BRx8
01-14-2004, 11:27 AM
i must be going to hell...i'm in direct violation of quite a few of these...
This is it. So it has been written, so it shall be....
1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate.
2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.
3. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-
limits forever.
4. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
5. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.
6. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
7. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his
permission and he in return is required to grant it.
8. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
9. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem-you didn't see
nothin'.
10. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
11. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.
12. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
13. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.
14. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
15. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
16. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers." "Nice ass, are you a
Sagittarius?"
17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
18. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.
19. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response.
20. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal
footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other
situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.
21. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you
may not join him.
This is it. So it has been written, so it shall be....
1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate.
2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.
3. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-
limits forever.
4. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
5. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.
6. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
7. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his
permission and he in return is required to grant it.
8. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
9. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem-you didn't see
nothin'.
10. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
11. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.
12. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
13. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.
14. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
15. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
16. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers." "Nice ass, are you a
Sagittarius?"
17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
18. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.
19. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response.
20. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal
footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other
situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.
21. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you
may not join him.