."

Nelson, who will appear in an upcoming local Channel 11 advertisement, waved his index finger and added: "Fox 11 News is number one in central Tennessee!"

Bogert ended the conference with some tough words for terrorists.

"Terrorists better think twice before targeting the good citizens of the greater Murfreesboro area," Bogert said. "Terrorists, if you're watching, I have one thing to say to you: If you attack, the Fox 11 News team will be on the scene just minutes later."

Though Channel 11 currently has the only anti-terrorism news van in the country, plans are underway to use the concept at Fox affiliates nationwide.
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:24 PM   #2
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Is this a joke?
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:25 PM   #3
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does this mean the terrorists win? i mean honestly i feel like we're supposed to livve in some sort of fear culture these days. All this terror alert crap is just us cowering in 'terror'. I mean look at how much money and fear that small group of terrorists has installed in all of us. Its getting to the point where we can hardly walk into a store without showing gov't issued ID .

ok end rant on how the past few years of hysteria is exactly what the terrorists wanted.
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:27 PM   #4
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I am SOO Happy to see somebody finally DOING something... Congrats to FOX news for having the ***** to take a stand. :D

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Old 04-11-2005, 04:29 PM   #5
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I live in Tennessee. It must be real...only in Tennessee. We still have parks honoring KKK leaders....
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Last edited by GotZoom; 04-11-2005 at 04:32 PM.
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:30 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GotZoom
I live in Tennessee. It must be real...only in Tennessee. We still have parks honoring KKK leaders....
you're getting me scared about visiting tennessee in may lol
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:30 PM   #7
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I'm not sure which one is funnier, that they have a terror alert van or that they have a terror alert van in Tennessee. I mean who wants to attack TN? What are they going to do? Bomb the Chattanooga choo choo? :D
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:31 PM   #8
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Quote:
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you're getting me scared about visiting tennessee in may lol
Memphis in May Festival?
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:31 PM   #9
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Graceland as we all know is a huge target for al-Qaeda. Being the house of a king and all.
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:35 PM   #10
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There is the Nuclear Weapons Plant at Oak Ridge. That is less than 165 miles away from Murfreesboro.
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:36 PM   #11
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Quote:
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Memphis in May Festival?
girlfriend that lives far away festival :o
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:37 PM   #12
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Quote:
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girlfriend that lives far away festival :o
Not near Knoxville I hope. Oak Ridge isn't far from K'ville.
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:38 PM   #13
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The Oak Ridge Boys are a priority Target I'd guess.
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:40 PM   #14
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Oh...and Fort Cambell.
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:46 PM   #15
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Don't forget:
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:50 PM   #16
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Good call - and...geesh...how could we survive without:
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:54 PM   #17
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Good call - and...geesh...how could we survive without:
175 miles from Oak Ridge. Well within the fall-out range.

Men...let's go...we must protect our country!
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:55 PM   #18
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Too funny and sad at the same time. I guess there are stereotypes for a reason.....
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:57 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GotZoom
175 miles from Oak Ridge. Well within the fall-out range.

Men...let's go...we must protect our country!

Tell ya what - I'll leave this weekend...I've got a .22 rifle my dad got for me when I turned 12...I'll bring it. I also have some 'cammies' from when I was in the army.

A few MREs too...think we could live off 16 MREs for a year or so?
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:59 PM   #20
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Tell ya what - I'll leave this weekend...I've got a .22 rifle my dad got for me when I turned 12...I'll bring it. I also have some 'cammies' from when I was in the army.

A few MREs too...think we could live off 16 MREs for a year or so?
This is all funny and all but.....

It's also kind of a shame that things have come to this point. I mean, everyone needs to be safe and all.

But a Terror Van?
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Old 04-11-2005, 05:00 PM   #21
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Quote:
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This is all funny and all but.....

It's also kind of a shame that things have come to this point. I mean, everyone needs to be safe and all.

But a Terror Van?

Yeah - I bet though, if GWB were allowed a THIRD term, we wouldn't need such things. Crazy liberals fighting for the rights of terrorists.
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Old 04-11-2005, 05:11 PM   #22
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Nice, just what Americans need: more fear.
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Old 04-11-2005, 05:14 PM   #23
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Nice, just what Americans need: more fear.

Fear? we aren't afraid of anyone...lol Americans have the single most capable military on the planet...if somebody jacks with us, we kill them...badly.
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Old 04-11-2005, 05:23 PM   #24
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Great attitude, dmp.

Gimme a break - a TerrorVan? As if a terrorist would even bother with Tennessee! If people there are actually that scared and feel better when they see a news van at a squiggly wiggly, well y'all are a lot dumber than I thought
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Old 04-11-2005, 05:31 PM   #25
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Quote:
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Great attitude, dmp.

Gimme a break - a TerrorVan? As if a terrorist would even bother with Tennessee! If people there are actually that scared and feel better when they see a news van at a squiggly wiggly, well y'all are a lot dumber than I thought

You don't give people enough credit.
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Old 04-11-2005, 05:31 PM
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