Yea, I'm bored at work. Here goes -

Willie: Eek! I mean, ach! I mean ... what are you doin' here?
Homer: Uh, buh, buh, we're new foreign exchange students from ... uh, um ... Scotland!
Willie: Saints be praised, I'm from Scotland! Where do ya hail
from?
Homer: Uh ... North ... Kilttown.
Willie: No foolin'! I'm from North Kilttown! Do you know Angus McCloud?
Homer: Wait a minute! There's no Angus McCloud in North
Kilttown! Why, you're not from Scotland at all!



Homer: Awww, I can't go to prison. They pee in a cup and throw it on you. I saw it in a movie...
FBI Agent: You won't be seeing any prison movies where you're going...PRISON!

Keep em coming!

'Doughnuts! Is there anything they can't do...???'

Homer: Aww, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's Brain: $20 can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woohoo!

This is at the end of the episode where homer tries to get fatter to work at home. I know its not really a quote.


Burns is sitting on something like a directors chair counting the numbers as homer does push ups(but he can't do one)

Burns: one.
Homer: uhhn!
Burns one!
Homer: uhhn!
Burns: ONE!!
Homer: uhhn!
Burns: Awe forget it I'll just pay for your liposuction!
Homer: Woohoo!

:D :D :D

How about this one. This is the episode where bart joins a boy band. But in the beginning of the episode homer gets ready for the springfield marathon.

Homer: Head band? Check.
Homer: Anti-chaffing nipple tape? Check.
Homer:Check.
Homer: and Check.

Stan Lee: (cramming a Hulk action figure into boy's Batmobile) Look...he's fitting right now!

Stan Lee: (moments later) Broke it? Or made it...better?

-------------
(moments after the Springfield Monorail's demise)
Leonard Nimoy: Well, my work's done here.
Barney: But you didn't do anything!
Leonard Nimoy: Heh heh. Didn't I? (teleports away)

-------------

Stan Lee: (cramming a Hulk action figure into boy's Batmobile) Look...he's fitting right now!

Hey from what episode was this from?

I like this one for some reason. It's when the Simpsons move into Burns' mansion to watch over it and in the end he winds up trapped in a net above shark infested waters by pirates.

Moe: Aw, we're going to die and I never tasted
cantaloupe.
Krusty: Eh, you didn't miss much. Honeydew is the money
melon.

Originally posted by Y&Y


Hey from what episode was this from?

It was from the episode where Bart makes a comic called Angry Dad and it gets put on the internet. I forget the name of it though.

You can check out www.snpp.com
It's a listing of all Simpsons episodes and features the script for each of them too. That's where I get all the quotes from:D

I've been frequenting http://www.lardlad.com/

Great source for tons of soundbytes.

Ralph Wiggum is the most quotable character on Simpsons :D

"me fail english? that's unpossible!"

"I bent my wookie"

*walks into the adult section of video store*
"everybody's hugging!"

Ralph is my fave...

(the Lord of the Flies episode)

Bart: GO APPLE!
Milhouse: GO ORANGE!
Ralph: GO BANANNA!! (doesn't roll at all)

Ralph: ahhhhh!! my tummy!! the purple berries taste like BURNING!!

(the Tell Tale Heart Diorama episode)

Ralph: ohh!! i bent my wookie :(

...and many, many, many more.

Flanders is always good for a laugh too... :D

"Daddy says I'm this close to living in the yard" - Ralph W.

To BEER! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Oooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain sodium benzoate. [Homer looks puzzled.] That's bad!
Homer: Can I go now?

Originally posted by evel333
Stan Lee: (cramming a Hulk action figure into boy's Batmobile) Look...he's fitting right now!

Stan Lee: (moments later) Broke it? Or made it...better?
It was the Thing not the Hulk I think.


Am I alone in thinking that all of life, theology and philosphy of the modern western world can be found in a Simpson's episode. Truly the best writing on TV (but beginning to fade a bit - Family Guy is funnier sometimes).

Skinner: "Steamed hams!! mm-mmm!!"

Duff man can't breathe... oh no!

That one isn't one of the best, but it is the only one I can think of right now.
Is it sad that I isntantly reconize all the posted quotes or is it ok to be a simpsons-holic.

Originally posted by pmacwill
Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Oooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain sodium benzoate. [Homer looks puzzled.] That's bad!
Homer: Can I go now?

This one is also my favourite !

Its ok to be a simpsonholic. Its not bad to like the simpsons. I haven't met one person who didn't like the simpsons. Especially the itchy and scratchy bits.

ok heres another one:

Side show Bob walks towards bart and steps onto the rake.

SMACK!!

SS Bob: werhhhuhuh.
SS Bob: Ahh the rake my old arch rival.
Bart: I thought I was your old arch rival?
SS Bob: I do have a life outside of you.


hehe the randomness in the show just cracks me up. I especially love the Halloween specials.

Originally posted by cueball1029
Duff man can't breathe... oh no!

That one isn't one of the best, but it is the only one I can think of right now.
Is it sad that I isntantly reconize all the posted quotes or is it ok to be a simpsons-holic.

Hahah, I love that one. When he's watering the lawn "That brown patch needs a little H20, OHHHH YEAAAAA!"

I like the religious stuff the best!

Rod Flanders: "What's that sound?"
Ned Flanders: "It sounds like Gabriel's trumpet"
Todd & Rodd: "Oh boy Armageddon!"

&

Apu to Homer: "Please do not feed my god peanuts!"

I love the episode where Homer joins the cult with this family which was a spoof on scientology.

(When Groundskeeper Willie tries to deprogram Homer)
Willie: Alright, what's so fine and great about your fancy pants leader?
Homer: The Leader knows all and sees all!
Willie: Ooh.. well that <is> impressive!
Homer: And he's going to take us to a wonderful new planet!
Willie: Oh! This Leader, he sounds like a grand fella!
Marge: Willie, I'm not sure we're making any headway here.
Willie: Would you shut up, woman! He's talking about my leader!

Todd Flanders: "Daddy, where did mommy go?"
Ned Flanders: "Your mother is with Jesus now."
Rod Flanders: "Awh, can we go!"

The episode where Bart finds the detergent box with Homer's face on it.

Homer: C'mon kids, lets go home.
Bart: But we are home!
Homer:That was fast.

I also like this one.

Duffman: Duffman is putting H2 WHOOOA on his plants!

i have so many...

dr. hibburd: don't you have any friends?
comic book store guy: uh...superfriends

flanders: better stop the fumes or we'll end up in tombs

ralph: when i grow up, i want to be a dinosaur

homer: i gave my love a chicken, it had no bone...

Originally posted by pelucidor
It was the Thing not the Hulk I think.

Holy crap, you're right! My mistake. There was Hulk commercial on TV as I was typing. It was The Thing. Some Simpsons fan I turned out to be! (^_^)

from (imo) the best Halloween Simpsons to date:

Homer: "No tv and no beer make Homer, something, something..."
Marge: "Go crazy?"
Homer: "Don't mind if i do!! *screaming, shreiking, etc.*"

...and later freaks himself out in the mirror :D

I've been hanging around the forum for a few weeks now and couldn't resist responding to this one. The Simpsons is one of my all time favorites. Although there are too many great ones, the following quote will always be my favorite:

It's from the episode where Homer changes his name to Max Power (which, of course, he picked up from a hair dryer!). Any way, here goes (and I'm paraphrasing):

Homer: "From now on there's 3 ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, or the Max Power way."

Bart: "But isn't that the same as the wrong way?"

Homer (with emphasis): "YES, but FASTER!!!

HEE! HEE!

Originally posted by LSUFAN
I've been hanging around the forum for a few weeks now and couldn't resist responding to this one. The Simpsons is one of my all time favorites. Although there are too many great ones, the following quote will always be my favorite:

It's from the episode where Homer changes his name to Max Power (which, of course, he picked up from a hair dryer!). Any way, here goes (and I'm paraphrasing):

Homer: "From now on there's 3 ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, or the Max Power way."

Bart: "But isn't that the same as the wrong way?"

Homer (with emphasis): "YES, but FASTER!!!

HEE! HEE!

The Simpsons always brings people together! It's not a quote but from that same episode I love during the pilot of Police Cops, when the criminal explodes when hitting the ground after being thrown :D

another halloween episode, where Maggie is the love child of Marge and a Space Mutant:

Marge: "i'm so [bleep]ing embarrased!" :o

Ralph, after visiting the slaughterhouse

"when I grow up, I want to go to bovine university!"

troy mclure: "just ask the scientitian"

HOMER to BRain: shut up, or i'll stab you with a Q-tip!

Wilie: AAACCHHHH! that's my retirement Grease!

willie: mee shack! mee beautiful shack! and i just got it the way i like it

concerning santa's little helper...
willie: aye, i ate him!
bart: you ATE him??!!
willie: aye! and i ate the way he looked at me, and i ate the way he wagged his tail!
bart: oh you mean you HATE him.
willie: aye! and i also ate the crap he pooped all over the floor

Homer is desperately trying to stop the runaway Monorail....

computer voice- "The function you requested, 'BRAKES' is not available......."

Ok, here are some all time favs:

Homer: "Marge, you know me, I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals FLAMING!!!

On Homer asking Marge to be a surrogate mother...

Homer: "Oh come on Marge, its uter-US not uter-U."

Homer: "Marge, it take two people to lie- one to lie and one to listen."

Homer: "Yes I will be nice to your sisters, then I will hug some snakes. YES! I WILL HUG AND KISS SOME POISONOUS SNAKKESSSS!!! [waving arms wildly]. Now thats sarcasm."

:D :D God I love that show.

Apu: Welcome to my nightmare.
Marge: I knew you had your hands full with the babies, so I baked you some banana bread.
Apu: [sarcastic] Oh hallelujah, our problems are solved. We have banana bread.


Mr. Rogers: It's a beautiful day to kick your ass!

heh heh, the "Homer Sarcastic" one made me think of this, thanks :D

Homer: "Oh, look Marge: I'm making people hap-py!! We all live in Happy Land!! And this is Gum-drop house, on Lollipop Laaaaane."
leaves, comes back...
"In case you couldn't tell, i was being sarcastic"

and a longer sequence, but i can't remember... someone post the "Pig: It's Still Good" one... i remmeber "it's just a little wet" and "just a little airborne" and Lisa: "It's gone"...but nothing before that.
the "Lisa Becomes a Vegetarian" episode.

Originally posted by wakeech
heh heh, the "Homer Sarcastic" one made me think of this, thanks :D

Homer: "Oh, look Marge: I'm making people hap-py!! We all live in Happy Land!! And this is Gum-drop house, on Lollipop Laaaaane."
leaves, comes back...
"In case you couldn't tell, i was being sarcastic"

and a longer sequence, but i can't remember... someone post the "Pig: It's Still Good" one... i remmeber "it's just a little wet" and "just a little airborne" and Lisa: "It's gone"...but nothing before that.
the "Lisa Becomes a Vegetarian" episode.

Here ya go!

Homer: It's just a little dirty. It's still good, it's still good!
[Passes traffic, jumps a bridge and lands in the water.]
It's just a little slimy, it's still good, it's still good!
[It gets caught in a dam spillway, and when the pressure builds,it shoots into the sky.] It's just a little airborne, it's still good, it's still good!
Bart: [Crestfallen.] It's gone.
Homer: I know.

well ill say it and let the flame fest ensue

futurama > simpsons


i smirk at simpsons when i watch
and actually laugh at futurama episodes


yes i know it was cancelled for a reason....but i would rather watch futurama then simpsons given the choice.

Originally posted by joofntool
well ill say it and let the flame fest ensue

futurama > simpsons


i smirk at simpsons when i watch
and actually laugh at futurama episodes


yes i know it was cancelled for a reason....but i would rather watch futurama then simpsons given the choice.

Futurama can't hold a candle to the Simpsons. I know it's made by Groening as well but it's just ok. Come back when you get some taste, you hippie!

I know im in the minority here but im certainly not alone.

Blow for Blow i think the humor in futurama for the most part has an older target audience.

What you just said is SACRILIGE! It's like a Star Wars fan going to a Star Trek convention or vice-versa. Face it, Futurama is a poor man's Simpsons!

I'm gonna have to agree - I love the Simpsons, but Futurama is always good. Its kinda like the middle seasons of the Simpsons when Conan was still a writer. But now the new Simpsons just seems to be around because it's a pop icon.

Anyways... Fav Simpson's quote:

Shary Bobbins: In front of a tavern,
Flat on his face,
A boozehound named Barney
Is pleading his case.

Barney: Buy me a beer,
Two bucks a glass.
Come on, help me,
I'm freezing my ass.

Buy me brandy,
A snifter of wine.
Who am I kidding?
I'll drink turpentine.

Moe: Move it, ya drunk,
Or I'll blast your rear end.

Barney: I found two bucks!

Moe: Then come in, my friend!

Shary: And so, let us leave
On this heartwarming scene.

Bart: Can I be a boozehound?

Homer: Not till you're fifteen.



Oh yeah, and anyone who doesn't like Futurama can bite my shiny metal ass!:)

Kang: "Shazbot"

RotaryStalker

I remember an episode in futurama where Fry and Leyla went to that one planet where Leyla gets married to anotehr cyclops, which turns out to be an ugly shape shifter, and then the next scene acts out the scenes from married with children. That was pretty funny.

Originally posted by Y&amp;Y
I remember an episode in futurama where Fry and Leyla went to that one planet where Leyla gets married to anotehr cyclops, which turns out to be an ugly shape shifter, and then the next scene acts out the scenes from married with children. That was pretty funny.

This was actually only one of the only moments I liked from the show, just because I'm a huge fan of Married w/Children.

After the log destroyed the Kentucky Fried Panda, Homer cries out

"It was finger-Ling-Ling good!"

Originally posted by Good Duck
After the log destroyed the Kentucky Fried Panda, Homer cries out

"It was finger-Ling-Ling good!"

What was this episode about? I don't think I've ever seen this one.

Its the episode where Lisa falls in love with a tree hugger named Jesse(I think) that looks like he should be in a boy band. Lisa decides to live on a huge tree that is about to be cut down to impress the tree hugger. Eventually the tree does get cut down, but doesn't stop plowing through building after building.

Hehe this one was funny too.

Ahhh yes!! I forgot about that one? What do you guys think about the newer seasons as opposed to the older ones? I think recently the show hasn't been as good but the current season has improved a little. Loved the episode where Marge starts taking roids and with that little parody to Platoon.

Homer: (quietly) shadduuuup, her muscular ears can hear you.

You know the episode where homer just drops to the ground starts running in a circle on his side and makes that sound curly from the three stooges made.


Well I actually know someone who did that as a kid. My gf's mother told me this, when my gf was like around 5 or 6 she would dream that she was running. And so my gf legs would be moving while she was sleeping and so she would somehow end up running in a circle while sleeping in bed. Talk about sleep walking in place.

:D

Till this day I still make fun of her.

Futurama is good in parts, but a poor shadow of the Simpsons.

I will say that Family Guy was incredible (esp Stewie and Frank) and makes me laugh more than recent Simpson's episodes but it doesn't cover that whole gamut of politics (president appearances), economics (Homers money raising schemes), religion (Lisa and Buddism), alien life forms, conservation (Lisa), world domination (Burns) non-heterosexuality (Smithers) and small town convenience stores and pubs (Apu and Moe) - and that's ignoring Bart's view of the world...

Before I got married and had kids I assumed I would one day become like George Costanza (my hero and the definition of 'dispicable' as Daffy would say), but nowadays I aspire to become Homer...

a few more good-un's hit me...

Homer: "alright, i'll take your money, but i won't plow your driveway!"

Ralph: "Bushes are fun to hide in!!
...unless they have prickers...
...like this one... ow!!"

Edna Krabapple is flirting with the supermarket bagboy #1 -

#1 "Sorry Maam, we're not allowed to date the customers"
#2 "Sure you are......"
#1 "SHUUUUTTTTTTTUUUUUUUP !"

.
.
.
doc

Homer: "I hope i didn't brain my damage"

Fat Tony: "Do you see the shoota"
Jonny Tight lips: "I see alota things"
Fat Tony: "You know, you could be alittle more helpful"

oh, and one of the best simpson moments, when Homer lists every job he's ever had ( i think in the "Papa's got a new Badge" episode)

my god too many to list, but with close to 100 episodes on tape its gonna be a simpsons summer.
I think there are at least 5 great quotes from every episode ever made.

While we're on the subject, who thinks they know WHERE Springfield is????

-not Santino...just hijacked the name right quick-

Springfield is in Kentucky, right?

Springfield is in Kentucky, right?

There is a lot of discussion about this.

Springfield is nowhere. Just using last night as an example, West Springfield is 3 times the size of Texas.

People take the Behind the Laughter episodes reference to the family from Kentucky as where they live, not true.

Just thought I'd clear things up.

:cool:

I think snpp.com actually had a discussion about this on their site, narrowing it down to a few states.

it was a trick question, springfield really is no where. Think about it; like tallguy said its huge, and it also has to have access to a seaport, lighthouse, huge mountains to name a few. There is actually a town in Washigton or Oregon (can't remember which) that the streets are named after (or predating the show) almost all the simpsons characters. Most people beleive it to be in missouri as well. It's all lies people....LIES!!! I bet Matt Groening's plan in life was to make people get into the "Where is springfield delemma."

Homer: "Beer, the cause of...and solution to....all of life's problems"

This is from the IMDB trivia section for the Simpsons:

"Many of the characters are named after major streets in Portland, Oregon, where creator Matt Groening grew up. Examples: Flanders, Lovejoy, Terwilliger, Kearney."

Thanks MRocks, i knew it was somewhere in rain country :D

Just thought of another on. Homer is on this health craze (kinda like me) and is walking late at night. He comes to a building with GYM spelled in bright red neon.

Homer: GYM (Pronounced GIME)? What's a GYM (Pronounced GIME)?

Homer walks into the GYM sees work out equipment and people working out and says. Oh! A GIME!!

Gotta love it!

Originally posted by LSUFAN
Just thought of another on. Homer is on this health craze (kinda like me) and is walking late at night. He comes to a building with GYM spelled in bright red neon.

Homer: GYM (Pronounced GIME)? What's a GYM (Pronounced GIME)?

Homer walks into the GYM sees work out equipment and people working out and says. Oh! A GIME!!

Gotta love it!

Heh, yea where he eats the Powersauce bars and at the end he's sliding down a mountain on a frozen corpse like a sled.

Homer: "I make you kids promises all the time; that's what makes me a good father"
Lisa: "Keeping promises would make you a good father"
Homer: "No, that would make me a great father"


Homer (rambling): "Ow, ow, stupid trash, rotten, stinky, hate world, revenge soon, take out on everyone. (steps in water) Ewwww garbage water"

Ralph: Wait, mister, you're drinking a candle. You don't want to get wax in your mouth, do you?
Homer: [slyly] Maybe I do, son. Maybe I do.

come on guys, favorite Simpson Musical Moment

Originally posted by Farsyde
Ralph: Wait, mister, you're drinking a candle. You don't want to get wax in your mouth, do you?
Homer: [slyly] Maybe I do, son. Maybe I do. [/B]

Hehe, I love that episode:
Homer: And that talking coyote was really just a talking dog.
Dog: Hi, Homer. Find your soulmate.
Homer: Hey, wait a minute! There's no such thing as a talking dog!
Dog: [barks]
Homer: Damn straight!

Originally posted by Farsyde
come on guys, favorite Simpson Musical Moment

The only ones that come to mind is the one at the burlesque house and the musical number by Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin, called Paint Your Wagon.

Originally posted by LSUFAN
Just thought of another on. Homer is on this health craze (kinda like me) and is walking late at night. He comes to a building with GYM spelled in bright red neon.

Homer: GYM (Pronounced GIME)? What's a GYM (Pronounced GIME)?

Homer walks into the GYM sees work out equipment and people working out and says. Oh! A GIME!!

Gotta love it!

Moments earlier in the same episode I think:

Homer walking alone at night. Spooky atmosphere (probably the sound of an owl or something). Gust of wind blows through the trees creating a gap in them, suddenly revealing a large advertising billboard containing the word "DIE". Homer is startled and mildly alarmed but carries on walking.

Another gust of wind parts the trees still further and the advertising message is revealed in all its true horror: "DIET". Homer screams and flees in terror.

one of the halloween episodes;

Lisa: "How to cook humans"
Alien: "Look there's some space dust on here. (blows it off) How to Cook For Humans"
Lisa: blows off dust "How to cook forty humans"
alien: "Theres still some space dust on here. (blows it off) How to cook for forty humans"

My two favorite Halloween episodes is the one where Homer travels back in time, and whatever he does there changes the future. So he punches a huge mosquito out of the air and starts hitting mushrooms with a stick.

The other one is with the whole Y2K bug that Homer was supposed to fix. When it becomes 1/1/00 the counter at McDonalds resets to zero served and then everyone runs out screaming.

Originally posted by ChrisW


Moments earlier in the same episode I think:

Homer walking alone at night. Spooky atmosphere (probably the sound of an owl or something). Gust of wind blows through the trees creating a gap in them, suddenly revealing a large advertising billboard containing the word "DIE". Homer is startled and mildly alarmed but carries on walking.

Another gust of wind parts the trees still further and the advertising message is revealed in all its true horror: "DIET". Homer screams and flees in terror.

Such a great episode! Later on, when the Coors alligator eats the Budweiser frogs. hehehe.

My favorite episode though is when Homer buys a gun as a result of the soccer riot. OPEN WIDE FOR SOME SOCCERRRRR!

Smithers: "Women and Seamen don't mix."

Lisa: Just promise me you'll try not to freak out the blind man.
Bart: I can't promise that I'll try, but I'll try to try.

Captain Horatio McCallister: Yarrr.. I'm not attractive.

Australian man: I see you've played 'knifey-spoony' before.

Hibbert: No. It had to be TERROR SWEAT!!

Homer: Caulk, yummy delicious caulk!

Krusty: Uh...I could pull a better cartoon out of my a-- ah he he he he. Hey! Wow! Wasn't that great kids!

Woman: It smells like something crawled in your mouth and died.
Barney: It's not dead!

*Homer walks into the Post office pretending to be Mr.Burns
Homer: Hi i'm Mr.Burns, i'm here to get my mail
Postal Worker: Ok Mr.Burn's whats your first name?
Homer: I don't know... <and walks away>

Simspons > Family Guy > Futurama

Spanish Guy in a Bee costume: Aye Senior Ding Dong, donde esta mi tequila!?

see my sig

Speaker: "And the winner is ... Number 3, in a quantum finish."
Farnsworth: "No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!"

Bart: "You are a Dorkus Malorkus"

Homer: Son, If you don't like your job, you don't quit...You just go in everyday and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Another one

Lisa: Mr Burns is a vampire!
Homer: Oh Lisa, you and your stories. 'Mr. Burns is a vampire,' beer kills brain cells.' Now, let's go back to that building...thingy....where are beds and TV....is.

i choo choo choooooooooooose u!!!
-Senor ralph

See My Vest sung by burns

:) songs in a key of springfield was a fave cd of mine in high school

From when the Simpsons watch Mr Burn's house:

Bart races a golf cart through the hall.

Bart: [knocking over a table] I'm Al Unser, Jr.!
Lisa: [following Bart on horseback, and jumping over the table]
I'm Princess Margaret!
Homer: [following Lisa on a riding mower] I'm drunk!
[mows the table into little bits]

bump lol

4w3zdkmw2E4

But you mustn't tooouuccccccchh!

that's quite the bump.


"all my life i've been an obese man trapped in a fat man's body"