Ajax
06-26-2004, 09:07 AM
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We
only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So
I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can ordersix?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered
six McNuggets.
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a
few items and the lady behind me put her things on
the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items,
she picked up the "divider," looking it all over for
the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the
bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this
is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't
think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I
paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to
what had just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said
she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
askin! g for a credit card number, so she was using
the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't
get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a
distant convenience store) would have a battery to
fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm,
too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she
answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
about the batteries. It's a long walk."
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a
secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her
last remai! ning blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank"
copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
motor home was towed into the garage. The front of
the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole
thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I
asked the manager what had happened. He told me that
the driver had set the "Cruise Control" and then
went in the back to make a tuna sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in
the central office of a large bank. Employees in the
field call him when they have problems with their
computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've
got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do
you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on his head and connecting
it w! ith wires to a photocopy machine. The message
"He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling
the truth. Believing the "lie
detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the
dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the
emergency room, the kid was eating ants, the
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl
and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him
some ant killer.....Dispatcher: Rush him in to
Emergency!
menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We
only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So
I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can ordersix?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered
six McNuggets.
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a
few items and the lady behind me put her things on
the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items,
she picked up the "divider," looking it all over for
the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the
bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this
is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't
think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I
paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to
what had just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said
she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
askin! g for a credit card number, so she was using
the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't
get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a
distant convenience store) would have a battery to
fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm,
too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she
answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
about the batteries. It's a long walk."
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a
secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her
last remai! ning blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank"
copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
motor home was towed into the garage. The front of
the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole
thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I
asked the manager what had happened. He told me that
the driver had set the "Cruise Control" and then
went in the back to make a tuna sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in
the central office of a large bank. Employees in the
field call him when they have problems with their
computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've
got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do
you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on his head and connecting
it w! ith wires to a photocopy machine. The message
"He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling
the truth. Believing the "lie
detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the
dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the
emergency room, the kid was eating ants, the
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl
and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him
some ant killer.....Dispatcher: Rush him in to
Emergency!