excuse me miss, i don't mean to pass, but you must be leaving the country if you're packing that much a--.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, hi i'm dillsrotary.

if looks could kill, you'd be held for murder in the first degree

nice shoes, wanna f*ck?

if you're a hot biscuit, i'll put butter and honey on you and whip you up!

Can I tickle your belly from the inside?

guy: How old are you?
girl: 16
guy: 18, let's go!

Can I tickle your belly from the inside?

in similar response

I would love to touch your heart. From the bottom.

guy: How old are you?
girl: 16
guy: 18, let's go!

http://ganjataz.com/smileys/01-grayball/images/wave.gif quagmire

might as well finish the quote?

girl: moooooooooom
quagmire: oh, i like where this is going

^^ quagmire FTW!!!
you want a banana?

I can't think of one, maybe that is why I have no gf.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

"I'm drunk."

Have any <insert heritage here> (ex: irish) in you?

if no: want some?
if yes: want some more?

Ahhh, good ol' Quagmire.

"Winnebago? More like, WannaBango!"

they don't work anyway.
Don't worry, i'm not showing any symptoms!

Ahhh, good ol' Quagmire.

"Winnebago? More like, WannaBango!"

Quagmire: Hey Peter, uhh you have a card for if you transfered V.D. to somebody.
Peter: Uhh lets see here...uhh yep, "Sorry I accidentally gave you V.D."
Quagmire: Huh, that's all you have is accidental huh? All right I'll take it.

"You look just like my mother."

"I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there. If you like it, you can take it. If you don't, send it right back. I wanna be on you."

Wanna send me a virus?

Your daddy must have been a terrorist, because you are the bomb!

"I have only three months to live..."

"I'm gonna drink till you're pretty"

(takes down pants) Is it big enough?

you got a facebook?

You look a lot like my next girlfriend

Damn baby, your husband is a lucky man!

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning

Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long

Say, didn't we screw at the Lilith Festival?

Anal you do ?

How do you feel about pooping on my chest?

If I were you, I'd have sex with me

can you buy me a drink?

That shirt is very becoming....


If I was that shirt I would be Cumming too


Also

What winks and screws like a tiger?
:wink2:


Feel free to use those...

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away

"I'm gonna drink till you're pretty"

LOL. That is by far the best one......

My wife won't mind....

Oh, I have about 8 kids, but don't worry I didn't marry any of their mothers...

"Hey, you misunderstand me, I wouldn't trade my ol lady for a carburetor"...

lol...

Baby did you just break wind....
cause your blowing me away......

For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much!

Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long

okay that one is awesome

Hey baby, lets do math. Add you and I together, subtract our clothing, then divide your legs and multiply.

i like turtles.....

"I wanna make caramel-colored babies with you..."

See this face? This face leaves at 2 AM.

Be on it.

Ever seen a gas card with this high a limit, baby doll?

And I have a buddy who will f*ck your ugly girlfriend, so whatdya say me and you...?

I do a lot of work with unwed mothers.

I just help them get their start.

Today's word is "legs". Wanna spread the word at my place?

you must be jewish because your body is on FIRE!!!

Do you work for Fedex? could have sworn I caught you checkin out my package.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate.

if you called your left leg christmas and your right leg new years. mind if i come visit you between the holidays?

i've been taking enzyte!

Lmfao!!!!!!

the human body has 206 bones in the body. how would you like a 207th in your's?

i may be old, but my love is still young!

haha best thread ever

are your parents retarded? cuz you're special.

can i have your phone number, cause i lost mine!

Where do you get these? They are awesome

some that i have remembered, some from the internet, some i made up.

Back on topic:
So, you do shave?

"Hi we are a bunch of Art students and we are doing a project by making a movie we want to know if your interested?"

"Yeah just come step into our bus"

You wanna play circus? Yeah, it's where you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight.

What about playing just the tip then?

How much do i owe you?

I'm unemployed, how much you make?

want to play train? sit on my face and ill go choo choo choo choooooo!

Have you seen a wenus?

You'll do.

oh you said you wanted a ride in my 8.

Can I come home and be your Bultler? I promise not to slam the back door.

if life was like a box of chocolates, you'd be the one stuffed with nuts

What do you say we go for a ride on my hog? Afterwards, we'll take the Harley for a spin.

You wanna get hammered? Then we can go out and get drunk!

lemme show you how my dog gets his temperature taken.