Could you consider having a long-term relationship with someone who has been a part-time hooker in the past? My friend wants to know.

tell your 'friend' hookers are OK.

Hookers are people too, if she was tested for HIV AND Drugs why not if she was a good person and not likely to go back to that lifestyle. I also would not like to run into any former customers, so I would find out where she used to work.

My friend tells me she only used to work with out-of-towners.

Best put a raincoat on your little friend. :D

no way

My friend says the girl has shown him all her medical certificates that she is clean.
Best put a raincoat on your little friend. :D

As long as she has retired, I don't see why not?

Let’s get one thing clear first, working girls do it for the money, either part time or full time, it is all about the money. This was nothing more then a job to her and a part time one at that.

I don't think your "friend" is telling you the whole story. First off, this issue isn't something someone retired from this business would tell your "friend" unless they were already committed to one another. Retired working girls do not tell their past to a prospective SO at all, and not to a SO who they have been seeing casually because of the potential consequences. It does however get revealed if the woman is in a solid, trusting, sharing, and loving relationship and it is all in her past. If this woman is sharing this information with your "friend" then my guess is that your "friend" and she have been seeing one another for quite some time, which brings up a completely different set of questions.

Does your "friend" love this woman?
Does your "friend" like the relationship that he has with this woman?

If either of these two answers is yes then he should not make it an issue. What is in her past is in her past and he should concentrate on their future together, not about a previous part time job that she once had.

Well Jason, the friend (dude, why you're using quotes? People might assume things) first met the girl as a customer so she could not have hidden it from her.

Well Jason, the friend (dude, why you're using quotes? People might assume things) first met the girl as a customer so she could not have hidden it from her.

Well then your "friend" (assuming nothing) should approach this like any other relationship. This was a job to this woman, nothing more, nothing less. Since she is retired, then there is no reason why your "friend" can't have a normal, healthy relationship with this woman if the chemistry is right.

Jason it seems like you have some experience on this subject. Have you had a friend or a "friend" who has been in this situation?

Jason it seems like you have some experience on this subject. Have you had a friend or a "friend" who has been in this situation?

*ahem*
*ahem*

(stating the obvious)

I am the resident club Gigolo am I not? That should imply something, if not a connotation alone.

*ahem*

Then my friend would need opinions from more people, coz you'd be biased.

*ahem*
*ahem*

(stating the obvious)

I am the resident club Gigolo am I not? That should imply something, if not a connotation alone.

*ahem*

Can't turn a hoe into a housewife

If it doesn't bother you, then I can't see why not. It's easy to judge people, but it is in the past, so keep that in mind. You have to ask yourself if it would ever come into play down the road. The last thing she needs is to have it thrown in her face during an argument, and if you aren't fully comfortable, and it's creeping in your mind, you will likely do that. For me personally, I'd never feel right knowing that, and it would always creep in my mind anytime I felt insecure. no matter how much I tried getting rid of it. Figure out how you feel about it, and base your decision on that feeling. Good luck!!

Then my friend would need opinions from more people, coz you'd be biased.

Another word of advice,

Since your "friend" is a hobbyist, he should know not to out her, no matter what the eventual outcome of his decision may be.

I have experience is this dept.... looooong story but lets just say that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to this stuff......

If she were a hooker in the past.... he should proceed with caution. Its ok to date her but hes gotta make sure she didn't end up leaving that industry too scarred... it can screw up their mentality and view of life to a point where it would be next to impossible to understand each other

uh no

Let’s get one thing clear first, working girls do it for the money, either part time or full time, it is all about the money. This was nothing more then a job to her and a part time one at that.
.

Technically ... yeah..... But realistically ... No.

A job like that is certainly not like serving coffee at Starbucks.... theres a Huge catch to it and you cant quite so easily chalk it up to being "just a job" per se

Can't imagine what I'd do in such a situation. I'd like to say that I'd take things extremely slow. The better you get to know the person the less their past is a factor.

peloponisios, I've read two of your posts do far. Man you're intense! If what you're saying is true, then I feel for you.

Here's something to relieve a bit of the tension.

Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman in a lap dancing bar...

Englishman has a dance and sticks £20 down the girls g-string

Irishman gets a dance and sticks a tenner down her bra

Scotsman gets a dance and swipes his credit card down her arse

It's not something I would consider. But that's just me. Not saying it's not right for your friend.

Offhand I'd say I wouldn't, but of course everyone's situation is different and getting to know someone makes all the difference. The problem as I see it is that the person learned to disassociate sex from emotion or even pleasure. That would weigh on my mind.

who cares what she used to do or what she used to be like.....what matters is wha is she now (or doingnow)...life is to short to piss away a good thing (or a potential good thing). i say if he loves her / may love her / likes her a lot...and nothign is wrong with her throw caution into the wind and "cross the Rubicon" hehehe. he'll never know till he tries.:D

Nah, she can dissociate emotion and sex. My friend says that when they tango she is very passionate and willing to please as well as get pleased. The work she occasionally did was just to make ends meet as her regular job wasn't enough to provide for her and her kid.

Offhand I'd say I wouldn't, but of course everyone's situation is different and getting to know someone makes all the difference. The problem as I see it is that the person learned to disassociate sex from emotion or even pleasure. That would weigh on my mind.

Nah, she can dissociate emotion and sex. My friend says that when they tango she is very passionate and willing to please as well as get pleased. The work she occasionally did was just to make ends meet as her regular job wasn't enough to provide for her and her kid.

Then it sounds like your "friend" has a good deal.

Just remember,

It is better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all. :cool:

Hotpot, when you marry... I mean, when your friend marries this girl, I have just the dress for her:
http://www.rx8club.com/showthread.php?t=54023
Might want to reconsider the color white, though.
And I see no reason why a job history in the sex industry would make a woman unsuitable as a girlfriend/wife -- unless she was so poor at the job that she had to quit! ;)

Hotpot, when you marry... I mean, when your friend marries this girl, I have just the dress for her:
http://www.rx8club.com/showthread.php?t=54023
Might want to reconsider the color white, though.
And I see no reason why a job history in the sex industry would make a woman unsuitable as a girlfriend/wife -- unless she was so poor at the job that she had to quit! ;)
http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/geno/rofl.gif

HOTPOT,
If this "friend" feels he can love and be loved by this woman, then there is no problem. As time passes, and arguments erupt, will your friend be able to refrain from using her job history as a tool to hurt her further?

I dated a stripper in Austin for 9 months. I used to like going in and drinking and watching all the guys hand over their money, it is to say the least, hilarious. But you can't have a jealous bone in your body, else it will begin to wear at you.

But then, your friends girl is retired, so again, NO PROBLEMS. Look at the plus side, she may be a "Master Technician" in bed, very skilled and very experienced. NOTHING wrong with that.

In the end, sex is just sex. (MY god, did I say that?) Love is the deciding factor. If these two can emotionally support one another and can benefit from being together, then they should be.

Love is important but its also gotta "make sense" if you're looking for the long haul in a relationship.

Love is great but its not the answer to everything

Nah, she can dissociate emotion and sex. My friend says that when they tango she is very passionate and willing to please as well as get pleased. The work she occasionally did was just to make ends meet as her regular job wasn't enough to provide for her and her kid.

Oh, man she was turning tricks while raising a kid? Probability of success dropping rapidly here... Warning, Will Robinson!

Sorry, once you become a Mom I think you need to find a better solution to life than prostitution.

Im going to have to say that it'll be very rare to tame a wild animal - without getting yourself killed, and/or hurt in the process.

Sorry to put my bad news in there... but.... doubt it'll happen.

Oh, man she was turning tricks while raising a kid? Probability of success dropping rapidly here... Warning, Will Robinson!

Sorry, once you become a Mom I think you need to find a better solution to life than prostitution.

LMAO... what do you think one of the biggest provacative factors are for getting women into that game?

I cant prove it but I wouldnt be surprised if a good majority of prostitutes have kids

What crack pipe are you smoking!?

EVERYONE knows that ALL hookers are runaway 18 year old girls who would have become supermodels except that thier parents are poor!

LMAO... what do you think one of the biggest provacative factors are for getting women into that game?

I cant prove it but I wouldnt be surprised if a good majority of prostitutes have kids

You know the saying....Can't turn a hooker into a housewife!!

Enough Said....

would you buy a rental car?????

Actually LoveMy8, I did. My girlfriend was a "Hooker" and when I married her she changed her last name from "Hooker" to DeLong :D Now she is my housewife!!!

^ :D

Everytime you have sex with another person, whether you believe it or not, you lose a bit of yourself. I'd bet a hooker, or former hooker, would be unable to completely settle in with one person.

Oh - and if he wants to marry her; he should forget about living with her first. Couple who live together prior to marriage have a much higher rate of divorce. :(

Well if I don't loose it with a girl I have to loose it on my own time. haha.

Once a hooker, always a hooker. I'm with peloponisios. Steer clear of the broad. Well, in the relationship sense. There are 'benefits' to knowing her, though, I'm sure...

Everytime you have sex with another person, whether you believe it or not, you lose a bit of yourself.

Ha, my friend once said the same thing to me. My response: "Yeah, you lose a bit of yourself. Millions of bits of yourself, to be exact, in about a 1-2 teaspoon amount."

Sorry, couldn't resist :D

would you buy a rental car?????Best answer yet. You are the master of the profound one line statement.

would you buy a rental car?????

I like this analogy but if you put it that way most of us never bought a brand new car either. I have one though :)

I enjoy the cultural dynamics of this conversation.

In saying that she can be forgiven by simply adopting a new lifestyle, is whether you like it or not. A very Christian belief, impressed by the spread of Christianity. That is why you are thinking like this. That a person could recieve complete absolution by simply changing their life.

Logically, some things are unforgivable. Consequences cannot be swayed from their rath. If you spend all your money one day in Vegas in a drunken rage, its not coming back tomorrow. If you have unprotected sex one night and get HIV, its not going away.

As much as we would like to fancy that things can be forgiven simply by asking (because it is a very appealing proposal that each of us would like to take advantage of some day), the truth is that we live our lives for the moment. Whatever choices we make in these moments of our lives will shape the outcomes of the rest of our lives.

She made the conscious choice to be a hooker, think of what kind of person it took to resort to this sort of thing: A person with detachment, a whore, a person who has little self image and no self esteem a person willing to sell the very thing that is theirs in this world just for the measly ideal of commercialism: wanting things.

Imagine her whoring herself out just for a new pair of shoes. That is basically what she is doing.

The choices we have made in our past shape how we look upon our future. If you were married for 30 years and loved your wife and then found out she was sleeping around on you since your wedding night. Chances are, its going to make you look at future women differently, less trustingly.

Does she deserve forgiveness for her past transgressions?

NO! In no way does she deserve forgiveness, in any way shape or form, and I would choose to leave her out on her ass.

But, you make your own choice, it is your decision, and you may regret it later when you possibly are married and have a child, only to find out that mommy has been making some extra cash on the side for a few years. Or the detachment that you see in her eyes as you make love to her. The countless betrayls hidden in those sad depths of her eyes. Only in the future, when you put trust in her will you find out what she is truly capable of.

Honestly, this is just a devil's advocate's perspective.... Let's all be honest here-

If you posted something to the tune of-

"I just started dating this really hot ex-porn star.... what should I do?"

Something tells me there would be high fivin's going all around.


Dunno... just a thought....

Plus, since she's got a child, she can't afford to loose a potential stable husband.
A very hardwired nature type reaction.

She is probably not be showing your friend her true self, just because she wants to snag him.

If she was childless, I'm sure you would see a completely different side of her.

The thing that everyone is forgetting is that Hookers are people too. Hookers have feelings just like everyone else. They love, hurt, and to share, vote, and pay their taxes just liek the rest of us. These woman are not just objects, they are human beings who relate to society just like everyone else.

They only pay taxes in parts of Nevada and most of Europe.

Wrong, they report an income to the IRS just like the rest of us. Otherwise they would be guilty of tax evasion and the IRS would come after their assets like anyone else.

Also, there are different types of hookers.

Call girl, escorts, streetwalkers, and massage parlor girls (AMP’s?) are very different from one another in the way that the conduct their business.

Not all hookers are the same.

Wrong, they report an income to the IRS just like the rest of us. Otherwise they would be guilty of tax evasion and the IRS would come after their assets like anyone else.

Also, there are different types of hookers.

Call girl, escorts, streetwalkers, and massage parlor girls (AMP’s?) are very different from one another in the way that the conduct their business.

Not all hookers are the same.


I don't know what hookers YOU'RE talking about, but the majority around here do NOT report their earnings- they still collect welfare. Prostitutes in general aren't glamorous, or beautiful, or rich- they're more likely to be drug addicted and living in poverty than anything else.

I seriously doubt many, if any, pay taxes on their earnings. They get paid in cash, in general(except for the call girl ring in the local paper this morning that accepted credit cards) so what incentive do they have to obey the law any more than they already are?

I think you've watched too many HBO specials on the Vegas brothels or something.

You're talking about street walkers.. some of the other type of "hookers" that he was talking about most likely do pay some portion of thier income as taxes, albiet probably a very small amount. Many higher priced escorts do in fact take credit cards, they are usually billed as models or massage, or some other type of legal service. This gives them SOME legitimacy.



I don't know what hookers YOU'RE talking about, but the majority around here do NOT report their earnings- they still collect welfare. Prostitutes in general aren't glamorous, or beautiful, or rich- they're more likely to be drug addicted and living in poverty than anything else.

I seriously doubt many, if any, pay taxes on their earnings. They get paid in cash, in general(except for the call girl ring in the local paper this morning that accepted credit cards) so what incentive do they have to obey the law any more than they already are?

I think you've watched too many HBO specials on the Vegas brothels or something.

i could use a massage :D

I don't know what hookers YOU'RE talking about, but the majority around here do NOT report their earnings- they still collect welfare. Prostitutes in general aren't glamorous, or beautiful, or rich- they're more likely to be drug addicted and living in poverty than anything else.

Actually, you are refering to a certain type of hooker called a streetwalker. Yes, these women do not pay taxes and and usually drug adicted.

I seriously doubt many, if any, pay taxes on their earnings. They get paid in cash, in general(except for the call girl ring in the local paper this morning that accepted credit cards) so what incentive do they have to obey the law any more than they already are?

I think you've watched too many HBO specials on the Vegas brothels or something.

Actually I did an entire research project on the industry when I was in college (and no, not the type of research you are thinking of).

A vast majority of hookers do quite well for themselves. They work through agencies and brothels. There are also quite a few independents who operate on a pre-booking basis only, and many who travel frequently throughout the country. These women do really well for themselves and quite often make 6 figure incomes on a yearly basis.

From the initial post on this thread, everything pointed to this young woman working part time for an escort service. This is very different from working full or part time as a streetwalker who does or does not have a pimp.

Different metropolitan areas have different laws on the subject, with some being more stringent then others.

ALTHOUGH, Elara is correct also, because the term HOOKER is usually reserved for streetwalkers.

Ah yes, you are correct in that context guy321, but not all "hookers" (using it in the general context) are streetwalkers.

Hooker is another name for a woman who's current profession, either part time or full, is a prostitute.

So for what I am getting down to here is that his "friend" should "date" her if she wasn't a former streetwalker.

I start to wonder how you paid for that Elise... :D

Stop that globi, she is a nice lady.

No doubts, just jealous.

Actually, you are refering to a certain type of hooker called a streetwalker. Yes, these women do not pay taxes and and usually drug adicted.



Actually I did an entire research project on the industry when I was in college (and no, not the type of research you are thinking of).

A vast majority of hookers do quite well for themselves. They work through agencies and brothels. There are also quite a few independents who operate on a pre-booking basis only, and many who travel frequently throughout the country. These women do really well for themselves and quite often make 6 figure incomes on a yearly basis.

From the initial post on this thread, everything pointed to this young woman working part time for an escort service. This is very different from working full or part time as a streetwalker who does or does not have a pimp.

Different metropolitan areas have different laws on the subject, with some being more stringent then others.


If you did research on this subject, then you know the women you're referring to make up about .009% of all prostitutes out there. It's really disturbing how many of you guys seem to be glorifying this stuff. Do you realize that studies show that more than 80% of prostitutes (that's ALL prostitutes) are victims of rape and/or sexual violence? Or that something like 70% of them started prostituting themselves by the age of 13?

hotpot, your friend just needs to be careful with this girl. She probably has a horrible self esteem.

Hotpot's friend apparently lives on a Tropical Island and maybe the rules are different of how women end up as a prostitutes?
In a poor country where prostitution is legalized, financial considerations might play a bigger role in getting a women into that business than rape or sexual abuse.

Does hotpot's friends girlfriend speak English I wonder?

I also wonder why Jason and Elara seem to know so much about that business?

The thing that everyone is forgetting is that Hookers are people too. Hookers have feelings just like everyone else. They love, hurt, and to share, vote, and pay their taxes just liek the rest of us. These woman are not just objects, they are human beings who relate to society just like everyone else.

Hookers aren't people. They're hookers. :rolleyes:

Seriously, they are "objects" only in the sense that they willingly allow themselves to be objectified, for whatever reason, or lack thereof.

I haven't read everyone's posts here so I'm probably going to sound redundant, but while prostitutes are human beings (by the way, you guys are cracking me up when you make such profound commentaries but then use the word 'hooker' in there. Makes me chuckle anyway :p), their perceptions of life, men & their motivations, and the outside world generally are pretty skewed and, in many cases, just plain fucked up. They're human beings, sure. That doesn't make them like everyone else.

The kid factor just throws a wrench in the whole equation. I wouldn't mess with that if I were your "friend" personally. I have a guy friend who dated this girl with two kids. They eventually broke up after a year or two and she started bouncing between guys. Definitely not a healthy environment for children. Doesn't exactly foster the soundest of minds. So, for your friend, save the child some mental/emotional torture and don't get involved with the hooker.

a large proprtion of women that I meet/know have been molested or the victim of rape.. Not all of them are prostitutes, or even strippers. Just from personal experience, molestation seems to be more common than not, atleast here in the south.





If you did research on this subject, then you know the women you're referring to make up about .009% of all prostitutes out there. It's really disturbing how many of you guys seem to be glorifying this stuff. Do you realize that studies show that more than 80% of prostitutes (that's ALL prostitutes) are victims of rape and/or sexual violence? Or that something like 70% of them started prostituting themselves by the age of 13?

hotpot, your friend just needs to be careful with this girl. She probably has a horrible self esteem.

My friend does not live in the US, so I guess comparisons with US prostitutes is not really helping him. He liked Gigolo's open approach to the issue but is appalled at how many others are so quick at passing judgement on her girlfriend. Some of you must realise that not everyone grows up in a secure and cocooned environment.

The girl is now off the circuit and has opened a small fast-food place with the savings that she has. The love and moral support that my friend has given her is the main reason she has decided on a change of career. She now works much harder than in her previous regular+part time jobs, something like 12 hours a day, six and sometimes seven days a week, although she is not making more money.

My friend really thinks that she is a very decent person with a big heart, although she still has to regain her self-respect and assurance. She still seems a bit insecure. But apparently she is showing a growing happiness every day. My friend at the moment is uncertain on whether relationship will last, for reasons he would not go into, but he seems very happy in the relationship. I think it makes him feel good that he has managed to get her to change her ways. He also says that he has not felt so much love from a woman before. That scares him a bit.

Anyway, thanks to all for your responses. Keep them coming.

If hotpot's friend's girlfriend - let's call him Bubba - so if Bubba's girlfriend looks like hotpot's Avatar, who could possibly blame Bubba?

Bubba died yesterday so she's free now. sorry, couldn't resist