Ok this is whats happening:

my parents are out with friends, and they'll be back any minute so I REALLY need your help.

Heres some backround:

I volunteer on my sister's softball team, and so yea, whatever I meet this girl, her name is Michelle, and we've been going out for a while. We have a lot in common..... anyways....

So she came over like an hour ago, and I really want to lose my virginity, so I ask her to have sex.

She said: "No, no I can't it's not right" but I told her "Don't worry I know what I'm doing, plus I'll give you two n64 games if you say yes."

So I gave her Donkey Kong Racing, and Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball, and then she goes to my room. She's a bit confused and scared.

Then I think to myself "I need lube, right? I heard some guys saying you have to lube up or else it might not fit properly..

So I have no lube, but I really want to lose my virginity. I grab some butter from the fridge, but it's cold, it won't melt, so I microwaved it for like 5 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now she's saying I burned it.

I don't know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and she's in the bathroom crying. Please help I am really really scared. Any idea how to shut her up? Should I give her another n64 game?

LOL give her zelda majoras mask.

Tell her you'll get her some Hello Kitty stuff at Sanrio... :)

I'll try Arcade Top Hits and see if she stops crying, if not give her the Streetfighter cartridge you got hidden away.

she said i have to give her golden eye and mariokart. i cant give those two up to her, its just that i dont know how to deal with her and my parents are oging to be home soon. any ideas guys?

screw her!

Try the Donkey Punch, which normally knocks out the female and that should solve your problem.

um sorry im closing this. might even have to delete it