My girl today said something that almost made me sh*t myself......

GF " Baby are those lights HD's????"
ME "Yeah, they make everything infront of you look like they are acutally there....."

lmao, at least i thought it was funny...........:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Let me here what all you guys have?????

jajajaj thats cold man

"90 percent of soccer is physical, the other half is mental."

jajajajaja.

"No one have ever made me orgasm before..."

Totally killed my moment...

"No one have ever made me orgasm before..."

Totally killed my moment...

Don't tell me during the session???

"No one has ever made me orgasm before..."

Totally killed my moment...

HAHA, I've had a girl say that to me before. FYI I got her to pop that very night.

Me: so youre 5 feet tall huh?

Her: Ya, but at least im not 4' 12"....



Another time we were at a show and someone came up asking us to sign something about saving fur and stuff, so she signs it with her name and email with a quote of "yay fur!"

Sounds like blond jokes lol

Sounds like blond jokes lol

Shes philipino >.>

Don't tell me during the session???

Yep...

Her: "I think my last boyfriend gave me genital warts. You'll be there for me right?"

Me: -Sound of me walking away
-Sound of me starting car
-Sound of me driving away at rapid rate of speed

"Hawaii is the 51st state"

I couldn't even comprehend that one.

after SE3P's comment... this thread is pretty sad.

i have a few quotes of my an ex heh heh heh.

1) "It's still food cuz you put it in your mouth and swallow it." (referencing ketchup)

2) (Looking at a squirrel that seemed to have lost all its fur) "He looks like he's been scalped all over his body! His face, his body, his face!"

3) "You're punishing me for being stupid!"

4) (At a booth that gave out free tea samples) "So when I got my free teabag today..."

5) (With Tim Horton's 'Roll Up The Rim to Win' event...) You've infected me with roll up the rim to LOSE!"

6) There's a sock in my shoe! (She meant there was a rock in her shoe)

7) Me: Your socks were mismatched and polkadotted!
Her: They were not polkadotted!

after SE3P's comment... this thread is pretty sad.

You're welcome. :)

^don't worry, I have never had a gf, oh did I just say that... ugh

Eh, I see what my friends go through. One of my friend gf told me she had a dildo just to spark conversation, she was kinda messed, wanted his babies too.

^don't worry, I have never had a gf, oh did I just say that... ugh

Eh, I see what my friends go through. One of my friend gf told me she had a dildo just to spark conversation, she was kinda messed, wanted his babies too.

You have a gf, her name is Mazda.

"we just hit something didn't we" after I clearly drove over something on the freeway

I see a lot of posts that you guys should have turned around and said, "Here's Your Sign".

"I care about you"

"I care about you"

isnt that dumbest thing you said to your girlfriend, versus dumbest thing she has said... same as "will you marry me", or "I love you".

does antifreeze glow in the dark?

My EX thought Alaska was an island. (look at a map, it hangs out in the Pacific like Hawaii)

So when I asked her what island she wanted to go to on vacation, meaning which Hawaiin island . . . . .


"Lets go the the Alaskan Island"

^maybe she meant the aleuatians (sp) jk

You have a gf, her name is Mazda.

ahh, good point :)

Well, my husband was just eating an icy and got brain freeze in the middle of a thought. So I started to tell him to put his thumb on the roof of his mouth.....and I looked over and he put his thumb under his chin and asked: "What is this supposed to do?

I almost peed myself laughing so damn hard!

Ex gf from a long time ago (back in okinawa japan).

Ex- (holding a bottle of white out) what is White out?
me- its use to white out mistakes.
Ex- ????? what kind of mistakes
me- mistakes by using a pen, sorta like a erasure for pens.
ex- pens dont have erasure's
me- i know, that is why we use white to correct the mistakes.
ex- I dont get what you are saying.
me- Whats for lunch? want to eat at a ramen house, or shushi house?

^

1. erasable pen
http://www.jetpens.com/images/uni_um-101_er-05_.33.jpg

2. it's eraser, not erasure

:lol: Nice subj change, Alfy.

^

1. erasable pen


2. it's eraser, not erasure my bad, japanese is my first language. so i have a tendacy to write in japanese pronucation (bad habbit i must kick). but ty for the correction.

sweet. can you teach me cus words?

sweet. can you teach me cus words?:lol: anatawa kusotare, ill send pm tell you what that means :)

pronunciation key too please :P

:lol: Nice subj change, Alfy.
LOL thanks kari /bow

oh i thought Las Vegas was a state.

oh i thought Las Vegas was a state.

got yourself a mini kellie pickler.

my ex GF- "Is california a Country"
Me- ".......uhhhhhh yeeeah?/..lol..."

^ahahahhahahahahahhahhaha

no but texas is =D

^^^....haha..ah thats an even better answer I should have
thought of something like that...lol

^^ Says the Texan.. :p:

common guys keep it rolling....

Are girls not required to take geography anymore? Seriously, what a bunch of ditzes!!!! :rofl:

Reminds me of that twit from South Carolina, as in "the Iraq." LOL!

Quotes from another ex...

Me: "Is it a millipede or a centipede?"
Her: "Alotapede! Alotapede!"

"Do you think they'll ever have laser allergy removal? They should have it. They have laser everything other removal. I bet they could zap your nose off."

"Are you gonna clean the things... you know... babies poop in it... diapers."

"Oh my fucking God there's a huge fly in my room! Stay where you are I'm gonna catch the fuck out of you!"

"What's that quote? To spite my face by eating my nose?"

"You know sunblock is the opposite of cum. External use only. Do not swallow. Avoid contact with eyes. Keep out of reach of children, except where it tells you to apply liberally to face and body. Oh and to use care in ensuring complete coverage."

Her: "Are you calling me roround?!"
Me: "You mean rotund?"

Her: "Are those the defects?"
Me: "You mean defectors?"

^ She sounds really "special." :)

her: who is Armani?
me: ..............

^ She sounds really "special." :)

She's a smart girl (just about finished her MBA), but sometimes she has a tendency of words tripping over themselves because she thinks too fast. I've done that too... like saying "there's a readicle" instead of "there's an article you should read".

Me- I want a jeep wrangler with no doors
Ex- So how are we supposed to get in...?
Me- -.-

Me- I want a jeep wrangler with no doors
Ex- So how are we supposed to get in...?
Me- -.-


that was damn funny.

girl: i put it in it poped out. i put it in, it poped out, i put it in, it poped out so i grabbed it and rubbed it clean. i put it in and it started to play.

She was talking about a CD not playing in her car.

"do they still make baseball cards? or did they get replaced by pokemon or something?"

Me- I want a jeep wrangler with no doors
Ex- So how are we supposed to get in...?
Me- -.-

hahaha

hey, most of the time girls dont know about cars, so this one just let it go

ahh, the days when I tried to tell people what's a rotary engine.............

Hern, that was hilarious!!

"You know sunblock is the opposite of cum. External use only. Do not swallow. Avoid contact with eyes. Keep out of reach of children, except where it tells you to apply liberally to face and body. Oh and to use care in ensuring complete coverage."

best post yet.

me: i just got a new car, its a RX8
her: well at least since its stick itll be good on gas

^ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this happened when i picked up my X from her house, her brother is a little ricer.. he's actually older than me and drives a crappy civic.

i get her in the car and her brother pulls up and revs his little rice shitter.

so i rev back to put his rev to shame.. just cause i can.

the following comments were said and are not being altered.

Her: Your Spoiler is so loud.

Me: its stock.

her: then why is it so loud.

She was talking about the exhaust -_-.

Dumbest Thing Your Girlfriend Ever Said...

I Do :lol:

Now she is my wife and in it for the long haul!

I Do :lol:

Now she is my wife and in it for the long haul!

Ha! Nice one :)

This thread is funny. I'm glad I don't say dumb things. :D:

nice thread

I Do :lol:
You beat me to it. It will be 8 years this fall.

And in defense for the fairer sex, for every "dumb" thing your girls have said, I can find 3-fold posted by many of you on this forum.

Joanna: "billy, i have something to say butt idk how your gna think of it but...... i love you..?"

Me: "uhhhh..... wuht? wait wuht? huh? what did you jus say? you wanna get Dairy Queen? "

but of course after i said i rub her too.. =] but i dont mean it, i just wanted to tap a lil more of it.... =/

Joanna: "billy, i have something to say butt idk how your gna think of it but...... i love you..?"

Me: "uhhhh..... wuht? wait wuht? huh? what did you jus say? you wanna get Dairy Queen? "

but of course after i said i rub her too.. =] but i dont mean it, i just wanted to tap a lil more of it.... =/

I dont think I could honestly do that... I'm a bit too nice I guess lol.

yeah, my girls pretty smart, so the things she says that come off as a WTF i tend to ignore.

but i do remember she came into the living room and asked which shoe looked better, the white one, or the white one......




apparently, my eyes couldnt tell the differance in the white and off white, but it was there.

Not sure if that is dumb or not, but i thought it was kinda eh

"I kinda cheated on you while you were in Iraq"

This was my fiance

This is very convinient,

On Saturday I was bleeding the brakes on my car. When my gf asked what I was doing, I told her "bleeding my brakes" too which she replied "there is blood in your brakes?" After a few beers and laying in the hot hot sun, this had me hysterical. So cute, but so not smrt.

"I kinda cheated on you while you were in Iraq"

This was my fiance

And when was it that she told you that?.........:squint:

AFTER we got back from the caribean cruise...... fucking whore.....

how does one "kinda cheat".. either you do or dont.

oral and anal doesn't count as sex. duh.

Well wanted........C4 burns real good.........

oral and anal doesn't count as sex. duh.

so then that wouldnt be cheating.. not kind of not cheating.. or something like that :banghead: :dunno:

depends, if she feels naughty after not cheating, it counts as kinda cheating, but not really since it wasn't cheating.

well doesnt everyone feel naughty after any fornication? so that make it possible to cheat on your g/f with your g/f? but not really since it was anal or oral and therefore it wasnt cheating?

i just made a date with my gf not to have sex tonight. hell yeas!

when the girl thinks you'll find out somehow.. that's when it's "kinda" cheating

Uh yeah, there is no I kinda cheated. I supported her the whole time I was overseas in my place, rent, phone, car, elec, cable, internet, spending cash and the big one, tuition. Not to mention the 3k ring. Photo here http://www.rx8club.com/showthread.php?t=116022

Yup, I got taken for a ride.

Did she give you back YOUR ring?

Yes, and you guys are going to love this, my mom liked the ring so much, she bought it from me and is wearing my engagement ring. Go ahead and lol

ahahahaha, funny funny

Yes, and you guys are going to love this, my mom liked the ring so much, she bought it from me and is wearing my engagement ring. Go ahead and lol

As long as you didn't get on one knee in front of her. :spank:

can we call you E. Rex now?

He's momma's special boy :)

Yes, and you guys are going to love this, my mom liked the ring so much, she bought it from me and is wearing my engagement ring. Go ahead and lol

ha!ha! (nelson from simpsons)

aww, man that really sucks, but she wasn't the right person clearly :icon_no2:

Ex gf--- Do yo believe in dinosaurs???

Me--- on the floor laughing!

Yes, and you guys are going to love this, my mom liked the ring so much, she bought it from me and is wearing my engagement ring. Go ahead and lol

Don't really blame your mom... the ring is gorgeous! Too bad you had to orignially waste it on an ungrateful whore. :)

It really was a lovely ring; I shopped for two months in six different states to find that ring. I know my gems so I'm very picky. On a side note, I have an emerald necklace that was custom made in New York. I hand picked the emerald, diamond, setting and chain. It has an IGA appraisal that I had done. Let me know if anyone is interested, and before anyone says anything, no my mom didn’t want to buy it :P

^^ I'm sure that it's pretty. Can't afford those kinds of luxuries, but you should post a pic if you really want serious inquiries. (Plus I'm nosey!) :D:

Not GF,but working on it.

Me: what's the cube of 4?
Her: 32
Me:Wconfused
Her: 4*4 is 16, 4*4 is 32

me: hey i got a rx8
GF: really some kid died on one of those last week he was riding a wheelie and wrecked
me:its a car not a bike lol
GF:oh

ohh and another one.:

Nancy: [reading a romance book and shes emphasizing a line form the book sending me a indirect message.] "Only love comes from the bottom of someones heart but what does that truly mean when Love should be from the whole heart itself"?

Me: well, mabe it means that love comes from deep inside but really LOVE is just an over rated thing. ohh when are you leaving your housee???? IM MAD HORNY!


now looking back..i was very ignorant and selffish..but damn ..noones perfect~

22 years ago: "When are we gonna get married?"

17 years ago: "When are we gonna have a baby?"

Last week: "When can I retire?"

Don't really blame your mom... the ring is gorgeous! Too bad you had to orignially waste it on an ungrateful whore. :)

at least she accepted it. not like, oh lets say, he gave her a ring for xmas and she didnt like it and never wore it......:SHOCKED:

Uh, oh......................

Uh yeah, there is no I kinda cheated. I supported her the whole time I was overseas in my place, rent, phone, car, elec, cable, internet, spending cash and the big one, tuition. Not to mention the 3k ring. Photo here http://www.rx8club.com/showthread.php?t=116022

Yup, I got taken for a ride.

I thought someone else did? and thats the problem?

I'll post some pics when I get home Jenn, I'm TDY at the moment, imagin that....

"it took me 15 minutes to finally get my gas cap open...I couldn't find the button to open it so I had to go inside and ask the attendant for help...i felt so embarassed"


um...yeah.

This thread came out pretty good...

BTW sorry to hear about the whore/wife thing....

Don't give up there is someone for everyone.............

I was driving with my high school sweetheart:

(as we drove past a deer caution sign)
her: (serious face, looks at me) How do the deer know to cross there?
me: (speechless for a few seconds)
me: (as nicely as I could say without laughing in her face) Its just a caution to let you know that deer cross the road in this area.
her: OHHH... hehehe... I feel stupid!
me: (speechless once again)

I know... sounds like a blonde joke, but its a true story!!!

"well maybe we could jack my dad off somewhere"

talking about taking her dad's bike if we saw him to go riding

mysql just blew my mind, now I must go eat someone else's

This one still makes me smile:

"She's a moron, she can't be teached"

:lol2:

her quote as we went thru the plane sensors...i forgot water was a liquid

Back in college, my girl friend (now wife) was studying for her midterm exam. She spend a good two days studying for it. Finally, the night before her exam, she asked me to quiz her some of the questions.

after the quiz, which she did very well, she then asked me:

"Do you think any of this questions or subjects that I studied will be in the exam?"

I looked at her speechless!!!

On the side note, She'd Ace the exam!!!

Keep them coming.....

1st Post...

Driving by a school one afternoon, the sign read Happy MLK Day...
My wife of 9 years turned to me and said "Babe, what is milk day?"

I nearly crashed laughing so hard.