TheColonel
06-03-2005, 01:23 AM
Ok, let me just tell you now. There is no RX-7, but there will be a new rotary coupe.. They killed the number 7 with the poor sales of the last one and so Mazda's marketing firm has determined that "RX-7" is not a viable name. In order to name this new coupe, the marketing executive decided it should represent a step back to rotary heritage as well as a signal that Mazda is moving into the future. The step back was easy, why not name it the RX-6? It clearly shows a link to the pre-RX-7 rotary heritage, as 6 more certainly is before 7. The effort to signify the forward movement of Mazda rotary technology was more tricky. At first, they were dumbfounded, as RX-8 is already taken. However, after careful consideration, the number 9 was found to be a good choice. "The consumer will see 9 to mean the new coupe will have twice the technological evolution normally seen from one generation to the next, since 9 is not just 1 but actually 2 numbers above 7" one top brass Mazda executive explained. Fusing these two numbers together, they created the prefect blend of heritage and advancement, the RX-69. One member of the press asked "Don't you think that number is, well, a bit sexually suggestive?". Mazda replied "Well, "sexy" wasn't what we were going for, but, yes, I'd say it is a great looking car", to which the reporter muttered "Umm... never mind... forget it...".
In addition, Mazda has decided that why stop at making an ultimate sports car. Why not just make the ultimate car, period? To accomplish this the new RX-69 will be the most versatile car ever manufactured on the planet. Among the countless available choices will be a full DVD, movie, navigation and video game console, soft top and hard top convertibles, automatic sliding rear doors, optional 3rd row seating, an extended flatbed pickup model with available tow package, a bullet proof armored model with optional roof mounted TOW missile launcher, refrigerated/heated beverage holders, ejector seats, integrated "Phaser XVII" anti radar equipment which actually uses phase disruptor cannons to vaporize potential police vehicles that may be sitting in a speed trap, gold plated exterior body panels with a carved solid diamond Mazda emblem, Io digital cable and Tivo, and an analog clock, because they look so classy in the Infiniti's. Engine options, will include but are not limited to a 5.1L DOHC Inline-7, 18.5L Quad-turbo W-16, 650cc 1R rotary engine, 8L single Turbo diesel and a 6.5hp Honda lawnmower engine for the economy model.
So as you can see, there's a lot to look forward to. All this is true, because I said it and I have a high school diploma. My mom also says I'm real honest.
In addition, Mazda has decided that why stop at making an ultimate sports car. Why not just make the ultimate car, period? To accomplish this the new RX-69 will be the most versatile car ever manufactured on the planet. Among the countless available choices will be a full DVD, movie, navigation and video game console, soft top and hard top convertibles, automatic sliding rear doors, optional 3rd row seating, an extended flatbed pickup model with available tow package, a bullet proof armored model with optional roof mounted TOW missile launcher, refrigerated/heated beverage holders, ejector seats, integrated "Phaser XVII" anti radar equipment which actually uses phase disruptor cannons to vaporize potential police vehicles that may be sitting in a speed trap, gold plated exterior body panels with a carved solid diamond Mazda emblem, Io digital cable and Tivo, and an analog clock, because they look so classy in the Infiniti's. Engine options, will include but are not limited to a 5.1L DOHC Inline-7, 18.5L Quad-turbo W-16, 650cc 1R rotary engine, 8L single Turbo diesel and a 6.5hp Honda lawnmower engine for the economy model.
So as you can see, there's a lot to look forward to. All this is true, because I said it and I have a high school diploma. My mom also says I'm real honest.