**THIS IS A SERIOUS THREAD. SERIOUS ADVICE AND COMMENTS ONLY**

So I met this girl about a month about and things have been great. We finally decided to take things to the next level sexually. The only catch is that she does have herpes. I know everybody is going to laugh but at least she did the decent thing and told me prior to us dating.

She's had it for about 12 years now and she says her outbreaks are only once or twice a year. From my understanding, the longer you have the virus generally the less you have outbreaks.

She has told me that her past partners have not caught the virus nor has her ex-husband of 5 years.

I just want to know if anybody has any experience with this sort of situation. If you don't feel comfortable posting but have some good advice, don't be afraid to PM me. i will keep everything confidential.

I know protection (condoms) are somewhat of a help but I've heard of other things as well (mainly like a condom with more coverage for less skin on skin contact).

I know a lot of people will say "hey,if you care about her go for it" and yes, I do care about her and at the same time I care about my health and protection.

1) get her on valtrex if she isnt already
2) condoms
3) learn what her outbreak periods are, they come in cycles like aunt flo.
4) proper hygiene care by you following fornication

She currently is on medication. Not on a daily regiment, only during outbreaks.

And surprisingly I read on a few different websites, washing with hydrogen peroxide after intercourse kills the virus.

If it were me personally, I wouldn't risk it. I'd move on.

FWIW: Why are you posting the question on a forum where you have 0 posts?

Wow that sucks... I'd research the hp wash because I would think that would burn like hell!!!

I say do it! :) Just play safe...that's all...

Wow that sucks... I'd research the hp wash because I would think that would burn like hell!!!

I say do it! :) Just play safe...that's all...

why would the peroxide wash hurt (unless there was an open/infected wound of some kind which would hurt/suck to begin with and would want to get it cleaned out, even if the other party had no possible STD to pass on)? girls use it as a developer on both top of the head and nether region while dying their hair.. never heard them complain and that is quite a sensitive area.

why would the peroxide wash hurt (unless there was an open/infected wound of some kind which would hurt/suck to begin with and would want to get it cleaned out, even if the other party had no possible STD to pass on)? girls use it as a developer on both top of the head and nether region while dying their hair.. never heard them complain and that is quite a sensitive area.

well chances are you'll still be uh 'standing strong' and that does stretch out the skin on your dingaling....hydrogen peroxide is a very small particle. If gold bond hurts, H2O2 will too.

but to answer the OP, the fact that she has herpes means that in all likelihood the chance dictates that you will get it eventually. So if you can deal with having it and controlling it then, god bless your relationship, but otherwise its gonna be tough to have a normal thing with someone like that

I know that after intercourse I am very sensitive & everything burns including soap, sperm...anything...:)

well chances are you'll still be uh 'standing strong' and that does stretch out the skin on your dingaling....hydrogen peroxide is a very small particle. If gold bond hurts, H2O2 will too.

do i want to know why you have decided to cover your "dingaling" in gold bond? and which gold bond product might have been used? hopefully not the foot spray :|

and he should not be standing strong.. hopefully his ejection from the pilot seat has already occured and he has come to a safe landing...

I know that after intercourse I am very sensitive & everything burns including soap...:)

much more sensitive area for females... more "overly sensitive areas open/exposed".

Hm, not sure. I always thought the outbreaks were on a monthly basis. Furthermore, the more she "persuades" you that you won't get it (because her such and such's in the past have not), the more it seems to me that she's not really that concerned about you and just wants in your pants. :p:

Even when not on an outbreak, it is still "contagious"... I'd be careful.

ip check plz.

Hm, not sure. I always thought the outbreaks were on a monthly basis. Furthermore, the more she "persuades" you that you won't get it (because her such and such's in the past have not), the more it seems to me that she's not really that concerned about you and just wants in your pants. :p:

Even when not on an outbreak, it is still "contagious"... I'd be careful.

negative... its only contagious during periods of outbreaks. even though signs of an outbreak may not be present, it is only contagious during that time. that is why it needs to be recognized by her when her typical outbreak time is.

^^ It's probably just someone else on the forum who's too shy to post under their real name. :D: :D:

shrug.. they have had an account since december.

Read up on it and make up your mind accordingly. On TV they say that someting like 20% of the population has it, true or not I dunno. Even with the medications that they sell there is reportedly no such thing as a cure and it will hang with you the rest of your life and probably affect any future relationships that you have because there definitely is a stigma attached to it.

Basically if you decide to do the deed protect yourself and try not to get it, because if you do and things don't work out you are going to be in the shoes that she is in right now with a future partner having to make this sort of call. If you do get it, apparently it's pretty common and aside from people who get it in their eyes' I haven't heard any horror stories about flesh eating herpes killing people. (Although I have read about people with weird sexual eye fetishes that have had some seriously gross complications from getting it in their eyes.)

Hey, I'd say she deserves at least a high five and a thank you for giving you the heads up on this one, you might have had to give an ass whippin if she didn't tell you up front.

at least she told you. alot of people now adays are so self centered.

if you do the deed just make sure you are fully knowledgable about precautions and reprecussions.

if my girl hid something like that from me, well, not sure what to say, wouldnt be on the board, unless prison has comps.

negative... its only contagious during periods of outbreaks. even though signs of an outbreak may not be present, it is only contagious during that time. that is why it needs to be recognized by her when her typical outbreak time is.

False. It's always contagious. It's just MOST contagious during an outbreak. Not worth the risk in my opinion. Trade in that broken down model for a new one.

Must be a bug chaser.

I heard on TV the other day that 20-25% of people have herpes, depending on area. Don't really know if that's true, but that's a lot of people.

LOL gotta love the new owners and their advertising campaign

Below, add for Genital Herpes Pictures

^ :lol: cause I totally want to see that!

Personally, I'd wait for the relationship to progress more first. Make sure it's a long term thing, THEN decide. NTM, that should provide a bit of leverage to be your hummer chic for a while....

At some point(after a diamond is purchased) you jsut have to give up oand assume it will be contracted and put her on the pill and forget about wrapping it up...

That was a serious answer, whether you take it as such or not is yoru choice.

think with your big head not the small one

In a relationship for a month with a viral-infected divorcee and you are just now contemplating sex?
I don't know which of the two of you is more damaged.

Hit delete on this one and grow a backbone.

This is a lifelong disease homesqueeze. She'll be long gone and you'll be stuck with a one a day pill and some ulcers on your lil friend every year to remind you of her.

In a relationship for a month with a viral-infected divorcee and you are just now contemplating sex?
I don't know which of the two of you is more damaged.

Hit delete on this one and grow a backbone.

easily one of your top avatars EVER.

easily one of your top avatars EVER.

And totally disease-free!

Run for the HILLS!

And totally disease-free!

huge bonus.

huge bonus.

Yeah, his avatars have at times given me a huge bonus, too. :lol:

even if she isnt having an outbreak and u wear a condom there is still a chance, albeit a small one that u can still contract the disease. how hot is she? if she is smoking hot then weigh the odds. remember, if you do contract it from her there are dating sites such as positivematch.com where u can meet other people w herpes.

honestly, the best advice that we can give you is that you really should be consulting your primary care physician about such matters. and, always use good common sense, be safe, and don't do anything that you might regret.

that said, did anyone else notice that the banners on this page are linked to the topics? (see attachment)

i wonder what "ads" we might see if someone started a thread along the lines of "so, i axe murdered my wife." hahahaha

:lol:

Get her a STD Plush Toy! http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/herpes.html

Being infected wit herpes makes you more susceptible to HIV. I personally agree with MM and recommend pushing delete while you can still do so easily. There are at least a few hundred million other potential clients.

Dude, wait it out a few months and see if the relationship is going anywhere before putting yourself at risk.

Waiting it out will make it worth it if you guys can really last without sexual intimancy. It shows a stronger connection than most relationships who are just in it for the great unprotected disease free sex.

Get her a STD Plush Toy! http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/herpes.html

WTF?! No AIDS?????

it ain't time yet, shes probably just horny. buw how nice of her to let u know.

These are the last people on Earth I would ask for sexual advice... :)

it ain't time yet, shes probably just horny. buw how nice of her to let u know.

that's what broomsticks and KY hers is for.

These are the last people on Earth I would ask for sexual advice... :)

:lol: You know them all too well~

OP, what struck me was the fact she went into detail about just how many partners she's had.... Now I know things are not as conservative as they are now, but GEEZZZ. She's mentioned this yes, but what is she leaving out??

She's managed to convince at least that many men to knowingly sleep with her??? Not a character building quality in a relationship that I'd be looking for. I'd say she's in revenge mode, and instead of hiding it, she's making it seem like it's not as bad as it is.

This is your call, but I don't know if I would really want to risk the rest of my life, and dreams of family and such, on a "you shouldn't catch it either"......


EDIT: I talked to my GYN, and he told me that Herpes can lay dormant in the human body all a person's life, and they never know they are infected if they never have an outbreak, but they can pass it on.

Just because a past partner has not exhibited symptoms, does not mean they are not carriers, and 5 years is not even close to being considered STD free if you are exposed and don't have any symptoms. IF you have not slept with this woman his recommendation is for you not to. No amount of protection can prevent an exposure if you get intimate.

Do you guys not realize that the OP has NEVER EVER posted a car related , let along an RX-8 related comment?!

Here's a list of ALL of his posts: http://www.rx8club.com/search.php?searchid=3768586


SUCKERS....

Get her a STD Plush Toy! http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/herpes.html

I totally love those! I've been thinking about decorating my office with them for awhile now (medical related job, so it's not totally creepy). I've just been waiting until I get my own house first. I don't want to take them to work with me, but I don't have room for them in my current home office. Grrrr!!!!

Do you guys not realize that the OP has NEVER EVER posted a car related , let along an RX-8 related comment?!

Here's a list of ALL of his posts: http://www.rx8club.com/search.php?searchid=3768586


SUCKERS....

Um, if you read his very first post, he already admits he's a long time forum member just hiding his identity... nothing wrong with that. :p:

Herpes virus can be transmitted even when there are no lesions visable.

Herpes is forever and once you get them you can transmit them - they are a gift that keeps on giving....

Herpes is sort of the tip of the iceberg - Espstien Barr, bacterial STDs and HIV are commonly found in Herpes carriers...

But since morals and marriage on not on the books, and since you never plan to have children - go ahead - it's Darwinian and you have need to remove your genes from the pool some how........This is as good a begining as any!

russian roulette with the schweenus = fail

Um, if you read his very first post, he already admits he's a long time forum member just hiding his identity... nothing wrong with that. :p:
I'm not so sure about the "long time" part but I guess that's all relative. ;)

I'm still waiting to see if he admits to doing it or not. If so we'll have a new contestant on "Name That Disease".

I'd pass on dat' @$$

My Girlfriends sister is married to a guy that has herpes. He's had it for like 10ish years. They've never had a problem. They just know when and when not to and are smart enough to use protection. If you like her that much then go for it.

The fact that you might actually be serious about this is enough to invite a troll like Granny rant::rant:

Do your parents know what you are doing???? Have you talked to them lately?
Do you even have parents? Or maybe grandparents, or someone who cares about you? Maybe a rehab councilor or a parole officer? :spank:

Look – go to your local drug dealer and ask him about STDs and premature sex. This is something so sad, and so sordid, that some people might think it is like a joke – but you just might be serious!!!… and if you are, we must suspect you have no one who loves you enough to tell you – RUN AWAY…DANGER WILL ROBINSON! (And you already knew this or you wouldn’t have asked (boasted) about the mess you are in!):Eyecrazy:

Don’t engage in sex until you want to have children. That is what the toy hanging out front is for – it is the way you make new people! Yes, this is where babies come from!!!! :evil_laug

And if you use it for fun and games you can damage it and it won’t work so good, and the rest of the frame, to which it is attached, won’t work so good anymore. either. And you shouldn’t have gotten so far off the map that you are asking a Car Club for advice on your sex life????? Man, we are apt to see you at a rally or something – no wonder no one wants to wave to 8 owners!!!!:uh:

Put sugar in your gas tank to feed the horse power! Cut all the wires under your hood to save energy! Poke holes in your tires to equalize pressure! Paint your car with Krylon and put a Cross Fire grill on the front for rice..And get drunk and race Hulk Hogan’ son… But – Stop messing around with sex and diseases until you are old enough and wise enough to support a kid! Then, and only then, find a clean chick, both of you get a medical exam, get married and have the family that you seem so desperately to be missing! :kiss:

This is not shopping for love, this is driving wrong way on the freeway of life, with one wheel off and no seat belt! And even talking about it, especially here, is so dumb that it will damage the resale value of everyone’s car! No one will want your kooties!!!:iwstupid:

Now go to your local doctor and get a test for AIDs as well as Herpes! You might also ask for a brain scan, ‘cause yours does not seem to be working….Remember - Early treatment can help!:MissileSm

^yeah what she said dude, get it together, you will be happier if you don't knowing that you have some respect for yourself.

What she said.

This is kind of long but it's stuff you really need to know:

Excerpts from CDC notes on Herpes – sorry I could not post useful pictures of pathological conditions
http://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment/2006/genital-ulcers.htm

What are the symptoms of genital herpes?

Genital herpes often doesn’t cause any symptoms. If you do have symptoms, you might notice:
· Painful blisters or sores on or around the genitals or anus.
These sores typically heal within two to four weeks.
· Feeling like you have the flu when the sores are present.
· Sores that come back several times within a year.
The presence of the sores is called an outbreak.

There are two types of genital herpes virus - HSV1 and HSV2. Both types can cause sores or blisters on or around the genitals. HSV1 can also cause sores on the mouth or lips, which are called fever blisters.

How does someone get genital herpes?
· You can get genital herpes by having sex with someone who has it. “Having sex” means having anal, oral, or vaginal sex.

· You can also get genital herpes if your genitals touch the infected skin or secretions (like saliva through oral sex) of someone who has it. ·

You can get genital herpes even if your partner shows no signs of the infection

What can I expect to happen if I have genital herpes?

You can expect to have several outbreaks (usually four or five) a year. Over time you can expect to have fewer outbreaks.

You have a higher chance of getting an HIV infection if you have unprotected sex with a partner living with HIV.

Knowing that you have genital herpes may make you feel worried or sad. Talk with a doctor about your concerns.

PREGNANT WOMEN

You could pass the infection to your baby.
· If you have active genital herpes when you go into labor, the doctor may do a cesarean delivery (“C-section”).
· Be sure to tell your doctor if you or your partner has genital herpes.

Management of Patients Who Have Genital Ulcers

In the United States, the majority of young, sexually active patients who have genital ulcers have either genital herpes, syphilis, or chancroid. The frequency of each condition differs by geographic area and patient population; however, genital herpes is the most prevalent of these diseases. More than one of these diseases can be present in a patient who has genital ulcers. All three of these diseases has been associated with an increased risk for HIV infection. …all patients who have genital ulcers should be evaluated with a serologic test for syphilis and a diagnostic evaluation for genital herpes; antigen test for HSV; and

Genital HSV Infections

Genital herpes is a chronic, life-long viral infection. Two types of HSV have been identified, HSV-1 and HSV-2. The majority of cases of recurrent genital herpes are caused by HSV-2 although HSV-1 might become more common as a cause of first episode genital herpes. At least 50 million persons in the United States have genital HSV infection. ….The majority of genital herpes infections are transmitted by persons unaware that they have the infection or who are asymptomatic when transmission occurs.

Virologic Tests

Isolation of HSV in cell culture is the preferred virologic test for patients who seek medical treatment for genital ulcers or other mucocutaneous lesions. However, the sensitivity of culture is low, especially for recurrent lesions, and declines rapidly as lesions begin to heal. PCR assays for HSV DNA are more sensitive and have been used instead of viral culture …. PCR is the test of choice for detecting HSV in spinal fluid for diagnosis of HSV infection of the central nervous system (CNS)..

Because nearly all HSV-2 infections are sexually acquired, the presence of type-specific HSV-2 antibody implies anogenital infection and education and counseling appropriate for persons with genital herpes should be provided.

Type-specific HSV serologic assays might be useful in the following scenarios:
1) recurrent genital symptoms or atypical symptoms with negative HSV cultures; 2) a clinical diagnosis of genital herpes without laboratory confirmation;
and 3) a partner with genital herpes. Some specialists believe that HSV serologic testing should be included in a comprehensive evaluation for STDs among persons with multiple sex partners, HIV infection, and among MSM at increased risk for HIV acquisition.

Principles of Management of Genital Herpes

Antiviral chemotherapy offers clinical benefits to the majority of symptomatic patients and is the mainstay of management. Counseling regarding the natural history of genital herpes, sexual and perinatal transmission, and methods to reduce transmission is integral to clinical management.

Systemic antiviral drugs can partially control the signs and symptoms of herpes episodes when used to treat first clinical and recurrent episodes, or when used as daily suppressive therapy. However, these drugs neither eradicate latent virus nor affect the risk, frequency, or severity of recurrences after the drug is discontinued. Randomized trials have indicated that three antiviral medications provide clinical benefit for genital herpes: acyclovir, valacyclovir, and famciclovir (72– 80). Valacyclovir is the valine ester of acyclovir and has enhanced absorption after oral administration. Famciclovir also has high oral bioavailability. Topical therapy with antiviral drugs offers minimal clinical benefit, and its use is discouraged.

First Clinical Episode of Genital Herpes

Many persons with first-episode herpes have mild clinical manifestations but later develop severe or prolonged symptoms. Therefore, patients with initial genital herpes should receive antiviral therapy.

The majority of patients with symptomatic, first-episode genital HSV-2 infection subsequently experience recurrent episodes of genital lesions; Intermittent asymptomatic shedding occurs in persons with genital HSV-2 infection, even in those with longstanding or clinically silent infection. Some persons might prefer suppressive therapy, which has the additional advantage of decreasing the risk of genital HSV-2 transmission to susceptible partners (81).

Suppressive Therapy for Recurrent Genital Herpes

Suppressive therapy reduces the frequency of genital herpes…Safety and efficacy have been documented among patients receiving daily therapy with acyclovir for as long as 6 years..

Daily treatment with valacyclovir 500 mg daily decreases the rate of HSV-2 transmission in discordant, heterosexual couples in which the source partner has a history of genital HSV-2 infection (82).

Such couples should be encouraged to consider suppressive antiviral therapy as part of a strategy to prevent transmission, in addition to consistent condom use and avoidance of sexual activity during recurrences. Suppressive antiviral therapy probably reduces transmission when used by persons who have multiple partners (including MSM) and by those who are HSV-2 seropositive without a history of genital herpes.

Recommended Regimens

Acyclovir 400 mg orally twice a day
OR
Famiciclovir 250 mg orally twice a day
OR
Valacyclovir 500 mg orally once a day
OR
Valacyclovir 1.0 g orally once a day
Valacyclovir 500 mg once a day might be less effective than other valacyclovir or acyclovir dosing regimens in patients who have very frequent recurrences (i.e., ≥10 episodes per year). Several studies have compared valacyclovir or famciclovir with acyclovir. The results of these studies suggest that valacyclovir and famciclovir are comparable to acyclovir in clinical outcome (74,78,79,83). Ease of administration and cost also are important considerations for prolonged treatment.

Episodic Therapy for Recurrent Genital Herpes
Effective episodic treatment of recurrent herpes requires initiation of therapy within 1 day of lesion onset or during the prodrome that precedes some outbreaks. The patient should be provided with a supply of drug or a prescription for the medication with instructions to initiate treatment immediately when symptoms begin.

Severe Disease

Intravenous (IV) acyclovir therapy should be provided for patients who have severe HSV disease or complications that necessitate hospitalization (e.g., disseminated infection, pneumonitis, or hepatitis) or CNS complications (e.g., meningitis or encephalitis). The recommended regimen is acyclovir 5–10 mg/kg body weight IV every 8 hours for 2–7 days or until clinical improvement is observed, followed by oral antiviral therapy to complete at least 10 days of total therapy.

Recommended Regimens

Acyclovir 400 mg orally three times a day for 5 days
OR
Acyclovir 800 mg orally twice a day for 5 days
OR
Acyclovir 800 mg orally three times a day for 2 days
OR
Famciclovir 125 mg orally twice daily for 5 days
OR
Famciclovir 1000 mg orally twice daily for 1 day
OR
Valacyclovir 500 mg orally twice a day for 3 days
OR
Valacyclovir 1.0 g orally once a day for 5 days

Counseling

Counseling of infected persons and their sex partners is critical to the management of genital herpes. The goal of counseling is to
1) help patients cope with the infection and
2) prevent sexual and perinatal transmission (8). Although initial counseling can be provided at the first visit, many patients benefit from learning about the chronic aspects of the disease after the acute illness subsides.

Multiple resources, including websites (http://www.ashastd.org and http://www.ihmf.org) and printed materials are available to assist patients, their partners, and clinicians in counseling.

The psychological effect of HSV infection frequently is substantial. Common concerns regarding genital herpes include the severity of initial clinical manifestations, recurrent episodes, sexual relationships and transmission to sex partners, and ability to bear healthy children..

The following recommendations apply to counseling of persons with HSV infection:
·
Persons who have genital herpes should be educated concerning the natural history of the disease, with emphasis on the potential for recurrent episodes, asymptomatic viral shedding, and the attendant risks of sexual transmission.

·All persons with genital HSV infection should be encouraged to inform their current sex partners that they have genital herpes and to inform future partners before initiating a sexual relationship.

·Sexual transmission of HSV can occur during asymptomatic periods. Asymptomatic viral shedding is more frequent in genital HSV-2 infection than genital HSV-1 .
·
Recent studies indicate that latex condoms, when used consistently and correctly, might reduce the risk for genital herpes transmission (15,16).

·Sex partners of infected persons should be advised that they might be infected even if they have no symptoms.

·The risk for neonatal HSV infection should be explained to all persons, including men. Pregnant women and women of childbearing age who have genital herpes should inform their providers who care for them during pregnancy and those who will care for their newborn infant. Pregnant women who are not infected with HSV-2 should be advised to avoid intercourse during the third trimester with men who have genital herpes. Similarly, pregnant women who are not infected with HSV-1 should be counseled to avoid genital exposure to HSV-1 during the third trimester (e.g., oral sex with a partner with oral herpes and vaginal intercourse with a partner with genital HSV-1 infection).

·Asymptomatic persons diagnosed with HSV-2 infection by type-specific serologic testing should receive the same counseling messages as persons with symptomatic infection.

In addition, such persons should be taught about the clinical manifestations of genital herpes.
.

Dude, I know you asked for serious comments, but what an assinine thread. The answer is obvious. Run before you D@#$ falls off!!

You've been dating for a month and odds are good that she's not the 'one', the relationship will end in shambles and you'll scare off the 'one' with your red, bumpy, puss dripping weiner. Then you'll probably die alone.

Not worth it. I've run from it, so should you.

FWIW: Why are you posting the question on a forum where you have 0 posts?
check his IP to see what his real identity is :)

get herpes yet OP?

I'm sure the Mods already know who he is from the IP address...

Crav: :rollingla Soooo mean!!!

Love is something you cannot control... If you are inlove and plan to stay with her then by all means be careful about it.

Lust is something you can control so if this is all it is then move on!