I would vagina in the morning
Vagina in the evening all over this world!

I'd have a place to store my loose change.

Want mine? Most of it is in a jar somewhere :p Probably doing research on it! LOL

(Where is that pic flatso?!)

Originally posted by Meowloud
Want mine? Most of it is in a jar somewhere :p Probably doing research on it! LOL

(Where is that pic flatso?!)

it's on my computer at home will post tonight

I would still try to pee standing up

that is the one reason i wish i was a guy..i hate not being able to pee standing up w/o getting it all over the place..HAHA! Not that most guys can aim...but asumming they could...

aiming a winkiedoo is like aiming a musket

Originally posted by DrivenBySpeed
that is the one reason i wish i was a guy..i hate not being able to pee standing up w/o getting it all over the place..HAHA! Not that most guys can aim...but asumming they could...

..I'd never leave my room, and I'd stock up on cucumbers.

Originally posted by pidge1114
..I'd never leave my room, and I'd stock up on cucumbers.
GEEZUS, you don't want that thing swelling shut!

Isn't tighter... Oh never mind.

Im happy with my penis. Also i like 1 set of lips( mouth) i dont want anymore lips LOL

If I had a vagina I would have married for friendship alone. No other reason to get married.

if i had a varina i would have 3- 8's by now

I'd never be broke, hungry or horny

. . . then I could have a penis anytime.

Heh, you guys are mainly positive. What would be some negatives in your opinion?
Honestly, I don't think some of you guys would like to have a 'friend' every month. :eek:

Originally posted by Meowloud
Heh, you guys are mainly positive. What would be some negatives in your opinion?
Honestly, I don't think some of you guys would like to have a 'friend' every month. :eek:

Your're right. There is something inherrently wrong with walking along, fat, dumb, and happy, when all of a sudden you start spurting blood from 'happy land' and getting cramps. Guess it would be like me minding my own and without warning someone jerking a knot in the ol' pecker and being unable to untie it for 4-5 days.

Good point Maxwell! And think of the smell! Do you KNOW how diligent you've got to be to keep that open cavity smelling like flowers?

Yeah having a mouse in the house doesn't sound to cumfy to me. Nor does peeing all over your leg and pants when trying to pee standing up. Oh and did I forget to mention pregnancy. I think that this is one of the biggest benifits of being male.

Originally posted by Meowloud
Good point Maxwell! And think of the smell! Do you KNOW how diligent you've got to be to keep that open cavity smelling like flowers?


ewwwwww and I thought the pee in the pool poll was gross. Us men only want to think that flowers and sunshine are down there.

Who came up with the saying to describe pregnancy as 'having a bun in the oven'? Personally, I would like to take them into the street naked and flog them unmercifully with a crowbar.

(Where's my pic and car answer flatso???)

by the way does anyone here have their red stripes?

I don’t know about how diligent you must be, but I do know a neglected or abused vagina can become stinky and diseased in a hurry. A little attention and pampering can go a long way. Btw, ever wonder how some people breed. What is the come on line anyway? “Oh, baby! Yer cooter smells like tuna casserole! Come on and gimmie some, and suck on my green teeth!” Yuck! Sorry. That was probably an image I didn’t need to put in anyone’s head, but I see them all the time and it’s the scene that plays in MY head (I know. SICK) so I had to share.
Originally posted by Meowloud
Good point Maxwell! And think of the smell! Do you KNOW how diligent you've got to be to keep that open cavity smelling like flowers?

Originally posted by flatso
by the way does anyone here have their red stripes?
???

Originally posted by maxwell72764
???
I think he meant Red Wings :D

EDIT: Yes maxwell, you are one sick cat! But really, you pose a good question. How DOES the lowest common denominator find one another and copulate? I think at some point, baking soda is required. There has to be a Field Handbook out there!!

lol redstripes?

Originally posted by Meowloud
I think he meant Red Wings :D




doh!! yea that

Cool hat Optitron... red stripes...

You married guys know what I'm talking about when I say infections are the WORST!
One: You can have the lovely Urinary Tract Infection. ALWAYS great for making a female _INSANE_ and hurting so bad... it puts sawing your arm off with a butter knife, to shame.

Two: The effervescent Yeast Infection. Lovely. I'm not even that gross to go into detail of this delicate flower!

And these are just (2) of MANY!

NOW who wants a vagina?!?

please pass the penis waiter

uh. I do. Just don't want to have to walk around with it!

Originally posted by maxwell72764
uh. I do. Just don't want to have to walk around with it!
They have those. They now make them from Realskin. Fairly pricey though. You could have your own 'privates' to carry around.
I can hear the commercial now.. "At home, in your office, even in your car! Porta-Twat goes EVERYWHERE! And with only seconds to clean it... Porta-Twat will become a family favorite!"

Cumming soon to a theater near you!

I would bleed for 5 days and not die.

thats a good point though---we can bleed for 5 days and not die...most anything else WOULD die if it bled for 5 days...

But the bleeding it only the tip of the ice burg...the cramps are what really get to me...I wish i had a push button to say when i wanted mine and when i wanted it to go away, all i'd have to do is push it again!!

Originally posted by Optitron
I'd have a place to store my loose change.
What would you store up your butt then?

Originally posted by Meowloud
Good point Maxwell! And think of the smell! Do you KNOW how diligent you've got to be to keep that open cavity smelling like flowers?


Flowers? Who wants to eat a flower?

Originally posted by Meowloud
Good point Maxwell! And think of the smell! Do you KNOW how diligent you've got to be to keep that open cavity smelling like flowers?
Now I know what the girls do with the roses I get them.
I'm so naive.

Originally posted by maxwell72764
That was probably an image I didn’t need to put in anyone’s head, but I see them all the time and it’s the scene that plays in MY head (I know. SICK) so I had to share.
My brother. You may have crossed the line there, but you have spoken the unspeakable true cost of dedicating your life to the healing profession.

The fact that we cannot see things as other men see them, ever again.

To the rest of mankind, may you bask in the pleasure of not knowing what we know. For you have something my brothers and I will never have again. Innocence. Rejoice in the glory of your oblivious delight. I envy you.

The key to that is Milualkees Best!

Originally posted by maxwell72764
I don’t know about how diligent you must be, but I do know a neglected or abused vagina can become stinky and diseased in a hurry. A little attention and pampering can go a long way. Btw, ever wonder how some people breed. What is the come on line anyway? “Oh, baby! Yer cooter smells like tuna casserole! Come on and gimmie some, and suck on my green teeth!” Yuck! Sorry. That was probably an image I didn’t need to put in anyone’s head, but I see them all the time and it’s the scene that plays in MY head (I know. SICK) so I had to share.

Yeah, I know where you're coming from.. I saw that program on TLC where they had a camera inside a vagina.. next thing you know, there's this thing going in and out the vagina.. she was having sex!

Originally posted by Speed-ER doc
My brother. You may have crossed the line there, but you have spoken the unspeakable true cost of dedicating your life to the healing profession.

The fact that we cannot see things as other men see them, ever again.

To the rest of mankind, may you bask in the pleasure of not knowing what we know. For you have something my brothers and I will never have again. Innocence. Rejoice in the glory of your oblivious delight. I envy you.

I must say the greatest reward for starting a thread is the many twists and turns it takes before going to the old posts graveyard.


Love

Mr Tuna the Stinky Vagina

hey my wife told me yesterday that a miracle happened at the hospital a baby was born with a penis and a brain

whoa...those come in one package now!!??....GHEEZ!! what a rip off..

We all came with both.. just not enough blood to operate both at once. That's why I invented a new product..:


Introducing the BrainBand!!

Designed spefically to increase bloodflow to the brain during a male's more awkward moments!! Just slip the BrainBand over offending, blood sucking parts of the body and BrainBand will instantly redirect blood to the brain!. This can be yours for 3 easy payments of $19.95!!

Order now!

* This product has not been tested by the FDA, OSHA, CIA, or any organization ending in A*

*Use at your own risk, may cause death*
*Any resemblence to a rubber band is purely coincidental*

Originally posted by XeRo
whoa...those come in one package now!!??....GHEEZ!! what a rip off..

Originally posted by guy321
We all came with both.. just not enough blood to operate both at once. That's why I invented a new product..:

Introducing the BrainBand!!

A shoelace works :D

That's old skool tek ;)

Originally posted by Meowloud
A shoelace works :D

Originally posted by guy321
That's old skool tek ;)
I prefer EFFICIENT :D

But who would pay 3 payments of 19.95 for a shoelace!?

Originally posted by Meowloud
I prefer EFFICIENT :D

Originally posted by guy321
But who would pay 3 payments of 19.95 for a shoelace!?
See, I would underscore you by cutting one of my payments to make a total of 2 Payments of $19.95. AND if you CALL NOW... you'll receive a FREE pair of scissors! That's RIGHT! A $999.99 Value.... FREE!

CALL NOW!

what about knots though...i can't deal with knots...we could possibly 'kill' it if a untangleable(yes that's a xeroism) knot were to happen...

Shoelaces are made of organic material.. The laces have been known to retain fluids which foster bacterial growth. This product has been KNOWN to cause severe infections that have led to amputation!

Originally posted by Meowloud
See, I would underscore you by cutting one of my payments to make a total of 2 Payments of $19.95. AND if you CALL NOW... you'll receive a FREE pair of scissors! That's RIGHT! A $999.99 Value.... FREE!

CALL NOW!

WHOA GUYS! Slow down! Don't ruin my 'knock-off' product!
Xero, that is why you get the FREE scissors, YES FREE scissors! It is also made of my patented Bondage-Nylon which is knot-resistant!

and guy, it is made from synthetic, non-absorbent Bondage-Nylon.

Nylon melts and adheres to the skin!!!

Originally posted by Meowloud
WHOA GUYS! Slow down! Don't ruin my 'knock-off' product!
Xero, that is why you get the FREE scissors, YES FREE scissors! It is also made of my patented Bondage-Nylon which is knot-resistant!

and guy, it is made from synthetic, non-absorbent Bondage-Nylon.

Originally posted by guy321
Nylon melts and adheres to the skin!!!
What are you using?? A blow-torch vibrator?!?

Rubber badn? Shoelace?
What, you guys can knot up your own Spe@r of d*stiny?

I saw that on TV

Originally posted by hotpot
Rubber badn? Shoelace?
What, you guys can knot up your own Spe@r of d*stiny?

BTW, how did we go from vaginas to the anti-vagina?

Originally posted by guy321
BTW, how did we go from vaginas to the anti-vagina?
We had to get you guys back in-line with what it REALLY is like being female.

I know all about being a female.

I know the potty mouths you guys have when talking to eachother. I know the various infections you guys get.. and the line about how you have a bladder infection because your boyfriend is too big.. and how you all get pms at the same time just so you provide a unified front against any males at the office. About how most of you are extra cranky the first 10 minutes you wake up, but look soooo sweet and innocent when you're asleep.

Oh and by you, i mean women in general..

am i right? huh, huh? :)

Originally posted by Meowloud
We had to get you guys back in-line with what it REALLY is like being female.

Originally posted by guy321
I know all about being a female.

I know the potty mouths you guys have when talking to eachother. I know the various infections you guys get.. and the line about how you have a bladder infection because your boyfriend is too big.. and how you all get pms at the same time just so you provide a unified front against any males at the office. About how most of you are extra cranky the first 10 minutes you wake up, but look soooo sweet and innocent when you're asleep.
Oh and by you, i mean women in general..

am i right? huh, huh? :)
Smartas*

when women get together they are worst than men anyday.they could make a sailor blush

And what is up with all that cycle working together crap? Every time women start living together their cycles unite. It's like wonder twin power after a couple of months.

Originally posted by 93rdcurrent
And what is up with all that cycle working together crap? Every time women start living together their cycles unite. It's like wonder twin power after a couple of months.
"Go Go Gadget.. Period!"

why the hell did I read this thread?

You like it, You love it, You want some MORE of it!
Originally posted by emailists
why the hell did I read this thread?

little boy blue

Originally posted by flatso
little boy blue


he needed the money!

bump

when I originally wrote this I was at a whole different place in life...I have grown a lot since then and would have titled it:

If I had a "stinky" vagina with toe lint

Flatso out

Don't forget smegma.

or navel crud

i have a green fungus under my toes and I find that makes a good chip dip

Love Martha Stewart

flatso, you taking Roofies again?!?
Not to discourage you... I mean, you're quite entertaining! :D :D

Originally posted by Meowloud
Don't forget smegma.

Smegma Phi was my fraternity

Originally posted by flatso
i have a green fungus under my toes and I find that makes a good chip dip

Love Martha Stewart

mix in some of your toe nail clippins?

Geez, why did I read the whole thread!?

1. Blue pill works better than shoelace or brainband and costs less allthough it is not reuseable.

2. New BC product reduces the monthly visits to 4 per year.

3. Toe jam is not a food product like strawberry jam.

4. I just don't know about using an instrument with long sharp blades near where my vagina isn't.

5. Now I am still looking for all the pics after seeing Meow's kitty. Pic thread? Maybe I do need the brain band.

all i can say about all this thread is that meow is THE COOLEST girl i have ever heard of!!! am i right?

Originally posted by Todd Green
all i can say about all this thread is that meow is THE COOLEST girl i have ever heard of!!! am i right?

amen brother

Is tight good

An old girl friend in the heat of passion told me to put 3 fingers in her vagina, I did no problem. Then she said put your hand in, I did.
Then she said go ahead a put in your other hand, I did. Then she said clap.......... "tight huh"

....hey buddy, if you help my find my keys, we'll drive my mac truck out of here!

The thread right next to this one reads "Finally got one".... Lol.

It must be nice to be able to get aroused without the whole world knowing about it.

bump

.......... I would have sex with HiTMaNN everyday!

.. I wouldn't want to share it with anyone.... well except women. Guys are gaross.

.. I wouldn't want to share it with anyone.... well except women. Guys are gaross.


Share it with me i promise ill be gentle

Share it with me i promise ill be gentle
czr, you can trust him! See below, he goes out of his way for comfort! :D

Meow i switched sponsors for something a little more easy on guy. Dont worry guy you can tell them I am happy to say KY has given us an unlimited supply.

czr, you can trust him! See below, he goes out of his way for comfort! :D


that is the funniest pic I have ever seen

that is all

that is the funniest pic I have ever seen

that is all


It was funny but the Currynator was coool. And BTW guys i dressed up as a 7-11 Attendent for Halloween and I got the pics are work ill upload them today. They were hilarous i won best costume.

The bottom line is..................If you had a vagina, you would want a penis!! :p

The bottom line is..................If you had a vagina, you would want a penis!! :p
Naw i think if you have the vagina you are in control. When does any hetero guy ever say no to sex with a vagina (taking into effect your not ugly) So if I had one id just be a tease MUAHAHHAHA

Naw i think if you have the vagina you are in control. When does any hetero guy ever say no to sex with a vagina (taking into effect your not ugly) So if I had one id just be a tease MUAHAHHAHA


LOL...I think you missed my point. But you are correct.............Vaginas RULE! ;)

the real question is one of curiosity...is the grass in fact greener on the other side?

if i for some reason had a vagina i'd use it, simply for curiosity's sake.

:D

LOL...I think you missed my point. But you are correct.............Vaginas RULE! ;)


I AM HITMANN I NEVER MISS A POINT. I Am the point in most of your convesation ain't i. Dont have to lie just come out of the closet i promise the world will be a better place.

wtf?

Flatso has some dort of attention deficit disorder.......Wanna join my crew?

.......... I would have sex with HiTMaNN everyday!


Wait......hitman never had a vagina? WTF?

wtf?

Flatso has some dort of attention deficit disorder.......Wanna join my crew?


This crew you speak of.. will the meetings have cookies?

cookies and beer.

cookies and beer.


Since security will be tight will we have dogs? And when they bark bees come out of their mouths.

Since security will be tight will we have dogs? And when they bark bees come out of their mouths.


SHH dont tell, then the OCD club is gunna come out with cats that meow hornets!

SHH dont tell, then the OCD club is gunna come out with cats that meow hornets!


DAMN THOSE OCDS! But we can always call the local civic board to scare the cats away with their body kits!

my dream is one day this thread have more posts then the political thread

A man can dream can't he?

my dream is one day this thread have more posts then the political thread

A man can dream can't he?
yah but than we would have to make this more politcal. Like the battle between The granny panty land and the Hotties of the thong war. It is just to much bloodshed and i cant shed light on it.