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ok we've(you've) talked about gay and straight marriage what about the blended family? since 50% of all marriages end in divorce there are probably alot out there. i lived it. what was it like or do you think it would be like to have a step-mom, father, children?
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I think for it to be successful it takes some serious work by the parents to agree on how things are done - how/when to discipline children, supporting eachother, making sure everyone in the family is heard and their needs taken into account. It can work, but you have to work at it.
Well, My step father would beat me with a horse whip, and would tell me on a daily basis that stepkids do not smell like yours, and that blood is thicker then water, and that my brother and I were too expensive for him......I guess you could say that I have a dim view of it.
On the other hand, he is a real POS, and I am sure that there are many mixed familys that are just fine.
And I do have a perfect example of what not to do as a father.
And yes, I am serious here....it was a riding crop like they use on race horse's. I still have scars on my *** and legs from it.
I am a step father and treat my step daughter as my own. Personaly anyone who would beat on their step kids would beat their own kids if the step child wasn't around.
I am a step father and treat my step daughter as my own. Personaly anyone who would beat on their step kids would beat their own kids if the step child wasn't around.
I would agree, except that he treated his two blood kids real well...even the drug addicted felon. Things got worse after he "found jesus"...spare the rod and all that. It seems christ thinks you should beat the ever loving **** out of helpless children, at least in the eyes of my stepfather.
remember, this guy and my mom hooked up when I was three....I had no contact with my blood father, since my mother wanted us to be a family.
I would agree, except that he treated his two blood kids real well...even the drug addicted felon. Things got worse after he "found jesus"...spare the rod and all that. It seems christ thinks you should beat the ever loving **** out of helpless children, at least in the eyes of my stepfather.
remember, this guy and my mom hooked up when I was three....I had no contact with my blood father, since my mother wanted us to be a family.
ah well, I am a better person for it.
I would say he treated them well because he had you to toss around, sounds like he was upset with his own losser kids (drug felon) and took it out on you. Sorry to hear it. When you grew up did you ever go back and punch his ever deserving lights out?
Nah, I am a firm believer in the old "that which does not kill me makes me stronger" stuff. I was put there for a reason, and if not, I would not have gone to the collage I did, and would not have met my wife, and would not have my two great kids. Really it was worth it for that.
Gee, what other crap can I spew out of my tortured psyche? Let me tell you about my dreams and my grand mother..... :p
Nah, I am a firm believer in the old "that which does not kill me makes me stronger" stuff. I was put there for a reason, and if not, I would not have gone to the collage I did, and would not have met my wife, and would not have my two great kids. Really it was worth it for that.
Gee, what other crap can I spew out of my tortured psyche? Let me tell you about my dreams and my grand mother..... :p
Please don't share the grandma dreams I like not havign my ears and eyes burst into flames. lol. :p
Glad your well adjusted after all the stepfather stuff.
Marriage has deteriorated so much that half the marriages in the United States are failing. There is a 50 percent chance that your marriage will not make it.
The Truth:
It's been called America's most-often-cited statistic. It's so widely held to be true that it is repeated without question by authors, speakers, broadcasters, politicians, counselors and ministers.
Here are some examples from just a few Web sites on the Internet:
"Fifty percent of marriages will end in divorce."
— An infidelity support group
"Fifty percent of all marriages now end in divorce."
— Promotion for a book on divorce
"Fifty percent of all marriages in America end in divorce."
— From the treasurer's office of a Midwestern state
"Over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce."
— From a men's counseling center in California
Divorce is too common in America and that should not be taken lightly, but those who are committed to a lifetime of marriage don't need the discouragement accompanying the notion that half the marriages are going to self-destruct anyway.
I was once told by a young bride-to-be that she and her fiancé had decided not to say "Till death do us part" in their wedding vows because the odds of it really happening were only 50-50.
Let me say it straightforwardly: Fifty percent of American marriages are not ending in divorce. It's fiction. A myth. A tragically discouraging urban legend.
If there's no credible evidence that half of American marriages will end up in divorce court, where did that belief originate?
Demographers say there was increased focus on divorce rates during the 1970s when the number of divorces rose, partly as a result of no-fault divorce. Divorces peaked in 1979 and articles started appearing that claimed 50 percent of American marriages were ending in divorce.
A spokesperson for the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics told me that the rumor appears to have originated from a misreading of the facts. It was true, he said, if you looked at all the marriages and divorces within a single year, you'd find that there were twice as many marriages as divorces. In 1981, for example, there were 2.4 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces. At first glance, that would seem like a 50-percent divorce rate.
Virtually none of those divorces were among the people who had married during that year, however, and the statistic failed to take into account the 54 million marriages that already existed, the majority of which would not see divorce.
Another source for the 50-percent figure could be those who were trying to predict the future of divorce. Based on known divorce records, they projected that 50 percent of newly married young people would divorce. University of Chicago sociologist and researcher Linda Waite told USA Today that the 50-percent divorce stats were based more on assumptions than facts.
So what is the divorce picture in America? Surprisingly, it's not easy to get precise figures because some states don't report divorces to the National Center for Health Statistics, including one of the largest: California.
Some researchers have relied on surveys rather than government statistics. In his book Inside America in 1984, pollster Louis Harris said that only about 11 or 12 percent of people who had ever been married had ever been divorced. Researcher George Barna's most recent survey of Americans in 2001 estimates that 34 percent of those who have ever been married have ever been divorced.
One of the latest reports about divorce was released this year by the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS). It is based on a 1995 federal study of nearly 11,000 women ages 15-44. It predicted that one-third of new marriages among younger people will end in divorce within 10 years and 43 percent within 15 years. That is not a death sentence, however; it's a forecast. Martha Farnsworth Riche, former head of the Census Bureau, told USA Today, "This is what is going to happen unless we want to change it."
Most important, the statistics and predictions about Americans in general don't tell the whole story about the future. There are other factors that affect a person's chances for a long marriage. The NCHS study of women, for example, shows that age makes a difference. Women marrying before age 20 face a higher risk for divorce. Marriages that have already lasted for a number of years are less likely to end in divorce. If your parents did not divorce, your chances are better than if you came from a broken home. Couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce.
The bottom line is that marriage is still what it's always been: a commitment between [a man and a woman] who choose to remain faithful to each other. And they don't need to feel doomed because of scary statistics — least of all ones that are urban myths
I would say he treated them well because he had you to toss around, sounds like he was upset with his own losser kids (drug felon) and took it out on you. Sorry to hear it. When you grew up did you ever go back and punch his ever deserving lights out?
The last time he hit me I was about 18....I hit him back. Hard. He never hit me again. And it was not all bad...I got to grow up on a farm, and learn how to do carpentry and plumbing, how to fix a tractor....even how to fix a used up well (use a shotgun!) And I learned how to "disappear" when he came home. And when I hid, I read. Which made me what I am today, intellectually.
Of course, my little health problem probably came from exposure to pesticide and fertilizer.
Who knows what my mother may have met if not him...could have been a lot worse.
Klegg sorry to hear about it. My Dad died when I was 4 and my Mom never remarried. My mom wasn't the greatest of parents. After hearing some of the comments here I'm not sure what's worse - a bad step father or no father at all.
My personal experience is that I was mostly raised by my step-father! The times that I stayed with my biological father he would usually leave me with one of his girlfriends! I've only ever seen him smile 1 time. Basically he was a cold individual! My step-father was what a father should be. He gave me all views of what a man is! He taught me, he disciplined me, he brutalized me on the basketball court (he swore he was Patrick Ewing when we played but I won the majority of the time, I gave up 100lbs to him at 17years old). My sister is his biological daughter but I never fealt like any less than his child! I think my mother found a good guy. They have been married about 28 years and I don't see them splitting anytime soon! When I see or talk to him now he is like one of my best friends! There can be good situations when a step parent becomes a part of a family!
The funny thing is, he thinks that it made me a better person! It did, but not how he thinks. B/T/W, I did not mean to hijack the thread. We need more good, happy stories here!
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