OK Noah’s ark was made out of wood. It carried a pair of every animal in the world to save the animals from the great flood. Now if it carried every animal it had to carry all insects which includes termites. Now if it’s a wooden boat with termites (can u say disaster waiting to happen.) sorry about that I am really bored and tired. LOL

That is the most idiotic thing I have read on this forum so far. Stop wasting our time. :mad: . If you're going to post "jokes", at least post good ones. Remember that most of the forum members are engineers and professionals, some with graduate degrees. Don't insult our intelligence with mind numbing jokes!

You raise an interesting question, desmo996. Do you mean to say that engineers, professionals, and people with advanced degrees have a more finely developed sense of humor? If so, how would you go about supporting the claim?

Originally posted by desmo996
That is the most idiotic thing I have read on this forum so far. Stop wasting our time. :mad: . If you're going to post "jokes", at least post good ones. Remember that most of the forum members are engineers and professionals, some with graduate degrees. Don't insult our intelligence with mind numbing jokes!

Bah, its the lounge, chill.

(and I'm one of those engineers with degree's)

Originally posted by selmeralto
You raise an interesting question, desmo996. Do you mean to say that engineers, professionals, and people with advanced degrees have a more finely developed sense of humor? If so, how would you go about supporting the claim?

Everyone has a sense of humor, but we're not five years old. Knock, Knock jokes are great.... for my small nephews.

I'm an aerospace engineer and I love "yo mama" jokes and "dead baby" jokes. Just cuz I are smart dusent meen I haf to heer gooder jokes. But then ... I don't find that observation/joke very funny. It's not offensive; just unfunny.

Also, get your facts (http://www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?passage=GEN+7&language=english&version=NIV&showfn=on&showxref=on) right. I'm not sure if termites are clean or unclean ... but more than a pair of every animal was taken.

That is the most idiotic thing I have read on this forum so far. Stop wasting our time. . If you're going to post "jokes", at least post good ones. Remember that most of the forum members are engineers and professionals, some with graduate degrees. Don't insult our intelligence with mind numbing jokes!


Originally posted by desmo996
I feel like an idiot. I should have read the flooding issues in the Tech Section. Took out the car out of the Garage, wash and Zainoed it, and drove it back into the garage. Remember to let the Engine warm up for 5 min . I had to drive the bike to work. I'll try to start it when I get home. If it doesn't start, I'll have to call the road side assistance number.:
(

smartypants ;)

Oh come on. Desmo, calm down. That is a seriously dumb thing to get annoyed about, especially if you're a "professional." This is the LOUNGE, for goodness sake. Eclps0, I have no idea where you came up with that. It was very strange.

Originally posted by Elara
Oh come on. Desmo, calm down. That is a seriously dumb thing to get annoyed about(especially if you're a "professional").

You're right, and I apologize. Not unlike Eclps0, I was also probably looking for a reaction from the forum (I'm also bored). You guys are merciless.:D

Originally posted by highspeed8
smartypants ;)
Great ownage! Kudos.. http://webhome.idirect.com/~jsmialek/Smileys/thumbup.gif

Originally posted by Eradicator
Just cuz I are smart dusent meen I haf to heer gooder jokes.

LOL:D

It's just not the termite problem, how did they keep the lions from eating the rabbits? If there were only two of each, how did they avoid the the offspring from becoming toothless banjo players? How did they all fit on a boat 40 cupids long? What did Noah feed the critters? You've opened a real can of worms here, but then there were only two on the ride (or was it one that split in half?).

God speaking to Noah:
Gen 6:14 "So make yourself an ark of cypress* wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out."

*THe translators were uncertain about the translation of the Hebrew word.

Information from another source: "Another study using extracts from cypress heartwood showed that the termites were repelled by the cypress extract and died from starvation (Scheffrahn et al. 1988)."

Also, I doubt if the termites enjoyed the pitch either.

Also, the termites only had 1 year & 10 days to do the damage. That's how long they were in the ark.

Originally posted by desmo996
That is the most idiotic thing I have read on this forum so far. Stop wasting our time. :mad: . If you're going to post "jokes", at least post good ones. Remember that most of the forum members are engineers and professionals, some with graduate degrees. Don't insult our intelligence with mind numbing jokes!

Originally posted by highspeed8


quote:Originally posted by desmo996
I feel like an idiot. I should have read the flooding issues in the Tech Section. Took out the car out of the Garage, wash and Zainoed it, and drove it back into the garage. Remember to let the Engine warm up for 5 min . I had to drive the bike to work. I'll try to start it when I get home. If it doesn't start, I'll have to call the road side assistance number.:


smartypants ;)

The flooding issues ! Hah! Find any termites? :D

In case you don't know already, here is what a "Noah's Ark" joke should sound like:

http://www.rx8club.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=13223

Speaking of Noah, did y'all know that Noah was one of the five constipated men in the bible? He had an ark full. In case you're wondering about the other four, not that anyone should be, I'm just bored and avoiding work....

Cain, he wasn't abel.
Moses, he took the tablets.
Sampson, he brought the house down.
The nomad in the desert, stuck at an oasis with his donkey... he couldn't move his ass.
:D

i poop on this post!

i found it online, i didnt make it up. i think some people need to calm down it was a dumb joke. if u read my post subject it said i (GUESS THIS IS FUNNY).

Originally posted by Kamala
Speaking of Noah, did y'all know that Noah was one of the five constipated men in the bible? He had an ark full. In case you're wondering about the other four, not that anyone should be, I'm just bored and avoiding work....

Cain, he wasn't abel.
Moses, he took the tablets.
Sampson, he brought the house down.
The nomad in the desert, stuck at an oasis with his donkey... he couldn't move his ass.
:D I'm not sure about the last two, but if I were to get as old as Noah, Cain & Moses, I wouldn't be as concerned about constipation. I'd be more worried about my "stuff" falling off, and my nose, my fingers, toes...:eek: Take Noah for instance - 600 years old when he boarded the ark for the rain storm. He was 601 when he got back off. Now that's old! And he wasn't dead yet, not for another 60 or so years!

Jhouse - yeah, I read your post. Too bad you're not one of us, huh? The world would be a better place indeed - for you anyway...:p :D

I could overlook the other spelling errors, but "errogant"->arrogant totally ruins your decoded acronym.

Eyugoistical?

uhhh yeah that was nice.

Originally posted by Jhouse
P.S. if it wasnt for the middle class their wouldnt be any engineers because nobody would buy their shit.

I don't know what engineers you know, but all the ones I know (me included) would fall into the middle class category. Well, except the unemployed ones, and that happens because we usually just work for businesses like the rest of the middle class (PS - at 70K/year, you make more than many engineers anyway). You seem to have a serious problem with an engineer or two - pretty unfair to tarnish an entire profession like that. It's not like we're lawyers or car salesmen or any of those real scumbags! :p

Regards,
Gordon

3d, huh? Can't seem to find time to figure that stuff out. What platform? I'm still wallowing in 2d AutoCAD...finally getting into paperspace lately...woohoo!

Gord: "It's not like we're lawyers or car salesmen or any of those real scumbags! "

Ouch. Even with the smiley. And no I don't sell cars and no I'm not giving out my number.

OK, I'll bite. What is your problem with engineers? Have they wronged you in a way? I could understand a hatred for attorneys, especially ambulance chasers. If it weren't for engineers we wouldn't be driving a nice RX-8 with plenty of safety features. How many lives have engineers saved with advanced medical devices. Cell phones have saved thousands of lives, including some of my friends. Engineers don't want to kill people with their designs. Accidents usually happen when corporate and lawmakers try to cut corners (budget). An engineer would test ant re-test a feature until it would be 100% failsafe, but the budget doesn't allow for that. Most of the accidents that NASA has had are because they had cut corners and compromised safety. Don't blame engineers, we're looking out for your safety. A lot of the lawmakers, attorneys, and corporate management are just interested in the bottom line. You rather have them looking out for your safety?

what started out as an innocent joke had to turn into a stupid argument...sometimes i wonder if some of you are actually "adult" "enginneers" or "professionals" and if you are, you have to be pretty damn egotistical to warrant such attitudes...

well with that out of the way, here's my joke or whatever you want to call it...well it's actually a logic puzzle but here goes:

2 guys and 2 girls...2 condoms...each person has a different STD, lets call guy 1 HIV, guy 2 syphyllis, girl 1 gonnorhea, and girl 2 herpes...how do each of the guys have intercourse with each of the girls without ANY of them contracting a new disease? remember there are only 2 condoms and NO, washing it after does not work...the answer is not a stupid one, it's very logical

Originally posted by LesPaul
Gord: "It's not like we're lawyers or car salesmen or any of those real scumbags! "

Ouch. Even with the smiley. And no I don't sell cars and no I'm not giving out my number.

Sorry, maybe I should have used double smileys or something! I was definitely joking - I'm married to a lawyer who is also an accountant! We get both the engineer vs. lawyer and engineer vs. bean counter jokes all the time. ;) :D :p

Regards,
Gordon

I AM SOFA
KING WE
TAUGHT IT.

My nephew got me on that one heh.

Originally posted by BRx8
2 guys and 2 girls...2 condoms...each person has a different STD, lets call guy 1 HIV, guy 2 syphyllis, girl 1 gonnorhea, and girl 2 herpes...how do each of the guys have intercourse with each of the girls without ANY of them contracting a new disease? remember there are only 2 condoms and NO, washing it after does not work...the answer is not a stupid one, it's very logical

LMFAO :D

Originally posted by BRx8
what started out as an innocent joke had to turn into a stupid argument...sometimes i wonder if some of you are actually "adult" "enginneers" or "professionals" and if you are, you have to be pretty damn egotistical to warrant such attitudes...

well with that out of the way, here's my joke or whatever you want to call it...well it's actually a logic puzzle but here goes:

2 guys and 2 girls...2 condoms...each person has a different STD, lets call guy 1 HIV, guy 2 syphyllis, girl 1 gonnorhea, and girl 2 herpes...how do each of the guys have intercourse with each of the girls without ANY of them contracting a new disease? remember there are only 2 condoms and NO, washing it after does not work...the answer is not a stupid one, it's very logical

maybe it has to do with the classification of the diseases. syphyllis and gonnorhea are bacterium related and HIV and herpes are immuno related so once contracted it cant be contracted again? so guy 1 does it with girl 2 then puts on the love sock for girl 1. guy 2 and girl 1 do it without any protection then guy 2 uses a condom for girl 2?

Here's another one of my "classics"...



What does it mean when two lesbians make love?















Don't mean shit...

RotaryStalker

Originally posted by RX-GR8
maybe it has to do with the classification of the diseases. syphyllis and gonnorhea are bacterium related and HIV and herpes are immuno related so once contracted it cant be contracted again? so guy 1 does it with girl 2 then puts on the love sock for girl 1. guy 2 and girl 1 do it without any protection then guy 2 uses a condom for girl 2?

you're thinking way too technical on this one...it really has nothing to do with the diseases, anyone of them can have any different disease...

here's the solution:

Guy 1
Guy 2
Girl 1
Girl 2
Condom 1
Condom 2

1) Guy 1 puts on Condom 1 and then puts Condom 2 on top of Condom 1

2) Guy 1 has intercourse with Girl 1

3) Guy 1 gives the outside condom (Condom 2) to Guy 2

4) Guy 1 has intercourse with Girl 2

5) Guy 2 has intercourse with Girl 1 (remember he has Condom 2 on which has already been infected with Girl 1)

6) Guy 1 gives Condom 1 to Guy 2 who puts it over Condom 2

7) Guy 2 has intercourse with Girl 2

the end...

reusing condoms? where is the logic in that? gross! :)

This thread confuses me. I still don't understand how eclips0's original statement is a joke. I guess I don't get it. And BRx8, I thinking along the lines of it being something less disgusting, and squidward whatever you said just completely baffles me. I guess I'm having a stupid day. So on that note a duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. He tells the bartender "Just put it on my bill." Ba da DA!

-JiM

So nobody got my joke about the lesbians???

No one understands my sense of humor... :(

RotaryStalker

I got it. U R A phunny gi!

Hey, BRx8, I got that too. Only one problem... the guy 2 puttin 1 over 2 and doin girl 2...man that thang got two doses of guy 1 in there!
It's gotta make a mess, comin out the end, slip-slidin around, probably gonna loose it in her! Dawg! That's nasty!!!! Besides, that'll mean guy 2 and girl 2 are gonna get HIV...YUK & darn!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO