Greenville County, South Carolina has a long, proud tradition (backed by certain statistics) of harboring the worst drivers in the US. Jay Leno once remarked that it dovetailed with our near-bottom scholastic rating, stating “If you’re a South Carolinian with an IQ over 80, you probably have a chauffeur”.

It’s not as though we have a lot of aggressive arseholes here like Boston or Atlanta. Drivers in these here parts are assiduously polite (4-way stops can take approximately forever to clear – YOU go, no, YOU) but seemingly our road pilots are uniquely inept. Maybe it’s part of Southern culture; I don’t know. My puny 8-mile commute seemed to prove the theory today.

First, I was cruising along in the middle lane of semi-urban Wade Hampton Blvd, just keeping up with traffic ahead and passing cars on either side. A City Cop pulled out of the slower left lane and proceeded to tailgate me rather forcefully. He was about 15’ behind at 50 MPH. As soon as an opening appeared, I moved to the right lane. We went on like this for about half a mile, and then the cop started nudging in behind me, even closed than before. Just then a car pulled out from the right and I had to brake very hard to miss it. Little steering was possible in the tight confines. The cop yanked his cruiser left just in time, causing the similarly tailgating Firebird behind him to smoke ‘em. I thought for sure that he’d hit me, but never felt the crunch. The margin couldn’t have been more than an inch or two. He sailed on past, pointedly looking the other way. All in a day’s commute – no harm, no foul, no finger.

Continued...

Page two:

On the drive home, traffic was relatively thin. I sat behind a new Suburban (or whatever they’re called these days). It was first at the light, and the “driver” was yakking on the phone. The light went green and he didn’t notice. The resultant horn symphony had it’s desired effect just after the light turned red, and the ‘Burb lumbered forward against the light, causing a Volvo wagon with requisite multiple kids to brake and turn hard in avoidance. Had the Volvo lacked ABS, it would have been ugly. Seconds later, at the same light, an old hippie (who looked a lot like me) in a rusty Valiant turned left across traffic, precipitating much tire squealing, honking, and helpful hand gestures.

Not two miles up the road, which was now calmly rural, the old Crown Vic in front of me got sideways on the shoulder avoiding a guy obliviously walking across the road while talking on the phone. I’ll be glad when they mandate hands-free phones to eliminate such hazards! Less than a mile ahead, and old Ford van with little kids faces plastered to the windows turned left close in front of me just a half moment after I’d convinced a tailgating monster-ish 4x4 to back off a wee bit.

Today’s commute was not precisely representative – a typical day here includes only about half as many blatant egregious acts. Even so, this is not behavior indicative of a species intent on survival. I publicly wish them well, and secretly hope that Darwin was right. The gene pool in these parts could use a dose of chlorine.

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Sounds like the guy in the F-250 on I-35 this weekend that absolutely insisted that he fill the single car length between me and the other RX-8 I was following. I guess because he signaled that it was alright.

Originally posted by Pavehawk
Sounds like the guy in the F-250 on I-35 this weekend that absolutely insisted that he fill the single car length between me and the other RX-8 I was following. I guess because he signaled that it was alright. You didn't get the memo? Flashing one's indicator is tantamount to a Presidential Edict, and requires all in the vicinity immediately to cede right-of-way without let or hindrance.

Or so it seems.

I used to live in Beaufort...i'm with you Foureagles....

Blinkers? Signal Lights???

It seems nobody in Louisiana has those on their cars. The manufacturers seem to have pulled the turn signals off of every vehicle in the state.

Originally posted by eccles
You didn't get the memo? Flashing one's indicator is tantamount to a Presidential Edict, and requires all in the vicinity immediately to cede right-of-way without let or hindrance.

I especially like the people who can't be bothered to use their signals except when they find themselves unable to cross 3 lanes to get to their exit that's 1/4 mile ahead, then get pissed and start blowing the horn when everybody else fails to immediately open a hole for them. We've got more than our share of those here in the DC area :(

MD_guy - I can attest to that, as well as the geniuses that don't understand why there is an ACCELERATION lane to assist one in MERGING into traffic. Love the many accidents caused as people park their cars in that lane and wait for an oppening to present itself.

The folks around me seem to love to tailgate my 8...I'll be surprised if I can keep the rear end new (as in factory) for more than 6 months here...I hate this area.

Lets face it.. when it comes down to choosing options for the new SUV you *need* to haul your miserable crotch fruit around in.. who wants to spend the money on TURNSIGNALS when you can get a DVD player?

I love the "Neighborhood Saviour" who goes around cussing out people who he believes are speeding on "his" road. Scream all you want buddy, but if you don't have a badge I don't have to listen. ;) I love it when said jerkoffs inform you that you shouldn't speed 'cause their kids play in the street.

I don't drive on your lawn, don't play in my street dammit!

Originally posted by md_guy
I especially like the people who can't be bothered to use their signals except when they find themselves unable to cross 3 lanes to get to their exit that's 1/4 mile aheadI think they're the same people who believe that turning on their four-way hazard flashers gives them the right to double-park in a fire lane for ten minutes while they pick up their dry cleaning.

Foureagles, I haven't the foggiest as to your concern over SC drivers' prowess.

That was funny, right?

Seein' you're up there in Greenville, I'm assuming you're familliar with "Malfunction Junction" down in this neck... I-26/I-20/I-126/378/a-couple-other-secondaries all come together in a 1-mile clusterf#@k. You know it if you've gone to a SC beach, you would have had to drive thru it, right?

I go thru it every workday... twice. It's part of my 38-mile commute. I get to work with a crisp wide-awake aire every day, thanks to that. And, I'm wide-awake when I get home from work too. :D It's also a main reason why I rarely drive my 8 to work - I drive my nimble MX-6 (poor thing).

Some days, I feel like getting one of those F-150's with the tubular front & rear cowcatchers, know what I mean? Just kidding (most of the time anyway :( )